Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sleep

At the beach I never had one good night's sleep and no one but me seemed to need sleep and I felt guilty and weird because of my sleep need and I took naps whenever I could and now I am home and I am going to go to sleep in my own bed which I mentioned previously.
When I was the ages from maybe eleven through high school I could see the light on from my room where my stepfather stayed up and watched the stock market unfolding before him and whatever else he was watching and I couldn't sleep if that light was on because that meant he was still awake and so he might come into my room and even if he didn't, that fear was as bad as the reality and so I can't stand for there to be a light on when I sleep.
Even the clock's red numerals drive me a little crazy and so tonight I am going to take a Benadryl and get into my own clean sheets and I know that no one who hasn't feared the light can understand what it's like and I know that some people fear the dark and I am so grateful that I am married to a man who does not fear either but will let me sleep in pitch-dark if that is what I need.
Sleep. I don't remember one dream from the beach.
I wonder where I will travel tonight.

13 comments:

  1. "O sleep, it is a gentle thing. Belov'd from pole to pole!
    To Mary-queen the praise be given. She sent the gentle sleep from heaven. That slid into my soul."
    -Samuel Taylor Coleridge
    "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner"

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  2. Love to you Mary your beauty dark.
    Rebecca

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  3. i feel the way about sound that you do about light, the fear of thinking you heard the stairs, the fear of hearing the stairs, or the sound of the bell on the door ringing and you knew you weren't alone.

    sleep well ms moon. i am thinking of you.

    xxalainaxx

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  4. I like to have dark when I sleep. Glad that you are safely back home.

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  5. I'm home, too, and I have so much catching up to do. I'm glad that you're glad to be home --

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  6. Oh, enjoy. And I LOVE your classy sage green and wave combo, this is beautiful.

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  7. I hope it was a peaceful sleep, Mary. I love you so.

    SB

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  8. SJ- In my dreams? Maybe you were, lamb.

    x-ray iris- Perfect.
    Thank-you.

    Madame King- Thank-you.

    Mrs. A- I guess we never really outgrow these things. Sigh.

    Syd- No shining evil eyes for us!

    Elizabeth- Do we ever catch up?

    Denise- I did.

    Jo- See, I thought it was sagey, too.

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- You are beloved.

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  9. Benadryl is obviously at least as important as antibiotics. I know I need it some nights when I can't get passed by sinuses or my fear.

    peaceful sleep. clean sheets.

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