Thursday, August 4, 2011

I Can't Even Begin To Title This Shit

The Tall-Boy man wasn't out today and in fact, I only saw butterflies and velvet ants. Hell, I may have passed a Tyrannosaurus Rex for all I know, holding his little hands up in the air and silently watching me pass by. When it's this damn hot I have to go out-of-body in order to survive.

Does that count as meditation?

The butterflies I saw were Gulf Fritillarys. Or is it Fritillaries? Either way, spellcheck doesn't approve. It doesn't approve of spellcheck either so there you go. The Fritillary looks like this:

I did not take that picture. I wish I had.
The ones I saw looked just like it though, and I saw as many as half a dozen on one plant, sipping and dipping, the way they do.

A velvet ant looks like this:

It is also known as a "cow killer" and it's not an ant at all but a wingless female wasp. I looked it up in the Wikipedia and it says this:

In a few species the male is so much larger than the female that he carries her aloft while mating, which is also seen in the related family Tiphiidae.

Now you know, I sure would like to see that. I wonder what it's like to be carried aloft while mating. I mean really aloft. Does the male set her gently down when he is satisfied or does he brutally drop her?
So many mysteries going on all around us all the time and we have no idea about them.

Tyrannosaurus Rex looked like this:

Maybe. Parts of Florida still look exactly like that which is why when I go through the parts of Florida which look like that, I still expect to see a dinosaur. I haven't yet, unless there was one today and I missed it but there is always hope. There is no hope, however, that I will ever see a Brontosaurus which of course was my favorite dinosaur when I was a child. There was no Brontosaurus. It was a hoaxy-mix up of bones which led people to believe there was. If there had been Brontosauri, one of them might have looked like this:

If it had been a baby being held by Jesus.
As Ms. Bastard-Beloved (who is on vacation and boy, do I miss her!) would say, "I just like the damn picture, okay?"

I will do no remarking on that picture other than to say that.

But you know I could.

It is blatantly obvious that I have no Deep Thoughts today. Well, some days you just don't and that's okay. We have poets and preachers for that. And Jack Handy. I am no poet, no preacher, and my name is not Jack Handy and I do not play any of those on TV. My thoughts today range from the Brontosaurus to the velvet ant to the fact that Owen will be here in a few hours and that we are having uncured hot dogs for supper with sauerkraut. I can't wait. I have been craving hot dogs recently and although I ate two delicious ones in Asheville, that was not enough. Please do not offer any Freudian explanations about why I am craving hot dogs. Sometimes a hot dog is just a hot dog and they are mighty tasty on a bun with mustard and sauerkraut. Or ketchup and pickle relish. Or that nasty hot dog chili they sell in a can along with onions.

And although I do not have any Deep Thoughts to offer you, no political ire to vent, no wrong to right, no religion to be cynical about, I am not embarrassed about this post. I feel that it may be, in fact, the only blog post of its depth and range of subject which is being posted in the entire world right this very second.

And I am proud of that.

As always...Ms. Moon


  1. if it was the black man's jeebus holding the trex it could almost seem plausible....i am so stealing this!


  2. I am sort of with you, but in my case it's fake veggie substitute ham slices with wholegrain mustard aghghghghghghgghghghgh so good.

    My mother always said there was no way you could disbelieve in dinosaurs growing up where she did (upstate NY/Michigan) because the evidence that they'd been there was so clearly all around.

    The picture is great :)

  3. Nothing like a good ol' Sister Moon post on a Thursday after rounds. That crazy ant wasp scares me. But I am scared of lots of critters, remember?

  4. This may well be my favorite post of all the time I've been reading your posts (since December, I think! I've passed the six month mark & change--)

    It's like my favorite things from my childhood: the World Book Encyclopedia that my parents bought the year I was born--from a traveling encyclopedia salesman--and over which they argued (my daddy maintaining they didn't have money or space for so many volumes, my mama insisting they would make me smart).

    I've dragged them around for 42 years and 2800 miles, and this here post is a humdinger. I love disparate bits of information! I never heard of velvet ants before today. Oh dear, I am so chatty. xo

  5. At camp, we told the kids that velvet comes from velvet ants.

  6. we also had uncured hot dogs with sauerkraut and mustard for dinner!

    well, i did. naf'tali had his without the kraut and substituted ketchup for mustard, and amzi's were tofu dogs.

    mrs miss alaineuss' comment totally confuses me. should i google something?

  7. Mrs. A- Why would it be more plausible? I'm confused. And steal anything you want.

    Jo- Fake ham? Okay. I guess.

    gradydoctor- And I am scared of the thought of organs so there you go.

    x-ray Iris- We had the Encyclopedia Americana. I loved it. I think Hank has it now. You can comment as much and as long as you like. Always.

    DTG- And as I showed Owen today, velvet also comes from Wisteria pods.

    adrienne- Yummy, huh? I cannot try tofu dogs. I do not know why. I am confused too about the Black Jebus. I mean, I know who Jebus is.

  8. I liked Brontosaurus as well, although the little pea brain seemed kind of sad. I had a full collection of plastic dinosaurs. Maybe they are still stored somewhere.
    I like those Hebrew National Hotdogs. Good stuff. I'll pass on the kraut though.

  9. I love Hot Dogs!!!!!!!!!!!

    In Canada they are now available with no preservatives or nitrites. And they are so good! Better even. Pork, Water, Sea Salt, Vinegar, Cane Sugar, Cultured Celery extract, Spice, Dehydrated Garlic, Smoke.

    Granted gawd knows what part of the pig I am eating but at least I know there is no cancer causing crap.

  10. The velvet ants are totally cool, and so are hot dogs. I love them.


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