Tuesday, August 16, 2011

It Has Taken Me Approximately Three Hours To Write This

I am as flat and uninteresting today as a corn tortilla, pressed and ready for the grill.

I got nothing.

I remember the catatonics at the Florida State Hospital For The Mentally Ill when I did my clinicals there.

I wonder if they felt this way before they quit doing anything but breathing. I wonder if they were relieved when they finally quit moving, eating, wanting, doing.

I really don't care to find out personally, though.

I really don't.


  1. Stay in bed. Read books. Sleep. If it really is the gall bladder, Mr. Moon will find you in great pain and take you to the doctor! So, wait and see. Let us know tomorrow. Or today.....

  2. What IS it this summer? I feel the same way most mornings -- flat and dull and everything I do is rather forced.


  3. I love corn tortillas and Mary Moon ~ neither is boring!

  4. I am tracking you this summer. First the bug yesterday and today the terriblehead and I can't move and I didn't go to work and I want to cry. I am so glad you're here.

  5. Well I wish it weren't so. And I wish I couldn't honestly say I know what you mean, but I know what you mean, mostly.
    Our bodies are betraying us.
    I'm suffering through the HRT to get my symptoms from severe to moderate, wondering why I can't expect anything better. I'm one more ache and pain and sore joint and pain jolt and dizzy spell and headache and mood swing away from - what - hell I don't know. Cracking? Therapy, maybe? I am nearing the end of my rope, dealing instead of living. I can't hardly stand myself lately, and am starting to resent everyone else.
    I have figured this much out though, that each storm system that rolls through wreaks havoc on me and my pain problems, so low barometric pressure is a bitch.
    So is getting older.
    Well. I'm no help at all.
    But you're not alone.
    So far, this too shall pass has stayed true for me, and hopefully for you too. Sending you a commiserating hug along the wires.

  6. Oh my word!! These were just my thoughts yesterday! Was sitting on my back porch staring at the trees and feeling sorry for myself. I thought, "Is this how catatonics start? Do they just shut down gradually?" Hope your heart digs its way back out again soon. Mine is still buried: Creativity is still being punched in the face by Worry. Worry is a bully.

    Sending love your way...

  7. yum. tortillas.

    on the road

  8. Mercury is smack in the middle of retrograde and won't go direct until Aug. 26. Everyone I know is suffering extreme frustration, angst, blind rage, extreme ennui, abysmal depression or some other emotional affliction. Everyone! Including myself (today it was blistering rage - an emotion I very rarely experience or acknowledge). I have just about had it with this fucking Mercury bullshit but am just going to try to stay buckled in and on the tracks somehow. It helps to know I'm not the only one flapping my batshit crazy wings and baring my batshit crazy fangs.

  9. take the day to just do nothing, dear ms moon. i wish i could join you. i feel like you do but am in the office and this is not a good combo. dont put any requirement on yourself. some days, it is more than enough to just be.

    sending love.

  10. Joanne- I CAN'T do nothing. Life just keeps engaging me. And probably that is such a good thing.

    Elizabeth- We are all going through it. Damn it!

    lulumarie- But let's fact it- a corn tortilla is mighty flat. Sigh...

    Madame R. King- We are connected with silver bracelets or spider webs or something. I love you.

    Mel- Shit yah. Hormones have much to do with it and who knows what else? God. I wish we weren't such strangely wired beings. But we are.
    Love you, hugging you.

    silverfinofhope- There are no coincidences. Maybe. Here we are, hugging each other. Holding each other, saying, Hang on, hang on, hang on.

    Adrienne- Where ARE you? And what are you doing? I think I am jealous.

    Kati- I adore you. Thank-you for the explanation.

    Angella- There is no day to do nothing! Whether you work in an office or not. But maybe that's for the best. You have no idea how much I appreciate you and all of your words. But I do.

  11. It's okay. Some days we are a tortilla and the others a calzone. In fact, all of this makes me hungry. And tomorrow is another day.

  12. Being catatonic sounds pretty tempting today, especially if they would put alcohol in my I.V.

  13. I've been pretty flat for just about a month. I tell myself that tomorrow is another day, and try to think of something fun to do that requires no effort.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.