Friday, August 19, 2011

Thoughts On A Luau

The luau was extremely successful in that my mother had the most family members there. As far as I could tell, anyway. Not only were Mr. Moon, Jason, Owen and I there but also my brother Chuck and his son Kian and daughter Riley.
Owen fell in love with Riley.
She was slightly embarrassed because it was so obvious. She is about to go into the second grade and such displays of overt affection are a little much for a young sophisticate such as herself.

Okay. Whatever.

Look- I don't want to live long enough to have to go into assisted living, even if it's the best assisted living in town. I really don't. It really does not look like fun, even with luaus being thrown occasionally, even if the employees put on grass skirts and dance the hula, even if there is coconut cream pie.

Most of the residents looked slightly abashed, as if they knew they were being treated like preschoolers but did not have the energy or wherewithal to do a damn thing about it and so they bent their heads to their barbecued pork sandwiches, potato chips, cole slaw and Hawaiian punch. There was both green AND red punch but I stuck to the iced tea. The program director was chirpy and and a bit manic and tried very hard to get a good trivia program about Hawaii going but after about three questions it became very obvious that no one cared and that her "fun" facts weren't that fun, not to anyone, including herself.
"Well!" she said. "I guess we'll just turn the music back on!"
At which point the dancing began.
Oh Jesus.

Somewhere in Tallahassee right now there is a man sitting at a bar, holding a menthol in one hand and a Cosmo in the other saying, "Girl, you have no idea."

But hell's bells, I think Mother was pleased to have so many of her babies around and she laughed at Owen's antics and agreed that he was indeed the cutest boy in the world (okay, I kept saying that, yes, I did, I can't help it) and Owen had a very good time pretending to drive the stretch golf cart and playing with his cousins and his dad and his Bop and his Mer-Mer. He and I took a walk around the tennis courts (of course they have tennis courts!) and we found a tennis ball and how a tennis ball escaped the notice of a community wherein tennis balls seem to be very important as walker accessories, I do not know but we did and he was thrilled. We had a rousing game of throw-the-ball and every time Owen got the ball he dipped a shoulder, handed it to Riley and blushed.

And we were the last people to leave so we did our part for Mother which was the important thing. Now Mr. Moon and I are home and are having our Friday night martinis and have played cards and he beat me for like the ten thousandth time in a row.
I don't care. I got to keep score with my beautiful fountain pen.

Friday night in Lloyd and my extracurricular weekend responsibilities have been fulfilled.


Fruit juicy, Hawaiian punch.

God, the flies are bad.

I hope my mother feels loved. And hey- I didn't have to cook supper!

Life is good. And Mr. Moon and I have renewed our vow to become junkies before we get to the assisted living phase and to OD together when we run out of money and health. Because even if fourteen children/grandchildren/great-grandchildren show up at the assisted living for a luau, it's not going to be that much fun. We know this.

Sweet dreams, y'all!

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. If ya'll *DO* end up in assisted living, I will come to your luau. But if you decide to become junkies and OD, I will definitely not force you into rehab. Promise.

  2. Omgrrrl- Put your hand on the Bible. Or Jitterbug Perfume.
    This is why I love you.

  3. Love the new look, this color suits you. I'm with you on the assisted living. I am no way no how capable of being a gracious old person, or living in a group home without becoming too depressed to live. Let's just hope it never comes to that.
    It was a good day for your mom and your family, from the sound of it, and you get the good daughter gold star for going and staying the longest.
    Sweet dreams to you to.

  4. Oh I'm too compulsive to leave that typo - too. :)

  5. Mel- I would be the same if I even noticed what I'd done. And hell yeah on the assisted living.

  6. WOW! Way cool header.

    My dad was not allowed to curse in front of us kids. But every now and then he would say, "Hell's Bells!" and my mom would say, "DON, the kids!"

    What a cool reminder of those times!

  7. I hope you have sweet dreams as well. I also like the new look. Glad you had a good time with the family at the luau, but I am totally with you about the assisted living. We have visited my aunt numerous times in an assisted-living facility and it is really sad seeing how some people are living the last years of their lives.

  8. Ohhh, what a nice surprise! A new look. I like it. A.LOT.
    Spiffy to watch, ;o))
    I am so with you on meant to be fun events in old people's homes. Let them have a sex orgy for god sakes... That would be fun. Bring on some booze so they can forget for a couple of hours where they are. Why is it that assisted living places depress the s*** out of me and a lot of others? The people living it included?

  9. Agggghhhhh......
    Green: calm, cool, soothing
    Red: a 'hot mess,' which may describe me to a T, but on you the color distracts from the message. Hope you're just trying it on but don't buy it.

  10. Now Mr. Moon and I are home and are having our Friday night martinis and have played cards and he beat me for like the ten thousandth time in a row.
    I don't care. I got to keep score with my beautiful fountain pen.

    This is so achingly beautiful that I shivered in a hot room and it makes me question all my choices from 24 years old to the present. But. If I am ever EVER ushered into an assisted living home or any kind of "home" whatsoever I will take myself out. I have worked in one. I know what they're like. From the inside. No. No. I am hoarding pills for when the time comes. I have a plan a way to do it that no one not even a doctor will recognize.

    Good morning Mrs. Moon!

    haha wv: fulocked. Yes it feels like that sometimes.

  11. Mrs. A- I liked it too but it was too dark somehow.

    lulumarie- That was my mother's only curse, too. Ha!

    Mr. Shife- I am not sure that "living" is the correct term. In some cases, anyway.

    Photocat- It depresses us because it is so unnatural. This cannot be right.

    Lucy- Well, I liked it and may go back to a different version but for now, I am feeling like I want it all plain.

    Madame King- Sometimes even I am able to fully accept that I have, for me at least, a very, very good life. Not KNOW, I know it all the time. ACCEPT.
    Share your recipe for pill-release?

  12. I like the junkie idea. The man who loves me says he would like a "pacebreaker" and not a pacemaker.
    Meanwhile martinis and cards, dancing in the moonlight, wine and conversation, and other pleasures should be pursued with love and passion.

  13. I am with you on the assisted living. No way. Just put me on a boat and send me out to sea. Or drop me on some island. I hate the idea of luau's and condescending stuff. Sad that I see my parents-in-law struggling to stay in their home.

  14. I think by then there will be better things than assisted living. I think you and Mr Moon will live together until you're very very old and you won't need assisted living. I really don't think you will.

  15. I don't want to go to a cocksucking nursing home either. They all smell like fucking piss and are so depressing.

    I love you.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.