Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Mystery Of Elephants And Their Speech Among Other Things

The heat finally broke last night and when we got up this morning, I was almost chilly. It is 91 on my kitchen porch right now but only 81 in my hallway. It's supposed to get down to 65 tonight. And then, well, the rest of the week looks like it's all back to normal, upper-nineties during the day, mid-seventies at night.
It is such relief, and yet, not, at the same time.

My darling friend Kati says that it's all explained with astrology. She wrote this in a comment today:
"Mercury is smack in the middle of retrograde and won't go direct until Aug. 26. Everyone I know is suffering extreme frustration, angst, blind rage, extreme ennui, abysmal depression or some other emotional affliction."

I don't know how I feel about astrology but I do know that it seems to me that everyone I know too is going through something and if it can be explained by the position of Mercury, well, what a fucking relief.

What if one day they figured this shit out and we could take special astrologically indicated medications for just such situations? Or at least we'd know for sure and that would be so helpful.

Even Owen, the most easy-going child I've ever met has been getting pret-ty darn fussy lately. Yes, I know. He's about to turn two and that could explain it but my Lord! "No!" he says. "Mine!" he says. Hugs and kisses are not as freely given as they used to be. I have to practically bribe the child to hug me. He wants what he wants and he does NOT want what he doesn't want and good luck trying to change his diaper.

I met up with him and his mama and Uncle Hank for lunch today and he'd just gotten a new baby elephant (see above) at the Dollar Store. He kept telling the elephant to talk. "Talk!" he would demand. The poor dumb plastic animal just couldn't talk. We had a very busy lunch, taking turns following the boy around the restaurant and then Lily and Owen and I went to the grocery store. I was out of everything. I bought one of each. Except for the things I bought four or five of. Then Lily had to clock in for work and I brought the boy home. He was melting down. I carried in a hundred and eighty something dollars of groceries in two trips and on one of those trips, I had him on my hip. He kept demanding to see the chicks, the goats, the tractor. I got the refrigerated stuff put away, made him a bottle and said, "Do you want to go lay down and read books?"
"Big bear," he said.
"Yes, with big bear."
"NO!" he said.
But then he thought about it and decided it would be a good idea. "Night-night," although he kept interrupting the Mr. Peep story to tell me "done." And would try to scramble off the bed.
I would not let him and we took a long nap. Oh my god. Thank god he still naps.

Thank god I have him to anchor me.

The air changes, the temperature changes, the planet continues to turn and thrust itself through the infinite ocean of space and as I said the other day, there are wonders and mysteries we cannot even begin to count.

I am doing all that I can to remember that. I am holding on to the dirt and the boy and the children and the man and that all adds up to the love. I am going to go to the beach next week with Kathleen and Judy and a few other women. My husband fixed my sink. I can brush my teeth in my own bathroom and wash my face there as well.
Such small, small, infinitely small dots of life in this enormous bag, bowl, basket of mystery and wonder and that comforts me. I do not want a personal relationship with a god. I want the comfort of knowing that all of my worries and crazies and fears and panics and yes, even joys, are too small to even bother a god.

Here is a picture that Hank put on Facebook of me and Lis when we were in Asheville. It comforts me too.

I am not going to fly off the planet any moment. I am here. I am anchored with so much love.

Elephants do talk but we can't understand their language. They talk with the vibrations of their footsteps, the bellowing of their mouths and lungs, the tip and tilt of their heads, the flap of their ears. Just because I don't understand it doesn't make it not true.

I hope to be able to tell Owen this. I hope to make him understand.

I would wish to understand it myself.

Let's hang on, y'all. Mercury can't be in fucking retrograde forever.

Love you truly...Ms. Moon


  1. You have no idea how much relief it brings me to hear that Mercury in retrograde can be blamed. Seriously.

  2. Whew. I have the abysmal ennui. My ass is stuck to the couch. Let me know when Mecury fixes itself, please. And take care.

  3. It's so strange, but yes, many of my friends are having tough times emotionally/mentally. Or just plain lack of energy. I know nothing of astrology, and I certainly won't discount that which I know nothing about. So yeah, let's blame Mercury. I laughed out loud, for real, when I read "The poor dumb plastic animal just couldn't talk." Ha! So much of rearing a toddler is like that--they want impossible things to happen, and to happen right NOW.

  4. Me too! Thank god I can blame it on Mercury cause I've been trying to figure out if I'm crazy or hormonal or lovesick or what. Now I can be sure this too will pass. Thank you Katie.

    When did Owen turn into such a Boy?

    I've been gone too long.


  5. Ms. Moon, you say it all. So glad to read it's just Mercury. Thank you, and thanks to Katie.

  6. Elizabeth- We take comfort where we can. Love you, dear.

    Denise- Ten more days? According to Kati. We'll survive.

    Lora- They are no more logical than the stars, these toddlers. And yet, we must try to create and maintain some sort of order. It's so hard. I know you understand.

    Michelle- He is SUCH a boy. Oh my god. You can't even imagine. Well, you probably can. Love you. Miss you.

    Food And Brew Love- Bless Kati. Bless us all.

  7. We can't get anything done. It feels like cabin fever except it is hot and dry with no rain. None. It hasn't rained since January. Normally we have a tropic depression or a hurricane but nothing.

    I am glad to know it is Mercury. And the exact day it will stop retrograding and fly right.

    We are fussy, too. Cranky. So sad about the dried up yards. So sad about the livestock suffering. These are terrible times. No rain, no jobs, farming busted in Texas. Jobs gone --yeah our governor is a heck of a job creator--people are working three of those jobs to make ends meet.

    No more retrograde.

  8. I was hoping that there was a true scientific explanation.
    But 61 degrees for you is truly incredible. Not so here along the steamy coast. We are still in the low 70's at night and nearly 90 during the day. Ugh!

  9. As some commenters before me I am glad too it is Mercury. Wherever and whoever steers it better go take a nap too. One of those days yesterday here in UK too. Jung must be laughing somewhere with all of us on an emotional breaking point roller coaster without knowing exactly what we are rolling from or to...
    Let's swap planets please...

  10. I wish Mercury would get the hell out of retrograde and SOON!

    I love you. You are my hero.



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