Friday, August 19, 2011

Fun, Both Formal And In-

Oh boy!
I'm going to a Luau tonight where informal fun is promised.
What in god's name would "formal fun" be? I get the image of a Marx Brother's comedy with people wearing evening dress and being smacked in the face with pies.
Would THAT be formal fun?
"Your" invited?
Oh come on.
We can do better than this. Right?

Yep. That's my plan for the weekend. A luau at an assisted living facility.
The good news is that Owen is coming. Now there is nothing in this world that the elderly love more than a baby. Well, maybe they'd like a Metamucil and Vodka cocktail but I seriously doubt that anyone is offering those out at Happy Hour, although they SHOULD! Damn.
But back to the elderly and babies.
Yesterday when we took Owen to lunch we sat at a round corner table where we could keep him corralled. Sort of. And because is a wiggly almost-two-year old, he was a bit boisterous. There was a two-top next to us where two women sat, your quintessential Ladies Who Lunch. They were both highly toned with bicepy skinny arms (the kind I wish I had- let's be honest) and tanned skin and one of them had amazingly large bosoms for someone so damn skinny and they wore Serious Jewelry and so forth. One of the ladies kept looking at Owen disapprovingly, especially when he used the bottom of his booster chair as a drum. Owen drums on everything. If there is nothing else available, he will use his own belly. Boy loves to drum.
Anyway, I could tell that Skinny Lady With Possibly Enhanced Bosoms was NOT happy to be seated next to us.
Now one table away from her two women sat who were older. One pretty darn old. And she kept looking at Owen too, but with that look in her eyes that I recognize as one I wear myself when I'm around a child. The one that says, "Oh. I want to get my HANDS on that baybee!"

And when we left, that woman said to me, "What a darling child! And so well-behaved!"

Now THAT'S a grandmother.
I'll bet you anything that SWWPEB is NOT or if she is, her grandchildren live in Martha's Vineyard or perhaps even out in Sunny California and that she is quite happy to live a continent away from them.

But at the luau tonight there will probably be a roomful of grandparents and great-grandparents who would love nothing more than to get their hands on that baybee and I'll feel like the queen of the universe because he is MY grandson. Haha! Mine!

I will be honest and truthful here. I did not RSVP to that invitation. I put it off all week, thinking that perhaps that comet would hit the earth and all life forms, as we know them would be destroyed, thus eliminating any need to RSVP.
However, once again, it did not and so Mr. Moon is responding because I hate to make calls like that and as he said, he is wearing a headset and also, HE IS THE MAN!
He is my hero.

Last night he asked me to help him do something in the garage. A tool was involved. No, that kind of tool. One that looked like this:

I am not even kidding you.

He went under the van he was working on and held a regular wrench to the bottom of a bolt and said, "Now," and I pushed the trigger on the tool you see above and it made a very satisfying and powerful noise and the bolt came right out and boy, oh boy, did I feel successful! I did that four times!

"That was fun!" Mr. Moon said as he crawled out from underneath the van.
"I've had worse times," I admitted.

Then I came in the house and finished the dishes and went to bed.

Well, that's how we have fun in Lloyd. One of the many ways, anyway. We also sit in chairs outside and look at the chickens. We also spend a lot of time looking for shit we've lost because we're old and we lose shit all the time. That's fun. Sometimes for fun I just go in my bathroom and watch my sink faucet NOT DRIP!
Okay. That's a lie. I don't do that.
But it does make me happy that it doesn't drip any more since Mr. Moon fixed it.
He's my hero.
Oh. I already said that.

Because I love him so much I might iron one of his favorite Hawaiian shirts for a more sartorial luau look. That would be fun. If I liked to iron, which I don't.

Mr. Moon and I are both yearning for a vacation right now. Together. Out of town. Out of the country. We need it. That poor man especially. He buys cars, he sells cars. He details them and fixes the boo-boos on them. He does the title work. He does everything. EVERYTHING! And he also takes care of my mother's finances and he's the one she calls for anything and EVERYTHING.
That poor man. The world depends on him. I swear.

And me? Well, I just want to have some fun. With him. Because we always have the most fun together. Throw us in Cozumel and leave us alone and we have FUN! We laugh so much. We love so much. We are like honeymooners who feel like we're getting away with something.
Which we are, which we do.

Well, it's not happening right now. We're going to have to have our fun right here.
We'll start tonight at the luau where we will have informal fun with our grandson.

It ain't Cozumel. But it will be what it will be.

And then maybe we can come home and have a martini and use some tools.

Happy Friday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Yep, that is a pretty big spelling mistake... But who am I to speak of course. He who is free from sin please throw the first stone.
    The pool party sounds like fun though, I guess pool and Florida are four hands on one belly. We would freeze to death here at any pool party.
    Wished you could go to Cozumel. Maybe I need to send you some mariachi, soothing for the soul.

  2. I just browsed through your blog roll and discovered myself there. What an honor! Thanks Mrs Moon... I owe you one! Cheers and thanksssssssssss

  3. Happy Friday, Mrs. Moon. As one grandma to another, I think that luau is gonna be way more fun with Owen than it would be without him. Now Cozumel....hmmm that sounds like a whole other story.

  4. I am cackling. Love this so so much. Sounds like the spring is back in your step (babies are SO good for that, aren't they? Babies kick Depression's ass so hard). xoxo

  5. I tell you I look at all the little ones and wish they were related to me...and I'm not a Grandma! I like to play peek-a-boo and smile a happy face at them.

    Your little big man Owen and he is going to be a big brother now...does he have some bongo drums? I think he needs some bongo drums. I have a friend who have multi drums in their living room for all who come over to play on. I really liked that idea! They have all different types of ethnic drums tall and squat. So Owen go for it!

    Have a swanky good time at the luau and have tropical drink or two.

    Get a flight planned for Cozumel as soon as you both can go. Plan and dream....

  6. Photocat- "Four hands on one belly?" I've never heard this expression!
    And yes, I recently updated my blog roll. There you are!

    Denise- Yep. I don't plan on taking grandchildren to Cozumel. I don't plan on being "grandmother" there if you want to know the truth.

    silverfinofhope- Sometimes you just gotta laugh. Today's one of those days.

    Ellen- Me too! Someday they'll probably call the police on me for flirting outrageously with a baby. As for the luau- Do you see any mention of "drink" on that invitation? No. You do not. Although yes, there is a picture of a coconut drink, I seriously doubt that any will be in evidence.

  7. I am so immature that RIDGID made me giggle.

  8. I do think a rigid tool is called for. Have fun at the luau, the bad grammar notwithstanding.

  9. You live on Hawaii then?

    Where else would Luau be?...

    Hey did you hear about the lady who had to have "personal surgery" after having an accident using an adapted power tool as a sex toy..! True story!

  10. Crap, how could you NOT go someplace where fun is promised and a pool is "available"?! ;-) I get ya on the RSVP thing too because I also hate calling! Hope it was fun and all the grandmas were jealous of your baby! :)

  11. we went to get sundaes last weekend to celebrate tony's grandama's life. tony and his cousin got in a spitball fight with his cousin's kid. the other two old couples in the sundae shoppe took turns giving us all disapproving looks. there is no glory in being old and forgetting the simple joys of life....they can take their bitter shake and suck it, just like the disapproving women from your adventure can. enjoy yourselves!


  12. Stephanie and DTG- I am so immature that I did that on purpose. Uh-huh.

    Syd- Rigid tools are always the best.

    Gledwood- Lord. I hope never to be that desperate. Hello, dear boy!

    Nicol- It was real and it was fun but it wasn't real fun.

    Mrs. A- Honey. I am trying.

  13. I love a RIGID tool! Laugh.

    Fuck that old skinny bitch at the restaurant. She can eat shit and die.


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