Today I am going for a walk and then I am going to town and going to Costco with Lily and Owen and Gibson and maybe, if Owen is in a good-boy mood, we might be going to lunch.
Yesterday I went to World Market to see if I could pick up any little thing for Lis's birthday which is tomorrow and I did, I found a few things, and also, I bought myself a completely ridiculous bag, a purse, I guess. I could put a dozen well-packed babies in that thing. It is a hippie bag, made in India, it has strips of different fabric and dangly-down things and the tag says, "Shell: 100% Miscellaneous Pieces of Undetermined Fiber Content," which I love.
Tomorrow I am going to get in my car with my new bag of 100% Miscellaneous Pieces of Undetermined Fiber Content and the little things for Lis and I am going to drive to Gator Bone for Lis's birthday and we are going to get pedicures and Lon is going to do our bidding, I hear.
I told Lis to tell him to get his cabana boy outfit drycleaned and she said he had already mentioned something about his loincloth.
I am going to make her a birthday cake.
I am going to spend the night.
I haven't done anything like this in so long. Gotten in a car and gone someplace by myself. I needed a new bag which is big enough to hold everything I might need, magazines and books and my pens and anxieties and credit card and debit card and so forth. A totem-bag.
I can. I will. I will be going tomorrow. I will come home on Thursday.
I am going to have a good time. I am going to leave behind chickens and babies and husband and garden. I am going to take myself and be with Lis for her birthday. I remember being with Lis when she turned forty- is this possible? We are much older than that now. When she turned forty, Mr. Moon drove Lon and Lis and me to the coast for supper in his convertible and Lis and I wore scarves and sunglasses and lipstick and Lon gave Lis pearls and we celebrated in style.
We had no idea how young we were.
We are never going to be any younger than we are right now.
I am going for a walk now. I am going to go to town. I am going to see my grandsons. I am going to be glad that this day is a day of my life, this crazy-cool day where the new pecan leaves look like green feathers against a blue sky. I am going to take my bag, I am going to show my Costco card to the guy at the entrance and I am going to shop with my daughter and I am going to be happy and I hope I get to carry that baby boy in my arms, a perfect bundle of baby, he weighs over ten pounds now.
Going. I am going now.