Thursday, April 19, 2012

Busy Peace

Name all of the things in that picture. Find the hidden items, the hidden meanings, identify the metapahors, similes, sea creatures and crazy eyes. Count the number of Queens of Mexico. Please note the roses and jasmine. I grew them. Also the round shape of the vase they are in, which pleases me, roundness, whether in vases, turtle shells, or fatbaby knees.
Do you see the woman behind the curtain? Ignore her. She is not there now.

I have x-number of days by myself. Mr. Moon and his sister-in-law have taken off for the island with enough food for a month, enough fishing poles for a troop of fisherpeople, enough boat-length for ten more, and probably not enough bug repellent because there just isn't that much in the world.

They originally planned to go out today, return on Sunday but the weather doesn't bode well for such a long stay. One must be able to get back from the island which means that one has to keep a wary eye out for coming storms.
I had originally thought to go with them but I am staying here instead. I love my sister-in-law. She is a gentle, amazing soul who is stronger than just about anyone I know. I love to hear the laughter, easy, between sister and brother.
You know.
Dog Island.

Plus, who would watch the baby chickens? Yesterday I discovered that no, they are not smart enough to get in out of the rain. They were outside when it began to rain and instead of huddling up together under the piece of tin which would provide complete dryness, they choose to stay in a wet corner and we had to bring them in and let them dry under the light and they stretched their wings out and turned on their sides to luxuriate in the warmth. We did this before we went out to eat our dinner and it was a wonderful dinner. I told the chefs when we were leaving how much we enjoyed it. How tremendous it was. They ducked their heads and said, "Oh, sometimes we get it right."
I also hugged my old friend, the dishwasher. He is deaf and has the most beautiful smile in the world.

There was no dancing. Except for that. That hug. It was a tiny, still dance and if there was music, it was inside of our heads.

And so now they've gone. We went to the grocery store this morning for them to buy their food and then went by Lily and Jason's to see the boys.
I got to change Gibson's clothes. I can't recall ever delighting in a naked baby quite the way I delight in Gibson. I wish he never had to wear anything. He is that perfect.
As are they all.

Gone. They're gone. Pulled out with that giant boat, gone and here I am and the house is clean enough but there's laundry to finish up and the garden. Oh my, the garden. I could spend every moment of the next few days in there and it wouldn't be enough.
Tomorrow I think that Owen is coming over to play for awhile. I miss him. He mostly ignores me if anyone else is around (meaning his grandfather) but if it's just the two of us, he will deign to play with me. When we were leaving, Lily said, "Owen, give everyone kisses good-bye."
He said, "I gave hug Mer-Mer already."

He had. He did.

It is quiet and peaceful and for a day or two I will have my own schedule to tend to whatever I feel like tending at whatever time I want to.
Or not.

But I will. I am a tender.

And I feel very tender, as a matter of fact.

There is a cardinal in the bird bath. There is a blue-tailed skink on the back steps. There is so much green, fresh-washed and shining. The doors and windows are open and there is not much of a delineation between inside and out.
Roses and jasmine are in both places.

For no one's pleasure but my own. I feel sort of guilty.

But not really.


  1. It's an amazing feeling to get to walk through your world with you. It always feels a bit magical.

    There often seems to be this "dropping down" after you see your mother - residual pain and a going into yourself. It's the same for me. But I hope this next few days will renew you and let your strength come back.

    Lipstick is a small miracle , isn't it....loved that last night :)

  2. I am glad you have some time to yourself to do whatever it is that speaks to your soul. Have a relaxing beautiful day Ms. Moon. Joanne

  3. I should be fishing. Damn, the regret, the misgivings; should I quit my job? Mama and Baby can eat bait, and we'll hitchhike everywhere, and sew our own clothes out of grass.
    I could pray to that shrine!
    I just want to be out fishing right now!
    And you think you're crazy...

  4. It sounds peaceful and wonderful. Having the house to yourself with flowers and curves where you want them. Have fun tomorrow with Owen.

  5. I love what Liv said...about how it's nice to walk through your world.

    Your writing is true, it is good, it is singular.

    Also, sounds like the universe is giving your soul exactly what it needs: peace, quiet, fuzzy chickens and Owen.

  6. Guilt is a completely counter-productive emotion. So stop that right now.

    Enjoy your days to yourself. Sleep in. Eat what you want. Do what you want. OK? Good!

  7. I wish I had roses and jasmine and little boy hugs.

  8. liv- Could it really be that simple? That when I see my mother I go into one of those dark places? I need to pay attention. Thank you for coming along for the magic and the darkness. I appreciate that.

    Joanne- I am. Having a lovely, quiet day.

    Magnum- We're all Bozos on this bus, baby. It's okay.

    Photocat- Thank you, love. Thank-you.

    Chrissy- A good time to remember that if we hang in there, things do lighten up and that the universe does, indeed, sometimes provide.

    Birdie- I will, I am. I swear!
    (Fuck guilt.)

    Jeannie- I know I am lucky. I do know that.

  9. Find a patch of soft new grass and roll around and tickle that O-boy. Glad you are taking care of you.
    x0 N2

  10. I hope they catch good stuff and make it back before any weather happens.

    AND... I hope you enjoy your quiet time.

  11. Your words are like music Mary...just pouring over me like the sunshine that plays with the new green leaves on the willow tree outside my home.

    Enjoy your time alone and dream...go see your new Grandson...sing to him a lullaby. Gather Owen in your arms and have him dance to some good foot moving music.


  12. I know that I would like Dog Island. Your description reminds me of the places I go and where I live. Enjoy the free time you have with yourself. That is to be cherished.

  13. May these quiet days bring you peace.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.