Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Sorry. Chuckles The Clown Is Nowhere To Be Found This Morning

It's raining. A lot. I have to leave the house in an hour and I got about four and a half hours of sleep and when I was asleep I was dreaming dreams that would scare the children and upset the balance of the universe as we know it.

I'm so exhausted that I can really only see out of one eye and that one seems half blind.
This has been the longest week and it's only Wednesday. And barely begun Wednesday at that.
My brain is laughing at my coffee.

"HahahahahahahahahaHA! Try amphetamines, then get back to me," it is saying.

Judy asked me yesterday how much I sleep.
"As much as possible? Is that wrong?"

I would give approximately one thousand dollars not to have to take my mother to the doctor this morning. I would give another thousand for someone to come and clean my house. And yet another thousand I do not have to be able to go back to bed to float away on some other dream, even if it was not a peaceful one.

That's me. Wasting money as usual.

The rain has settled down. The dog beneath my feet is emitting some foul gas. I should go outside and feed the cat, gather the paper, drink my breakfast of healthy stuff, open the chickens to their run.

At least it is not freezing here. At least the land is not covered in ice. At least I have a bed to lay in, and not least of all, that man who holds me tight before we drift away.


  1. I'd clean your house for half that! Actually, a mere fraction! AND you'd be doing me a favor... we need the money! :-O

    Seriously, hope you feel better. And if you don't, I have some amphetamines. I really really do.
    Good luck today.

  2. i am placing you close to my heart where you will remain.....
    cherished and supported through this challenging day.
    may there be a nap at the end of this weary drive.
    hang tight and don't take the bait.

  3. Understandable about the bad sleep before today. When I wake up to a day with a schedule I don't want, but have to do, I found that recently I seriously soothe myself (that child of long ago that you can mother now) and tell myself, "You can do it...just 6 hours from now and it will be over and then I will appreciate my regular morning the next day so, so much."

  4. I think about the Al-Anon saying,"I can do something for twelve hours
    that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime." Hang in there. Rest will come soon.

  5. If I were you, I'd hire Petit Fleur and feel good about it.

  6. It's been Monday all week. Let me know how things go with Granny.

  7. be well. one of the many things that i am thankful for today is that i dont ever have to deal with my birth mother like that.

    i'll be a taxi for you if you come sub for me tomorrow.....if we leave NOW and both drive like bats out of hell we can meet in st. louis and forgo all responsibility and go sightseeing or something.

    ps tallahassee is one of our spelling words this week.


  8. No Chuckles? I want my entry fee back. Wait. Nevermind.

  9. Oh Ms. Moon, I would give a thousand dollars I don't have so you wouldn't have to take your mother to the doctor.

  10. Oh, dear. I will be thinking about you as you do this.

  11. we are all wanting to float away somewhere it seems. february blues, maybe. i hope things go well with your mother this morning, and that when you come home your relief at being home again is so deep it will feel like a mountain of joy.

  12. DTG guy said it best. Can this week go away please? Hope it went well.

  13. Aw, Ms. Moon. I hear you on this week. It's been a crazy week here too, and yes, it's only Wednesday. Ugh. And, last night was an interesting dream night for me as well, so I could relate to that part. In my dream, I kept opening doors and couldn't find what I was looking for, except for cobwebs and large fat spiders (which I like, but it was still symbolic, I am sure.) Hope your day turns out better than expected.

  14. You shouldn't post you have 3large and amphetamines laying around your house just prior to also posting you're about to leave your house.

    I trust your readership demographic but hell, one of them may be 'bout to home invade.

  15. I wish to go back to bed every single morning. It's the best method of (not) coping with depression that I have, aside from the antidepressants.


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