Tuesday, June 16, 2015

I Am Not Trans Racial Nor Trans Gendered But I Can Be Trans Cultural When Needs Must

Dear god, some days I think I am trying to kill myself with these walks.
Other days, I am certain of it.
Although I said I was cranking up to a rant or at least political discussion last night, I've done walked myself out of it. Actually, I'm going to town to meet up with some young'uns.

Who the hell am I channeling today?

Well, I've had one conversation with the guy in charge of laying sidewalks and one conversation with the lady at the water board office and another woman who was in the office too.
"How far do you walk?" the other lady asked me.
"She gets it, don't she?" asked the water board lady.
We proceeded to discuss nude beaches among other things.
The sidewalk guy needed to talk to me about how we weren't going to be able to get our cars in or out from this afternoon until tomorrow evening. He looked around at my yard and said, "My god, this is a beautiful place."
I saw it through his eyes and it is. He told me that his wife had always wanted an old house like mine. "But in all the years we was married, she never did," he said, almost accusingly, as if it had been her fault.
Maybe it was. How would I know?

Anyway, the sidewalk guys are gettin' it too.

Never thought I'd actually see it. 

All right. I need to get a shower and scoot before I'm trapped inside the fence. 
Which, you know, wouldn't make me too upset although I think I can hear Japanica! calling my name. Costco may be whispering it.

But before I leave- do y'all have any thoughts on Rachel Dolezal? I can't quite figure out how I feel about the whole issue. Not that it's really my business. But I sort of want to discuss it. 

Later, loves.

Ms. Moon


  1. I'm not sure what to think about that situation, but I've seen some nasty comments on FB made by people who would have had a fit if the same comments had been made about Caitlyn Jenner. I'm confused about that. If CJ can choose to identify as female even though she was born biologically male, then why can't Dolezal identify as a different race than she was born as? At any rate, I don't understand the vitriol....it's not as if she was trying to cash in on white privilege. It's all beyond me.

  2. I think it's the lying that makes it not-so-cool. Also - would the reverse be true? Could a black person self-identify as white?

  3. Could the reverse be POSSIBLE I should have asked. Not would the be reverse be true.

  4. I've only looked at her story from afar and feel in no way qualified to judge, no-one I know has been talking about her... Make sure to grafitti that sidewalk!! We are having another rain day.

  5. I just really can't or won't discuss it. I'm tired of it all. I think this country has gone coo-coo for sure as far as what gets attention and discussed. I don't think we know shit. I don't care what gender, race or culture one aspires or identifies with, nor do I care whom marries whom. I've reached my capacity for caring, I think.

  6. My son is 26, wears a suit and tie even when a suit is not required (he says it demonstrates respect for himself and others), plays classical piano, goes to the symphony, listens to opera, enjoys Downton Abbey and is almost half black (my 'black' mother in law told me her grandfather was Portuguese and all my ancestors trace back to Ireland.) My husband and I are a Rastafarian and a hippy and we have no idea how we hatched this conservative ivy-league law student. Must be youthful rebellion.

    Does he self-identify as white? I dunno but he is definitely more white than black, genetically speaking although he sure looks brown enough. He refuses to join the diversity groups at uni or to check off the 'visible minority' box on applications. Is that why in spite of his hard work his life seems to be so much more difficult than his peers'? I dunno, but if he could choose to self-identify, it would not be with his Irish roots, although he once told his Irish Literature Prof that he was Irish, much to the Prof's amusement. He prolly thought my son was joking.

    Is he having an identity crisis? Is that why he almost exclusively dates Asian pianists and violinists (are there any other kind of girl pianists or violinists in the 20-something demographic he asks me? Should I talk to him about his adoption of Japanese, Mandarin and Korean customs, culture, cuisine and language? His obsession with some Japanese novelist?

    He tells me that Andre Watts (prolly the only concertizing classical pianist who happens to be black) does not self-identify as black. He is the child of a Hungarian mother and an American serviceman, raised in Hungary and he acts like any European classical pianist and plays like a Hungarian.

    Which makes me think that maybe it is not possible to self-identify racially in the US. Although I am sure that plenty of persons with black ancestry but white skin and features were able to 'self-identify' as white (they used to call it "passing") in the US and in Canada where the terminals of the underground railroad led to tiny pockets of coloured folk who were quickly assimilated and effectively watered-down and white-washed. Some of their pale recent generations have desecrated the graves of those escaped slaves who were their ancestors.

    When I lived on a tiny remote Caribbean island without white friends or white hair salons, was it offensive when I gradually developed a thick West Indian accent and wore my hair in braids and dressed like the women around me? I dunno, but I did find in the slow season when no white tourists were around for months, when I would catch my reflection in a store window (we lived on a boat so no mirror) it was always with a mild sense of surprise. I also found that tourists began to "all look alike" to me. It never occurred to me that most of the time in any gathering I was usually the only white person present. Living an outdoor life and in the absence of mirrors to obsess over, I simply never thought about what I looked like. When I see pictures of myself from that time I know one thing for sure: I was much more attractive whether from youth or a lack of self consciousness.

    I hope none of this offends anyone. I wish someone in the New York/Philadelphia area could tell me what are the chances of my son finding anyone to date now that he has relocated his life there.

    It's always interesting around here. I hope my blong is not off-putting to you Mary. If it is, please just delete it.


    Gawd, reading all this is it a wonder that I am depressed, manic and exhausted? Is it too late to go back to being a confused island woman?

  7. Dear Mary, I don't know what to think about Rachel Dolezal. Every time I think I know what I think, some new tidbit of information is released, and I'm just confused again. I'm not mad at her. I wonder why she lied. Why didn't she just say I'm white but self identify as Black. Ironically, even as she was identifying as Black, she still fell back on White privilege when it suited her. I just don't know if there is a broad takeaway here. In fact, I'm pretty sure there isn't, except the reverse would never happen, per Stephanie's comment above: A Black person simply could not self identify a White if he or she looked in any way Black. Or rather they could self identify all they wanted but there would be no buy in from the world around them, at least if they lived in America.

    May I say a word to Invisgal?

    invisigal, do you have a blog? I want to follow you! Your comment is not in any way offensive to me, rather it reveals you as open to the world in a way that is informed by life experience rather than a false sense of patronage, which maybe Rachel Dolezal felt, I don't know. Your son will find plenty of Asian violinists and pianists in NYC, and many others to boot. He's going to be fine. A hippy and a Rastafarian, living on a boat in the islands. I know you have stories! Best of all, living with no mirror. We should all do that at some point in our lives.

  8. Looks like you are getting curbs too!

  9. Kat Blaque has a YouTube video. Check it out. Fascinating news week, for sure. I just can't hate on her--she's done good work, but I do sense that she is somewhat deranged and confused....uh, yeah, and a liar.

  10. Jennifer- The whole thing raises a shit ton of questions. And in my mind, the questions don't even really pertain to Ms. Dolezal. One big difference between Ms. Jenner and Ms. D is that Ms. Jenner "came out" quite publicly. But then again, she probably has felt incredibly pressure about someone outing her for years.
    I don't know!

    Stephanie- As Angella pointed out, it would be impossible for a Black person who has more features we associate with that particular race to pass. Many Black people with very white skin HAVE passed over the years.

    Big Mamabird- We will put our handprints in the cement tomorrow. They will be pouring it outside my yard then and the boys will be here!

    Elizabeth- What I find interesting about the whole thing is all of the uncertainties It has shown me that I have. And now I have to think about things that I didn't before. Which is sort of a good thing, I believe. To have to search my mind and heart to figure out how I really feel. But that's just me.
    It really, in this case, has almost nothing to with the woman except that she's the one who is making me think.

    Invisigal- You know, I am SO glad that you wrote all of this. I mean...I didn't know one damn thing about you and now I do! What an interesting time of your life that must have been. I agree with Angella- I wish you would write your own blog. I would certainly read it. And your son sounds amazing. We just never know how these kids are going to turn out, do we?
    And you know what- it's probably NOT too late to be a confused island woman and this time you might not be so confused.

    Angella- You are completely correct. I just can't quite get to the core of what I think about this. I agree with you so much in that it is not apparent why she would have not just adopted the culture, but tried to get away with "passing". One minute it all makes sense to me in the light of her family of upbringing and so forth and the next minute, I'm shaking my head and disagreeing with myself.
    And hell yes! Invisigal NEEDS to start sharing some of her life-stories. In my selfish opinion, at least!

    Not Blank- I can't tell what the finished product is going to look like but I am being very open to the idea that a sidewalk will be nice.

    Denise- I, too, think that she has some real "issues". Ones I would call mental issues. But would I call her crazy? I don't know. She seems to have done very good work, as you say. Deranged? Confused? A liar? Yeah. Probably. But I can't hate on her either.
    Thanks for introducing me to Ms. Blaque!

  11. 37paddington,you are very kind. I have been enjoying your blog for so long, I feel quite selfish for having no blog to offer up. I find I can write OK in response to one of these awesome blogs you incredible ladies create but if I try to originate a post or compose "extempo" to draw an island metaphor, my prose gets crushed under it's own self-important verbosity and I feel boredom must be the inevitable result. I wish I could knit riveting prose out of thin air and my own musings the way you ladies do.

    I hope you are right about dating prospects in NYC and Philly. Mary Moon has me longing for grands!

    As for Rachael, I must say the direct misrepresentation is very disconcerting. I mean it seems a little self-serving and harmful to an organization that she should be genuinely supportive of given that she has children and siblings of colour. I mean, boundaries people! Yes I support my son and am conscious of the challenges he faces, but I am not him. The challenges faced by my black husband and my black son are not shared by me, but I do tend to use my white privilege to point out that they are often not treated the same as I am or my brothers or their white children. I think that makes more sense than pretending to be something I am not just to get a job.

    Obviously feeling verbose today.


  12. Yes! Hear, hear for invisigal! I, too, want to read her blog.
    And Mary, what wonderful people come here to visit you.

  13. Hmmmm...it looks like you're not getting a curb to go with that sidewalk!

  14. Invisigal- Maybe you need to get over worrying about the writing and just write! We all have different styles. So what? Time for you to quit being invisible? We are waiting...

    Mwa- I know! It is the best community ever!

    Steve Reed- I don't think so. Oh boy. Probably wasn't enough funding for curbs. I'm completely shocked they found funding to run the sidewalks up to the county line.

  15. caitlin was honest about who she was and wasn't. her actions will help others be their authentic selves.

    i'm cool with all colors and kinds of people being down with other cultures and creeds, but what bothered me about the RD situation was that she lied about who she was,she still played the white privilege card when it suited her, and her charade took away from the ongoing struggle for true racial equality and the credibility of real blacks trying to enlighten ignorant folks then her work contributed to ending racism. i find her to be mentally disordered and i hope she gets her 15 seconds over with so we can go back to the real problems of the world...



Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.