Friday, August 29, 2014

Well, This Is What My Friday Looks Like

Miss Eggy Tina just walked through the dog door onto the porch, cackling about it. Then she left back out the way she came in after a quick look-around. I can just see it now- chickens all over the house, dropping eggs in various bowls, baskets, and on pillows on the couch, hopping up on the dinner table when we eat. Next thing you know, I'll have a damn washing machine on the front porch and half the cars in the yard will be up on blocks, shotguns will be leaning up against the front door and we'll be wearing long underwear in lieu of other clothing, the armpit sweat stains permanently in place because of course the washing machine on the porch won't work.

(It's Me, It's Me! Earnest T! Earnest T. Bass from the Andy Griffith Show)

Well. Maybe not.

Sometimes though, I worry that something like this could very much happen. 

My walk this morning was a torture. By the two and three-quarters mile mark I would have stopped, laid down in the weeds beside the road and called a cab if that had been an option. Since it wasn't, I just picked up the pace and got it done. I'm listening to a Jonathan Franzen novel on audio as I walk ("Freedom") and I always get Franzen and Michael Chabon mixed up, just as I get Selma Hayek (Mr. Moon's girlfriend) confused with Penelope Cruz (not Mr. Moon's girlfriend) and also Andie McDowell and Mary Steinburgen. I mean seriously, I have to think about it every time. Anyway, the Franzen novel does go on, picky picky problems of reasonably well-off and educated white people, whatever. I guess I like it okay. And I can hardly complain. 
The name of my blog instead of "Blessourhearts" could easily be "Picky, Picky Problems Of A Reasonably Well Off And Educated Old White Woman."

Well, I don't really have any problems now that the dogs are gone except for the chemical problems in my head and we all know that mental illness is nothing but the picky, picky problem of a white person with no real life and that I could definitely just pull up my bootstraps and goddam it! DECIDE to be happy! because we all have that choice, right, and according to every fucking meme I read on the Facebook, no one is in charge of my happiness but me but I'm not really talking about happiness here, but merely the desire not to be a damn snakecluster of crazythought. 

Well, we shall persist in doing the chemical therapy, the chicken therapy, the exercise therapy, the positive thinking therapy, the gratefulness therapy and the dirt therapy. 
Martinis will also be employed tonight in a sort of therapy and it occurs to me that I never did find and pick and eat mushrooms and I haven't given up on the idea and I still think it's worth a shot.

So what's on YOUR mind today? What sort of therapy are you employing? 
The grandsons will be here soon. I better go make the bed so they can mess it up, get the kitchen all straightened up so we can trash it again. They better be ready with some kisses because I sure do need some. 

Maurice says Hey! 
That's a lie. 

Happy Friday, y'all. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. This is off topic, but I went to TJ Maxx Wednesday and saw not one but two different brands of overalls. I didn't buy any, I guess they are on there way back. Gail

  2. I've noticed the re-introduction of the overalls lately but they are the goofy stylish ones. No good for actually work. Dammit.

  3. I'm glad you're having martini therapy. You know who I get confused? Ira Glass and Colin Meloy. And every white guy on SNL.

  4. there are so many things I could do today that I can't decide. finish in my effort to DEAL WITH all the crap in boxes from the move, stuff I apparently didn't care enough about to lug out here four years ago but which is now cluttering up my work room.

  5. LOL, Mr. Moon's girlfriend. She is a firecracker that Selma Hayek. As for choosing to be happy, why wouldn't we all choose it if it were so damn easy? Coming here to visit you always makes me happy, though, even when the glittering rainbows are in hiding.

  6. Some friends of mine, a couple, went mushrooming, found mushrooms which they deemed good mushrooms through some assumed germanic osmosis maybe? They cooked up and ate the mushrooms...which made them very very they curled up on the bed and prepared to die, which seemed to them the right thing to do at that time... It took them a year or a bit longer to fully recover from that adventure..! I am just glad I don't like mushrooms and so was never considered as someone to invite along...

  7. Ms. Vesuvius- I don't even know who Colin Meloy is. I think I shall google him. And as to SNL- I never, ever watch that any more. Am I missing something?

    Ellen Abbott- Oh god. If I would just throw away everything I haven't touched in four years I could live in an RV. I swear.

    Angella- I fell totally in love with her when she breastfed that baby in an orphanage. I mean- she's my girlfriend too so it's okay if she's Mr. Moon's. I'll share.

    Big Mamabird- For some reason, that delighted me- the curling up on the bed and being prepared to die. Ha! Been there.

  8. When we had a pet door it occasionally was located and used by stray cats and resident raccoon. The latter were a big problem. Eventually my brother in law made a permanent closing for the door and the dogs and cat learned to ask to go out.
    And, to answer your question, I'm about to go weave a few more towels. My current therapy.

  9. I'm voting this one of my top five. You had me laughing at the washing machine on the porch and cars on blocks. Mr. Moon will have to grow a bushy beard and martinis will be in old mustard jars. By the time I got to damn snakecluster of crazythought I was dissolved. Not laughing at the crazy thoughts but even when you said Maurice says hi, that's a just killed me. You deserve an early martini and then a chaser later. Much love from my porch to yours, Anon Suz

  10. Of course we should DECIDE to feel better... now why didn't I think of that?... Because it's far too much fun feeling as we do!!! I had a consultant once... he said "think happy thoughts!" Another said "Of course you won't be happy being single... go out, meet someone, get married, and then you'll be happy!" Fucktards! I've only ever punched someone once (a whole other story, but now I know that I don't do "girly" ones :) ) but I was sorely tempted. So, not picky picky at all Ms Moon... very real, and isn't it high time that people weren't so judgemental, because that really helps us feel better too!

    My therapy tonight is, indeed of the Martini variety. I suspect there won't be any left in the morning... and as my girls are away... I can float about the house (ok, maybe wobble) in my skimpies and ignore the mirrors and pretend I'm as fat as I was when I was in my teens. I'm still as young inside, it's just the packaging which is damaged and sagging... gravity is so heartless.

    I have no doubt at all that your boys will shower you in well deserved and loving kisses. Sending a kiss for you, dear Mary, even if it's only of the virtual kind x

  11. *snorksnork*

    ty for making me laugh

  12. My therapies employed so far today: t'ai chi chih, yoga, walking on beach, meditating. Next I will employ the therapies that will mitigate that rather nice opinion you may have of me.

  13. I've never plucked up courage to eat mushrooms I've picked. Never.

  14. I didn't like that novel, Freedom. I don't think it has a beating heart. Although I love another of his books, the name escapes me...

    I always get these two redhead actresses confused- Amy Adams and Elsa..or is it Ella? I don't know, but they look so much alike.

    The possible name of your blog made me actually laugh out loud. :)

  15. I've gone searching for mushrooms before and found some growing in cowshit by the light of the moon. They were little tiny purple ones, but we were too afraid to eat them.

  16. My therapy today was horseback riding this morning, a muscle relaxer after that, a nap, some analgesic gel for my lower back, and the gym tonight.

    I have picked chanterelle mushrooms locally. They are so delicious. I could eat fungi every day.

  17. Joanne- Weaving towels? Show me. Please.

    Anon Suz- I waited until almost eight to have my martini. What was fine. I am so glad that you got the humor in what I said. There was plenty there.

    Sandy- Are you my sister? I sort of think you must be.

    Rebecca- You are welcome. You get it.

    Denise- What are you speaking of? I can't imagine anything you might do which would make me think less of you. Seriously.

    Jenny Woolf- It's never too late.

    Maggie May- You're right. No real heart bleeding there.
    But a decent story. I guess.
    I understand your confusion on red-headed actresses. Completely.

    Jaimie- Those sound like the real deal. But it's okay if you never tried them. Some people do not need to.

  18. My therapy. Just putting one foot in front of the other. Getting through the day. And loving that at the end of my day I can crawl into my bed and let blessed sleep claim me.

  19. I so wish we were, although yes, I think we may be anyway! x

  20. Syd- Is your back better? I do hope so. I wish I knew more about mushroom identification.

    Birdie- Keep doing it. The light will come again. I know it.

    Sandy- We are all related somewhere.

  21. Here's the difference between Mary Steenburgen and Andie MacDowell -- Mary Steenburgen can act.


    But Andie MacDowell has better hair.

    I liked "Freedom" but I must admit I remember virtually nothing about it.


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