All is well and the sun is shining, yesterday's rain dripping off cupped leaves. I did not go to the dentist yesterday, it was a simple (but not to me) matter of a prescription and that was taken care of and I went to the grocery store and the boys came out to play in the afternoon.
There are other things going on, but simply life and all is fine with my family, no worries.
Mr. Moon is supposed to call the vet today and please god, may it be so. Since we have made this decision, the air is heavy and the waters are roiled. Yesterday Buster got himself tangled up in the legs of the highchair and couldn't get out. The number of pees and poops I cleaned up in the house were beyond counting.
As relieved as I will be, as necessary as it is to release these dogs unto death, I am going to be uneasy until they are gone. It is a hard thing, to decide to take any creature's life, no matter how evident it is that the time is here and past here. And on a simply selfish level, I am beyond ready to have this done and then begin to put things more in order here, to throw away stinky couch pillows and wash rugs, to scrub floors.
And right now I need to get them up, steer them out of the door to the back yard to make a futile attempt to have them pee and poop back there instead of in the hallway, on a rug, in the middle of the dining room.
Peace. I want peace. I want for everyone to be at peace and feel safe and not be in pain.
And that is probably way too much to ask and yet, we do ask of it anyway.