Monday, August 25, 2014

A Day In Which It's Perfectly Believable That We Create Our Own Reality And I'm Too Tired To Create Much Of Anything

And suddenly, just like that, the weather has changed. I suppose there's some sort of cold front happening somewhere north of here but overnight the air got a little dryer, a little cooler, the light has taken on a different hue and scatters off the leaves as a stiff breeze blows the first ones off the trees. It is the fulfillment of the prophecy I made the other day when I said that one of these mornings I would wake up and by the slant of the light, the feel of the air, would know that autumn is coming.

A shock every year.

It sounds different. I swear, as if the cricket song is traveling through a different atmosphere. And I suppose it is.

I took my walk and there's still plenty of heat- I am sweated through. I have got to get my hair trimmed. It's doing no one any good, hanging limp and lank down to my waist as I brush it out every morning and then twist it up into a bun on the back of my head to keep it out of my way as I go through my day. I need to do that and go to the other dentist to further discuss this hole where my tooth was.
I need to just get this over with and do not have the heart today to do any of it. I mean, I feel fine, I just don't feel like interacting with the world on any sort of real level today. I should probably have a life which forces me to do so but I am so grateful I don't.

We watched Dallas Buyer's Club last night. Mr. Moon had never seen it and I wanted to watch it with him and it was hard to bear, even the second time around. Matthew McConaughey's eyes, his face, that face freed of almost all its flesh so that the eyes are huge and the way he uses them in that role...
And Jared Leto stunned me again with his performance.
So many parallels between the fight for drugs that actually helped with AIDS and the fight now for drugs that actually help with epilepsy and how the people sometimes have to take things into their own hands, fight the FDA and Big Pharma to bring the truth to light, to do the hard work of research, trial and effort- all there in that movie.

Anyway, you can't watch that movie and not have the ghost of it drift around you for a day or two. I feel strangely disassociated from this beautiful day and I don't like the way it feels. What to do but move on through it?

And so I guess I shall although part of me would be completely content to go back to bed, to fall into a dream-sleep which is what I feel as if I'm in now anyway.



  1. I have still not seen that movie but will get to it pronto. Thank you for the reminder. This is a strange and lovely post -- I think you captured what happens when the planet shifts, even down to how it affects us as tiny individuals.

  2. I feel the creep of fall. That darkness at 5:00 p.m. is hard. This year I'm going to invent some new ways to feel good about it. I swear.

  3. Yes, some days you just move through. No weather change here yet though I think maybe after today. We are having our hottest days now. It always amazes me too when the change comes seemingly overnight. And how often, at least here, it coincides with the equinox.

  4. My two cents is, if you can live without the missing tooth it's probably a healthier and easier option. But if you do get an implant, I have heard of people being happy they got it, despite the rigours of the operation.

  5. Days like this are meant for sitting still and doing only what you feel like doing, even if that means lying in bed and looking at the ceiling and letting the minutes tick by. i had a great weekend. but today is broody, mostly because my son is broody. i think we get infected with people's moods and we don't even know it is happening. hugs, sweet friend.

  6. That film is so powerful.

    I’ve watched it twice now and I still find it drifting into mind at the most random of moments throughout the day. Sign of a great film.

  7. I just ate a chocolate cupcake. This bears no relevance, other than even a shitty weird day can be made better if there is a chocolate cupcake lying around.
    This is why I have a fat roll.

  8. The light is different here too. A north wind has blown in and we are on the boat enjoying the cool temperatures. The pinched nerve in my back giving me some agony when I move a certain way. I feel the melancholy of fall creeping in here also.

  9. Elizabeth- If it can affect the bugs and the birds and the frogs and the crickets why shouldn't it affect us as well?

    Denise- Is this not why wine was invented?

    Ellen Abbott- It's odd how often that happens.

    Jo- But it does throw my bite and my chewing off. That's my main problem.

    Angella- Oh, how I hate it when someone I love is not "right." It does affect me so. I hope he comes out of his broodiness so that you can come out of yours.

    Wayne- I do agree.

    heartinhand- ONE? ONE fat roll. Get out of here.
    (Love you.)

    Syd- Back pain is horrible. I hope you can find relief. Agony is not good. It is...agonizing.


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