Saturday, August 30, 2014

Disaster Averted By Butt Cheek

I fell flat on my ass last night. Well, on the left side of my ass. It could have been bad.
I'd bought a large bottle of the sort of shower spray I like to use to put in the spray bottle I like and after I finished my shower last night I went to pick up the shower spray, realized it was almost empty and decided to step out of the shower and fill it up. I wrapped the towel around me, took a step off the rug, my foot slipped out from under me and I went DOWN.
One of those so-fast, so hard falls you just lay there and think, "Well. This could be bad."
After just a second I realized that nothing felt broken and that I still had use of all limbs and joints so I got up and filled the bottle and sprayed the shower and thanked my lucky stars and hoped that I wasn't internally hemorrhaging.
I guess I don't have osteoporosis yet because if I did, that hip would have been snapped. And possibly my elbow which also hit the tile. And I'm pretty sure I'm not internally hemorrhaging.
Everything feels a little jangled today, not bad, and I figure the soreness will set in tomorrow.

Jesus. I'm old.

So it's Saturday morning and we're moving slowly around here. Mr. Moon is heading to town to do about ten thousand things including picking up his new chair which is cause for huge and great excitement and if all goes well he can watch the football game from it tonight. Don't ask me what football game because I DON'T KNOW! I think FSU may be involved. It takes real concentration and focus to not know what's going on in the football world around here or maybe it's just complete denial and selective hearing. Whatever. I practice it.

The chickens are running around, Trixie is singing her little song, Maurice is napping after a long night of sleeping and then a little jungle hunting and bug pouncing. The humidity is 99% today and it's supposed to get up into the nineties, temperature-wise but I'd still like to work in the garden some. I think I might go to the library and the feed store, pick up some more books and chicken scratch. Too bad you can't do both of those things in the same building. That would be awesome. Maybe that's what we should do with the old historic store in Lloyd. Open a library and feed store.
Yeah. And when I say "we" I mean...someone else.

All right. I'm going to take this old bruised bag of still-intact bones and get moving with it.

Watch your step. Keep doing weight bearing exercise. And as my grandfather always told me, "Don't get old." To which I always replied (in my mind), I'm working on it.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. OMG. So glad you are ok.
    I'm pretty sure there's some sort of time warp when one falls. Maybe it's why one falls.
    Name of book and feed store: Feed Your Head

  2. Ouch, ouch! No! I HATE falling over. So glad you're ok, not so glad about the soreness. x

  3. Colourful bruise to follow? So glad nothing got broken.

  4. So glad you're ok, and I'm struck, again, in reading this post by how good-humored you are -- always.

  5. Denise- Good name for the fantasy store! Not sure that most of Lloyd's inhabitants would get it but us old hippies would and there are quite a number of us out here, living our hermetic existences in the woods.

    Jo- It's a weird feeling, knowing you are going DOWN and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

    Sabine- I am sure. I'll probably post pictures.
    Because I have so little shame.

    Elizabeth- As you well know by now it is sometimes a very dark shade of black humor.

  6. so glad your fall only produced embarrassment. I took one of those so fast so hard falls this spring and landed of my hip/thigh and wrist. I too lay there stunned while I did an internal assessment. whew! nothing broken but I wasn't too sure about the wrist. took a month for it to heal wearing a brace but I'm pretty sure it wasn't broken. and I do have osteoporosis though I haven't had a bone density check for probably about 8 years. falling is not a good thing at our age.

  7. I have a terrible fear of falling in the bathtub as it feels slippery and dangerous to me and as soon as I languish in hot water and bubbles I'm out of there quickly to dry with both feet on the carpet. I'm glad you're not hurt. Have you had a bone density test? I had one before I had surgery on my knee last year and I am A-okay. It was good to find out.

  8. Ellen- Eh, I wasn't so embarrassed. I had to go tell my husband about it as he was all the way across the house. "Did you hit your head?" he asked me. He looked so scared. "No," I said. "Just mainly my butt."
    I thought of you and your fall. I remembered how lucky you'd been, slipping on those leaves, I felt lucky too.

    Rebecca- It is a real worry. And I'm sure that you, like me, want to fly everywhere. We need to be careful. And I did have a bone density test a long time ago. It was fine then. It must be okay now or I surely would have broken something. It was a hard fall.

  9. Oh Mary, so glad you're ok! I know the feeling. I had one of those spills in the Walmart in Ithaca last weekend and I just sat there on the floor for a while till I could gather my jangled nerves. My family was elsewhere in the store and did not see me go splat! As I was going down though, I was aware of adjusting direction so the butt would get the most of it. It's such a strange feeling to fall. Glad our bones weathered it fine.

  10. Angella- It's like the most surprising thing, isn't it? To find oneself falling. Like we had no idea about gravity. It's humbling.

  11. Mary!!! Oh, the fear... it's the whole slow-mo, like your life is flashing in front of you and the fear of impact. I'm glad you didn't break anything, and if you share your bruises, wear them with pride, you survived! I'm so accident prone and clumsy, I can trip over my own shadow, not to mention the assorted dog toys hidden on the stairs. One of these days, my girls will come home to find me, having spent the day, at the bottom of the stairs flailed in a position I could only hope to have achieved in my prime, รก la Bridget Jones, minus the vodka, and being eaten by a Chihuahua rather than her more impressive Alsatians! Be kind to yourself, and let your lovely Mr Moon look after and spoil you x

  12. The title of this post is most awesome.

  13. Glad that you weren't hurt. Your bones must be good. All the walking and exercise helps with bone density from what my wife tells me. Here's hoping that I don't take a fall off the tall mare I'm riding.

  14. Sandy- Oh. I am fine. Just the tiniest bit sore. It distracts me from my regular pains. Which is sort of a relief. Is that crazy? Pictures will follow if they are decent and dramatic!

    Jill- Glad you liked it!

    Syd-It is true. Bone density is mostly affected by weight-bearing exercise. I believe this to be true. And yeah- don't fall off the horse.

  15. Yikes! I'm glad the fall apparently proved uneventful. (Well, except for the event of falling in the first place...)

  16. I am very glad you are not hemorraging or that you didn't break a hip. I have fallen so many times in the bathtub that I installed a grab bar. Though I am not old (and neither are you) I incredibly clumsy.

  17. I’m glad you’re okay Ms Moon!

    It’s strange how simple little falls get steadily more and more serious as you get older. I mean, I’m 25 but sometimes the smallest of tumbles (that I would have sprang up from just a few years ago) hit me like a sack of potatoes! That’s probably just me sounding ridiculous but it’s true. Reminds me of just how long life is!

  18. Steve Reed- It FELT eventful at the time but it is proving not to be so. Thank goodness!

    ditchingthedog- Grab bars are awesome!

    Wayne- No, doesn't sound ridiculous. Not at all. And honey, it only gets worse and worse.


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