Saturday, August 16, 2014

Tired Is Okay

You know you're tired when you go to make that shot of espresso which is hopefully going to keep you awake for the last hours of the day and you forget to put the damn cup underneath meaning that espresso runs all over the counter and just, of course, when you need it most there it is where you can't drink it but have to clean it instead.

"ASS!" I yelled. Which is odd. I don't know that I've ever used that word in quite that way. Was I addressing myself or just making a general statement on the situation?
Who knows? Even as I said it, I wasn't sure.

Yes. I'm tired.

When I woke up this morning I was feeling not very happy. No reason. This happens. Mr. Moon and Vergil and Jessie got an early start into town to work on the house and I stayed behind, being pissy and moany and then I went to town and to a nursery and how can anyone be pissy and moany at a nursery? I knew exactly what I wanted- a new pair of pruners and two pairs of work gloves- and I knew where to find them and I did. Fifteen seconds. Done. There were two cats in the garden center. I believe they may be the owners. One was black and white, one looked almost exactly like Maurice. I bent to give him a little ear-scratch and he gave me the same look that Maurice gives me.
"Do you really need to do that?" is what I would assume the look means.
They were having a dog wash and rescue at the nursery and I got to pat a big old white bulldog's head. He had one of those heads as big as a melon. Bigger than those "personal-sized" melons. If his head was a melon, it would serve four. I love petting bulldogs because you can just get in there and pat 'em hard. Their heads are made of titanium or something. No delicate pit-pats for a pit bull. Hell, no. He smiled at me, the way pit bulls do and it cheered me tremendously.

I checked out and the guy behind the cash register agreed with me that a new pair of pruners and new gloves was heaven on earth. This cheered me even more.

Then I drove to Jessie and Vergil's and started in on weeding and trimming. I don't think I've ever seen so much thorn vine in my life. I freed a camellia from it and felt as if I'd saved a life. That yard needs some intense work and love. You can't even tell what's in there, it's so overgrown with cherry laurel and other assorted crap plants and saplings. Anyway, after we ate our lunch of delicious Publix subs in the dining room and I drank about four quarts of water, my energy sort of drained but I went back out to work and was digging away in a bed that needs to just be torched when I looked up to see my dear friend Kati, whom I hardly ever get to see. It was such a treat! She highly approves of the house. Highly.
I finally folded just a little while after Kati left and this man

who is my old man, said he was exhausted and would be coming home soon too.
Of course, he's still not here and that was two hours ago. I just texted Jessie because he wasn't answering my texts, to ask if he was still there.
She texted back that yes, he was.
"Jaysus, Mary, and Joseph," I wrote back.

What am I going to do with this man?

Probably feed him some supper and love him to pieces.

One of the old hens laid today. They still get up in the nest and just sit there for a good long while. Then they hop off and there's nothing there. I think they're just taking little naps. But today, I found one of Ozzie's blue eggs though it is far less blue than her eggs used to be. Getting old is hell. The young hens get up on the nest and they just get the job done. Spring chickens. 

What a pretty little bowl of eggs. You'd think I'd be over the charm of them, wouldn't you? Well, I'm not. The daily miracle and I refuse to see it any other way.

Pretty eggs, a store-cat, a fine bulldog head to pat, new pruners, new gloves, deciding to make meat loaf and realizing I have ALL the ingredients I need including portobello mushrooms, a surprise little visit with a dear one, hanging out with Jessie and Vergil (and Melissa, who was there too) and my husband, all of us working together to make this move a reality, a son who calls to check on me if I don't post anything here every morning, enough espresso to make another cup.
These are all good things and I am glad I got my head out of my ASS enough to appreciate and even enjoy all of it even if it was 95 degrees out there and my forearms are now all lashed and gashed by thorn vines. This is Florida, where I choose to live and my daughter and her husband have chosen to live here now too.
As Matt Haig said on his blog today, "Let us enjoy the fruit before it browns."

Let us do that.

Amen and much love...Ms. Moon


  1. Lovely. There is such sweetness in meeting a nice dog, I think. On my daily dog walk, there are some lovely dogs, and occasionally some lovely people with them, and it's a nice contact to make, just right.

    I think it's so magical J+V have moved back close to you. Ashville sounded so great I'm half surprised they have. But it's wonderful!

    You did good work today.

  2. I could tell you were "off" this morning when you were posting comment replies, and I have absolutely no idea why I thought that. I think I can just read you by this point :)

    You've had a full and busy day. Have a martini and sleep very well.

  3. I could have that railing. I explained to my brother how to make one for an outside stairwell, and he just looked at me and built it from lumber. It's a beautiful railing, but it's not iron.
    Those windows, too. I had them here when we moved here, thirty years ago, and the first one I opened fell into the garden, so I had all replacement windows installed, and I don't know how the previous owners endured twenty below with the old windows, but they were beautiful.
    Your two will be happy there.

  4. Jo- I love dogs. Other people's dogs.
    And Tallahassee may not be nearly as cool (in any way) as Asheville, but it is where Jessie's sisters and brother and nephews and mama and daddy live. And Vergil is such a fine man to recognize all of that. I love that boy.

    SJ- You know me scary too well. Seriously. I love it. Love you, too. Vodka tonic tonight. I will sleep. Trust me. May you sleep well too.

    Joanne- They may have to replace the window but I do love them. Most of them have broken cranks and I believe in opening windows. We shall see. I hope and believe that this is a house where happiness can happen. We felt it when we first walked in. May it be so.

  5. I have mornings when I wake up grumpy. Not as often these days as I used to, but still sometimes. So I understand what you were talking about. Pisses me off to be grumpy for no reason. I am glad it didn't last too long for you today :)

  6. It DOES sound exhausting but productive and fruitful, too. I am so glad for you -- that your girl and her guy will be living so close!

  7. I was clearing thorn vines yesterday, too! (Blackberries, in my case.) I'm glad we're both in a position to enjoy what we have and pet some sturdy pit bull. :)

  8. the flood clean up made me this level of tired and we didn't lose half of what our neighbors lost. guess sometimes it's better to be shit poor.

    i hope j and v get into that cute house quick! i can't wait to hear about how the holidays are going to be set up!


  9. Greenhouses and nurseries always, always cheer me up. Have you been to Biltmore? That's a garden-cure for depression and anxiety right there.

    I love your wooden bowl. We have one like that and food just tastes better when it's sat in that bowl for a while.

    And totally agree about the zen-quality of patting a bulldog's head. They are so big and present. I have a big American Bulldog and she's the best girl. Just warm and THERE.

    Also, if anyone can make magic out of that yard, it's you! Please post progress pictures. :)

  10. Jill- Between the nursery and the dog and the sweat and dirt, I got cured up pretty fast. I was glad.

    Elizabeth- It doesn't even seem possible, does it?

    Steve Reed- I pulled at least a bushel of dewberry vines too. And you pet Olga on the head for me today, okay? I don't really need cheering up but the thought makes me happy anyway.

    Mrs. A- I feel so bad for y'all. And yep- the less you have, the less you stand to lose. Which is odd but very true. J and V will be moved in sometime in October. Can you believe it? I wonder where they'll put their Christmas tree.

    Chrissy- I never did make to the Biltmore. One of these days...
    I'm glad you have a nice bulldog lady. I've owned a few.
    My across the street neighbor makes wooden bowls from downed wood and gives me some. I love them.
    I will be posting pictures, I am sure. Today I am scratching chigger bites.

  11. Nice digs for Jessie and Vergil. I cannot stand too much work outside in the heat. I ride in the heat and did the push mower to cut the grass in the heat, but am exhausted afterwards. And then I take a nap. I am getting old I guess.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.