Monday, January 11, 2016

Night Is Falling

Feeling sad this evening, not even sure exactly why. The residual effects of feeling a great loss, even if it is not a personal loss? Quite possibly.

I didn't do a whole lot today. Took that good walk, did a few chores around here, went to the grocery and Costco by myself which was odd and a bit strange- no babies, no children, no daughters to crack jokes with. Just in and quick shopping for only what I needed, then out again.
I stopped by Lily's on my way home, of course. I had to see little Maggie on her fourth day of life. When I came in, Owen said, "Mer! Why are you here again? How many days are you going to come see us?"
"I don't know," I said. And I don't. I only stayed for a few moments. Long enough to hold that baby, cuddle her soft sweet body close to me, kiss those unbelievably soft cheeks. When I left, Owen was holding his sister. He loves her so much.

I kissed the two of them before I left and went to kiss Gibson. 
"I love you," he said. "No kisses."
"All right, then," I said. "I love you too."
"Okay," he said. "You can kiss me."
And I did. He smells like boy. As he should. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I think I remember you being blue after Gibson was born. All that excitement and then settling down with a thud. I wonder if we women have hormonal changes after the birth of other people's babies, especially grandchildren? Maybe so.

    Owen is going to be a wonderful big brother. One day a loving and gentle father. But he is little yet. Will you be blogging still when Owen becomes a father? ;-)

    Feel sad. It's okay to.

  2. You can just see the love ooze out of Owen for his sweet sister. So cute.

  3. That little family is so very lucky. I wish I could send my own sweet boy to hang out with them and soak it all up.

  4. I sometimes think after such big life moments afterwards there is a bit of an emotional slumps. All of those wonderful endorphins surge in big moments like new babies.

  5. I love that shot of Owen holding Magnolia. I too had my arm in a cast when I was four, holding my baby sister.

  6. What a beautiful shot of Owen and baby Maggie. May their relationship be as sweet for their whole lives --

  7. I think I understand the sadness. Sometimes I want to fully embrace a life changing experience my child is having, I want to be fully inside it, but really all I can do is stand aside and watch it happening, feeling joy for them, but sadness at the disconnection, which is just the way life is; they grow up and into their own lives and we have to release them to it, much as we want to hold them close and hold their babies close too. Do we ever stop mourning the stages past? Sometimes it comes back to us afresh, that yearning for the complete and total connection we had when they were small. Ah. Life. Love. Joy and sadness. We rock with it. Savor it. Let it be. It's what we do.

  8. It is a loss. I think we feel it even more because he was so willing to embrace otherness and difference - and communicate it - and it is extra-sad when such a huge chunk of that leaves this world.

  9. I have been in Ziggy Stardust land. A baby! Yay. Will read on.

  10. 37 Paddington's words resonate profoundly...exquisitely expressing feelings I recognise in myself.

    Your new baby granddaughter is a little cherub! Congratulations to you all!

  11. My son would not his grandmothers kiss him (or anyone else but his dad and me for that matter though once he did allow his pre-school teacher kiss him which shocked all of us, her included). They were both smokers so maybe that had something to do with it.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.