Friday, January 22, 2016


Yes, I am here! All is well in Lloydville. I went to Magnolia's appointment for her two-week well baby check with her mama and her brother today. The appointment was at 9:15 and we had to drop Owen off at school before that happened. I had told Lily that I might go with her, seeing as how the hour was so unreasonable and yet, also knowing that this would be her first day to have to get Owen to school on her own and deal with the other two children. I went through quite a bit of angst about it last night, in fact, saying things to Mr. Moon like, "She can do it by herself. She is a grown woman and a great mother." Etc.
And he kept saying, "Yes, yes. She can do it without you. There is no reason for you to go." This from the man who had taken Owen to school himself that very morning.
Anyway, when I woke up a little before six this morning and heard rain literally thundering down onto the roof, I determined that I would NOT go but of course I ended up going because I have to work these things out in my head. Is it a message to my daughters if I help them with things like this that I do not think they are capable of doing them on their own?
God. I hope not because in my heart of hearts I know that they are more than capable. Lily's ability to handle all three of her children at once astounds me and of course August is like a new limb of Jessie's which she has known all of her life would show up and she knows perfectly well how to attend.
Is it that I had so very little help when my children were babies and I know how hard it can be to do the simplest things like go to the grocery store with them and take them to doctors' appointments?
Is it guilt that I need to do the very best for them that a mother can do?

I have no idea but there was no way I was going to let Lily make that trip to town with Maggie possibly crying in the back seat and Gibson possibly fussing and in all that rain! And so I crossed the ponds in the yard and drove to Lily's and we took Owen to school. He always sits beside his baby sister in the back seat and gives her the pacifier if she wants it and does a very mature job of calming her if she needs it. I am most proud of that boy. I took his place after we dropped him off and we drove to town with Gibson saying, "Hurry, Mama!"
He loves the doctors' office (same doctor as the one Jessie takes August to) because there are books and toys and a playhouse, right in the waiting room! He sees it as a playground to enjoy.

He told me to knock on the door and ask if I could wash my hands. There is a play sink in the play kitchen in the play house. So I followed his instructions.
"Hello! I need to wash my hands," I said.
"You've come to the right place!" he said joyfully, flinging open the door.
Unfortunately, it was a bit small for me to enter to wash my hands so I sat back down to read the newspaper while Lily and Magnolia were back in the exam room. Before too long, the waiting room was filled with sick people of all ages. Gibson immediately made friends with a boy who joined him in the playhouse. I heard him say, "I'll ask my Mer," and then he came to the door, peeked out and said, "How old am I?"
"Three," I told him.
"Three," he announced to the boy.
The boy looked a bit peaked so I asked his father if he was actually sick.
"Yes," he said. "But nothing too serious."
"Could it be Strep?" I asked, knowing that it is going around with ferocity. My friend Kati recently got it and referred to it as a strepodemic.
"It could be," the father admitted and then he called his son to come back and sit with him and Gibson was sorely sad.
And it was not even the father at fault. As much as I love this doctor's office with its vastly differing cliental, they need a well-room for children. I should have just stayed with Gibson at the house but hindsight, as they say...
After the appointment (and Maggie is fine), we met Jessie at the mall which was bizarre but there is a Starbucks right by the kids' play area and so we all had our caffeine and watched Gibson play with the other children, some of whom probably are also sick, smearing their viral-and-bacteria-laden secretions on all of the play things but what are you going to do?

August is doing well, by the way, and feeling fine again.

After awhile, Jason met us there too. He had gotten sent home from work because he has had too many hours this week and I ended up taking his car back to their house to get my car because they wanted to go have lunch and I just wanted to come home.
Which I did. And then took a marvelous nap.

And so that's what I've been doing. More of the same-same, and glad to be doing it, despite my ever-present angst. Tomorrow we are going to go look for May a wedding dress and Lily and Jessie bridesmaid dresses. Mr. Moon and Vergil are going to start putting the metal back on the roof over the work they've done on it.

There is so much more I could discuss here including Sarah Palin and the speech she made the other night, the new theory I read about why so many Americans are supporting Donald Trump (he's the daddy they all want- "Because I said so. Shut up and go to bed."), the delicious curry and naan bread I made last night, the new LED light fixture my husband installed above the sink last night which is so bright that I've had to hang a bit of a curtain to diffuse it,

the way the new leaves of the begonia in the mudroom jungle look when the afternoon sun pours in, 

and how I hope that all of you affected by this huge snowstorm on the east coast are safe and cozy and that your power does not go out but that is enough and martinis are being involved and I need to go make a salad and cook potatoes.

Happy Friday to you all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I worry when you don't post. But I assumed you might still be resting. I am just glad you are okay and having your Friday night martini. All well in my Mary compartment now. I'm glad the babies are okay too.

  2. I know the push/pull of helping or not helping grown children. But the reality is that they can be capable as anything and still appreciate the extra pair of hands. And every moment you are in their lives strengthens the family love a little more. What I do is ask straight out, every so often - are you feeling I'm doing too much? too little? and trust them to be honest.

  3. I think it's great you're so willing and available
    to help with the littles. Many hands light work etc.
    If your daughters don't need/want it, I don't doubt
    they're perfectly comfortable saying so.

  4. Do you know what having a mother to help me out with new baby stuff would have meant to me? I don't even know how to quantify how that would have changed my life. Why would you second guess the value of that to your daughters? No.

  5. I do not know what I would have done without my mom and dad. They are the reason my kids have turned out so well and into functional members of society. If we think about it, parents and extended families used to help their children in olden times. People didn't move around the planet like they do now. Actually, my kids also enjoyed having aunts and uncles, great aunts and uncles, grandparents and even a great Nana. It surely does take a village to raise a child.

  6. glad to see your post tonight! Relieved, actually. How wonderful that your daughters accept your love and involvement. Your loving and nurturing nature just flows into their lives and the lives of your grandchildren and the best part is knowing that this love will flow into future generations long after we are gone, carried on in the same way you have done. It is too strong to fade........ Makes me tingle just to think about it.
    Susan M

  7. I am glad you are alive! That Owen is the most caring child. I too would have loved to have help when my son was small, I'm sure Lily appreciates the help. Gail

  8. I heard someone say once that two children feels like two children but three children feels like five. So I'm pretty sure Lily was grateful for your help. Especially now when all hands are taken by the babe in arms. Such beautiful babies they are too, including your radiant Lily.

  9. Beautiful photos of your daughters and their babies and your little grandson.

  10. Good lord that was a busy day! It sounds rich, too, in humor and love and grandchildren. I am always amazed at how much time you spend with your children and your grands -- you are all so blessed to have one another so nearby!

    The thing that got me through the Sarah Palin thing with Trump is Steven Colbert's take on it. The funniest, most brilliant bit I think I've ever seen on television. I think it's called The Material Girl is Back if you want to look it up.

  11. I wish my mother would have come to doctor's appointments. I asked her several times to be more involved. I would never in a million years have interpreted it as a comment on my inability to do it myself. I would have taken it as love and support.

    Babes is going to make curry and naan today. I'm looking forward to it so much!

  12. I loved catching up on your life. Your family is just growing and bursting at the seams with joy and love. I already do that thing where I wonder if I'm helping the right amount, or if I'm sending the message that my kids are incapable. They are 12 and 7. But I want them to know I believe they can do hard things, but also, I want them to know they can count on me if things are too tough. And for what it's worth, my mom lives too far away to help with daily appointment-type things, but if she wanted to come, I'd welcome the help, and mostly the company.

  13. when the twins were born and she still had the 1 1/2 year old, three babies, she was so determined to do it all herself that she wouldn't ask for help even though I was right next door. one day I could hear how overwhelmed she was ad knocked on the door saying please let me help. no! later in the day I told her I wasn't trying to rescue her kids from her, I was trying to rescue her from her kids. after that, she was more open to letting me help.

    kids and germs. they are little germ factories but it's how their immune systems develop

  14. I had no help when my kids were small, but that's how I preferred it. I was healing wounds through them, which Jada Pinkett-Smith says is a no-no, but what the hell do I care? Anyway. I also ride the wave of how much help is too much when it comes to the Grands. They manage, just like we managed.

  15. Don't fret about helping her, what you are doing is called good grandparenting. The world is a better place because you can do that.

  16. I have angst about germs. About driving through the rain. About a ton of things. It was really nice that you went with Lily.

  17. Well, bacteria are just a fact of life, I suppose. Especially when you're a kid. Gibson is durable!

    Sounds like you're having a very busy time in Lloyd! I'm always impressed you can find so much to say. Your blog posts are so wide in scope. I feel like I've got nothing these days.

  18. I have to say that your days remind me of when I used to work at a job. Now if I have something scheduled for the day, it seems a bit much. Loving the unstructured life. And rainy days are really good!


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