Saturday, December 26, 2009

So Let Me Ask You A Question

How do you censor yourself? Are there things that you really, really REALLY wish you could blog about but don't dare?
What holds you back? Your children? Your mama? Your in-laws? Your out-laws? Your conscience?
And what is it that you would love to blog about but can't bring yourself to put out there? Sex? Your doubts, your beliefs, your corniest loves? Do you really want to talk about romance novels? Your breasts?
Your vagina?
Your penis?
What you really think about God? Obama? Arugula? The raw foods movement? (It sucks. Why are people disrespecting our fire-discovering ancestors?) Bob Dylan's Christmas album? Bruce Springsteen's hair? The way your children can make you crazy?
The way your mama makes you insane by always wanting to know everything you have going on in your life, your soul, your heart and who tells you to be careful with that knife and to drive carefully?
Your secret crushes?
The mildew between the tiles of your bathroom?
Your eyebrows, teeth, cellulite? How much you love your lips, your hips, Gladys Knight and the Pipps?
Tell me, babies.
What do you wish you could blog about but can't?
What stops you?
And no. This does not mean I'll be blogging about my secrets. No way.
Because there are my children. My husband. My relatives. My husband's relatives. My mother who sent me this e-mail today:
hello isn't this fun? you can now e mail me. ruth
Ah yah. What fun.
What? Tell me.
I want to know.


  1. Oh I'll blog about anything, but What holds me back in physical conversations are people who get mad when I ask them questions that they have to think about. I tend to censor myself so that idiots who don't like to think don't beat me up.

  2. My Brain- Physical conversations are tough. Which is probably why I don't have them with people whom I know are going to say things that I'd have to answer with, "WHAT THE FUCK?" You know?

  3. Oh my gosh, I love you so much. I love the way you wrote this, the silliness, the truth, the rhyme, rhythm, the poetry. And then the line from your mother, Oh GAWD!
    Uh, I wish I could blog about so many more things. Not arugula though, that's about the only safe thing I CAN blog about.
    Honestly, I'd like to blog about being in a lesbian relationship for 10 years, breaking up, still living together, wanting to date men. There. I said it.
    So yeah, maybe I want to blog about penisis, though not my own, since you asked.
    Bleh! What are you doing to me?

  4. Penisis? Did I just write that? I mean Penises. No, I meant, ARUGULA.

  5. Hm, do you think I should delete this? What if someone from my blog comes over to your blog and...
    Oh who cares.
    I call the blog I wish I was blogging but don't dare, My Underblog (I think maybe my friend Kathy made that up).
    I sort of blog my underblog in your comments section.

  6. My father is sexist. My sister-in-law hurts my feelings. I love Obama. Sometimes my husband and I make each other unhappy. And, I refuse to share any of these things online because feelings change, but digital is forever.

    And, I got virtually bitch-slapped for making fun of Sarah Palin, so I'm avoiding politics in general.

    What can I say, I'm a pleaser.

  7. Bethany- Underblog away. And hell- if you want to blog about penises, then do it! They can be interesting you know.

    Nancy- I can understand why you would be a bit reticent to write about all of those things except for Sarah Palin. If someone virtually bitch slaps for writing honestly about her, you need to drop that person like a tick you found on your butt.
    Is that rude?
    Too bad. It's true.

  8. I avoid anything critical about my in-laws because my father in law reads my blog (he's "Lung cancer happens" on my blogroll, but shhhh, don't tell anyone :) ). But I mostly love them to bits, so that's not too hard. I guess I don't write much about dealing with my FIL's lung cancer either, cause I feel like that is kinda private to him, and his stuff to blog about, not mine. I suppose if/when he starts dying I will write about it then, but hopefully that won't be for many years.

    I don't say anything bad about a particular very good jewish friend of mine who also reads my blog, even though I could write posts and posts about him/his beliefs/ being pissed off about his beliefs/ dealing with a friendship with someone whose beliefs I massively disagree with. But I very much value his friendship, and he is one of my oldest friends who has been there for me through all sorts of crap despite our disagreements, so I don't.

    Basically I try not to write critical things about people (who I know IRL) who read my blog cause I don't want to hurt their feelings.

    Also I avoid talking about israeli politics, because the one time I did about 50 bajillion people jumped down my throat and I just don't have the patience/energy to deal with that. I don't care enough about it to fight with a bunch of people.

  9. I'd love to blog about the self-righteous people I know in my neighborhood, but for obvious reasons I can't. Every now and then I feel like blogging about my husband, but I just can't go there (and I'm not talking good stuff!). The urge to go public is never very big for me -- the urge to be private is bigger, I guess. I do think it would be fun to have an anonymous blog where everyone could just post secrets and stories that you don't want anyone to know about. I saw a book that did that, and it was wild and a little scary.

  10. oh also I guess I don't really blog details about my relationship with my husband because that is for us, not for the rest of the world.

  11. The Sarah Palin comment was anonymous, of course. What a tough guy.

  12. I'll blog about many things, including Obama whom I'm NOT liking so much of late.

    I have trouble sometimes allowing my full personality out of the bag though.

  13. I sometimes throw in a 'protected' post in about my babymaking hopes and plans because no one in my family is supportive of the single mom by choice thing. And although they don't have my blog address, the world is small, and there is always a chance someone who knows someone could stumble upon me.
    But I confess, feel like a fraud doing the protected post thing.

  14. I normally steer clear of anything related to my relationship with Ben's father because really, that's between he and Ben and Dave and I and not for public consumption. It's not that I wouldn't WANT to talk about it, but I would feel like I was letting people see something they don't need to see.

    And my son doesn't need the world to know what an ass his piece of shit father is. He'll have years to learn that himself.

    I've never found a really diplomatic way to talk about it because the feelings are so angry for me, so I can't go there. It just doesn't seem fair and it seems wrong. And if something seems wrong, I don't blog about it.

    Similarly, I don't often talk about my mother or my parents alcoholism because I don't know what I can really say about it that would help anyone or make me feel any better.

    Everyone deserves secrets. Even Aunt Becky.

  15. ooh someone's comment reminded me- I didn't blog about me and B trying (and failing) to conceive for about 3 months earlier this year because I didn't want people (especially my in-laws) to know in case it didn't work. Which it didn't, partly because I didn't give enough time for coming off birth control and my hormones being all out of wack so I only got my period once in the 3 months we were TTC. (we have stopped trying for now because I'm hoping to start a new job next September, so the timing would be bad, we're going to start again probably next july)

  16. I would, just for once, write about MY LIFE without anyone saying that I should get off the cross because Jesus needs it! So, now you have given me that chance, then here it all is. I was widowed 4 years ago when I was just 26 years old, so I moved back into my parents home, which happens to be a Castle on the Border of England and Scotland. Last Christmas, I lost my Father to Alzhimers and my Mother died 4 days later from a massive stroke. I lost my brother to Leukaemia and my sister waiting for a kidney donor, so that was all of my Family gone within the space of 10 weeks. For a long time I just shut myself up here, but then I broke my ankle, so, looking for something to do, I started blogging. But, I've been called many things, most of them not very nice, so I mainly stay quiet about myself. I have a degree in art and design, but got mixed up with a bit of journalism along the way. I sat in on two interviews with Heath Ledger as a junior, the last being just 6 days before he died. I'm one of these people who believe that his death was faked, and I have done a lot of research into this. If you read back to my very early posts, you can read some of this, but I just learned to stay quiet about it.
    Gosh, you have given me an idea for writing my own post about this! But, I think that I'd better stay quiet now!

  17. Oh, and can I just add that I am related to the singer, Donovan! My Grandmother and his Mother were sisters!

  18. i pretty much say what i have to say, however i try to use things that are non-traceable as far as when i talk about work for the sake of common sense.

    my future husband (in about 50 hours now)also blogs and we link our stuff together occasionally. i dont think i would post our dirty laundry out of respect to him unless it was something that had a funny resolution that we both agreed upon (because it is his life too)

    as far as people agreeing with me or not, very few people IRL have ever been concerned with my feelings, esp in my family so i dont feel bad calling things as they are when it comes to things of that nature. if they dont like it they can suck it, to quote the great kathy griffin.


  19. I'd blog about just how much I would rather have the life that I had 10 years ago. So sad, even to type it in a comment... so I avoid blogging about it in general and try to stay positive.

  20. I wish I could blog about my ex-boyfriend, my current boyfriend, and a certain friend that can annoy the living heck out of me.

    But I don't know who will find my blog and read it!

  21. Oh me, oh my
    every day is a lie.

    (Just trying to keep the rhyming thing going.)

    There is so much I don't blog about. Most of the important things really.

    I had an underblog for a while, but haven't written lately because I'm learning to let things out more in the real world. I'd blog a lot more about the current state of my relationship but that would hurt feelings. Bethany knows all my secrets...she's my underblog now.

  22. I'm lucky if I get to post anything! Just seems to be no time to think through a subject the way I like to, enough to write about it.

    Ultimately, I'd like to have several blogs. I like the idea of having a blog about a particular subject, and have a little something each day... I'd like to do that when I begin coaching, and what is stopping me?? Fear of commitment. (Refer to opening paragraph please!)

    Wow, you've really opened a can of worms with this one Ms Moon!
    xo pf

  23. The comings and goings with chemo.
    What I really feel like some days when I go into that dark hole because it is a passage to hell, not the one made up by religion, but the personal one and it may bring sadness or panic to someone who loves me, and who may read it.

    Otherwise I have been known to push some buttons and although never done on purpose - who knew before my blog had to go private thanks to the darn Korean pornographers harvesting addresses, who read my blog? - it was like giving permission to the world to read my journal and if they were bothered by what I wrote, all they have to do is to stop reading. No secrets, I guess. Just a healthy dosage of "discretion is the better part of valor" here.

  24. AE, I love you no matter what. I have a tough skin, so feel free to criticize! I really welcome it.

    Oh and if you're not talking about me...uh, please disregard :S

  25. Ms. Moon I don't know how you do it. So many posts in a couple of days. But what a treat!! I can't wait to read them all.
    There are a lot of things I wish I could blog about, yet don't. Good manners keep me on my toes. Also, the older I get the less I like to dwell on negativity or deal with sour people.
    Life's too short, and I aim to enjoy mine fully!

  26. Ok. I admit, I would probably talk more about my vagina.

    And sex. And being fat.

    And I've tried to stop complaining about my husband.

    And I got in trouble with a friend for making gay porn jokes too much, that was sad, so I've cut back on that...

    The posts I write and don't post are the self loathing adolescent ones. And sometimes the grief ones.

    There's too much that just ain't entertaining. Though... if you read back, you can find some of them... :)

  27. oh my ms moon..what have you done to me..i read this post last night and thought i llcoment it today because i was already very tired...and then..i dreamed about it all night my dream i was sitting in your kitchen and you were cooking something you called a pepperpot??? and i was sitting at your tanble with a llllloooonggg piece of paper and a writing fetaher and tried to get down all the thousands of things i dont blog about..waaaahhh!!!

    so lets see what i dont blog about...first of all i dont blog about a lot of work relatet things..which is mostly i m not allowed too until a certain date...then i dont blog about my parents...because its too complicatet...i love to blog about my kids but have to keep that anonymously because..well...its not easy with some of my real life readers...

    i wish i could blog more about me...the real me..about how the landscapes of my heart and mind are changing...but the real that what you are looking for when you come to the pussy shack?

  28. I would never ever blog about work b/c we need a roof over our heads and I would pledge allegiance to the GOP rather than be thrown on the streets with small children.

    I don't blog about my family (beyond my hubby and kids) b/c we're New England Puritan stock that likes to keep the skeletons closeted.

    All my inner thoughts and mullings I keep in a journal. I find I don't need this info to be public to benefit from working it out in my head and coming to my own resolutions about it.

    When I or the people in my journals drop dead, Doubleday is more than welcome to splash it onto the public domain.

  29. Ms. Eden- Yes. Those are all private things and although some would probably write about them publicly, I would not either.

    Sandra- And isn't that funny? Maybe you'll baby-step your way towards doing that eventually.

    Rachel- I don't see that there's anything wrong with protected posts. Sometimes you have to get things out and that doesn't mean you want everyone in the world to know about it.

    Aunt Becky- That makes sense to me. I hate dirty laundry in public. I mean, tongue-in-cheek gentle chiding is one thing, putting out the anger is another. I commend you on that.

    Alice In Wonderland- Honey, I think you need to write a book and do it now!

    Miss Alaineous- You have always struck me as being very truthful and ballsy and I love that.

    Jill- Well, once in a while you could...

    Melissa- And you did! I'm proud of you.

    Grasshopper- And that is why we have best friends.

    Ms. Fleur- That sounds like a good idea. Go for it!

    Ms. Allegra- I think that boils down to the fact that you do not allow yourself to complain. A little bit would be okay, you know. We would still love you so very much.

    My Brain- I hope the message was received.

    Angie- Well, you are not quite like me. Complaining is always enjoyable for me. I am a mean bitch at heart.

    Jo- So you censor yourself in aid of entertainment? Sometimes, at least. That's interesting. I probably do that too.

    Danielle- What a lovely dream! I think there is a dish called a pepperpot but I don't know what it is. And I don't know what it is when I come to your blog, either, but yes, I suppose, to discover the person who want to share with the world, at least.

    Geeksinrome- That is very understandable. Very prudent. And journals will never go out of style for all of those reasons.

  30. I try to stick to the idea that other people's stories are off limits. Not mine to tell.

    I blog on one topic as honestly as is possible. In that area being open has helped beyond measure.

    We are happier because of it.

  31. my brain- it's not you! :) Nowadays I agree with most of your beliefs I think. :) It's another mutual friend of ours though- I think you know who, cause really, I only have 2 old friends like that (apart from my brohther), and you are the other one. :)

  32. i do not write about doubts and fears i have in relationships because my partner reads my blog. and while i do write about my diapointments with family, i do not write nearly as much and as honestly as i would like. thats why i also have a personal private blog. just for me. just for me to get my thoughts and emotions out. often its irrational any way and so it would do no good to anyone else if they read the words on my personal blog.

    another thing i would write more about is questions about my own mental health and sanity. but i dont want people to misunderstand and think im ill and in need of help psychiatric help.

    besides my mental health, i would also discuss more about my physical health, but i dont want people to worry about me, or to get grossed out if i go in to detail with things that are wrong.

    hmmm. yes. yes that is it.

  33. the list of things I won't blog about is far greater than those I will. Well, maybe not true, but what I try to do when writing about anything is write about how it affects ME. Lots of things affect me, but I try to be respectful of what is mine to share and what isn't, to take my own inventory so to speak. I won't write about sex other than in reference to it, because that is very personal and private and none of anyone's business. People know what I do as a job but I don't write much about it because it could get me in legal trouble. I try not to write things that I would be ashamed or embarrassed to say out loud to a friend. I write how i feel, but I don't write much about how sometimes my kids drive me to anger so deep that I have to leave the room, I don't blog about those moments where I really just don't see the point in getting up again-partly because I don't want CPS to come investigate me or have someone stop by with a straitjacket, but also partly because those moments are just that-moments. WE all want to die sometimes, I think, want to hurt our kids at other times, slash someone's tires, whatever-but most of us don't DO it, we just FEEL it. So I try to keep those moments more provate-if I need to write, I will often write and delete.

  34. Daddy X- And what a great job you have done! You have made so many of us happy this past year.

    Tanya- I completely get that.

    Kori- Mmmmm. I believe every mother could and can relate to that.

  35. AE,

    Oh! My bad. XD I think I know who you're talking about. I suppose I'll just ask you in person, lol.

  36. I try to post as though I'm writing in a journal, or telling a good friend about my day. I probably get too specific about my job because I've had moments of panic at the thought about one of the partners, or a patient, reading my stuff.

    I, too, was bitch slapped by an anonymous commenter who was offended by my potty mouth. I posted my email and invited her to be bwave and state her name

    Sometimes I want to cuss like SB. But I tame it so as not to offend those with a cleaner vocabulary

  37. I would like to blog about things in the past I only hint about. Because they would be devastating in the full light of day. I also would like to be breathtakingly honest. But I'm too concerned about offending. My blogging is truthful but only a shadow of the real.

  38. Michelle- I am too old to care what people think of my rich use of profanity. But I can understand worrying that a patient or, maybe one of my children's friend's mothers might read. Dang. It's complicated. The one place where we should be allowed to be ourselves and still, we tame it to make it palatable.

    Glimmer- "My blogging is truthful but only a shadow of the real."
    That was beautifully put.

  39. I don't have a whole lot of self-censorship going on on my blog, if you haven't noticed. Laugh.

    I simply do NOT give a shit.

    I do try to stay clear of talking about my workplace very much for Dooce-ian reasons.

    Love you.

  40. What I wanted to say, I don't even dare put here.

    I pretty much DO write about everything on the blog, even when I know it makes me seem like a whiney little bitch. Maybe I shouldn't.

  41. I am forbidden to talk about The Husband's family. I got drunk a few pages ago and wrote a nasty piece about his brother. This is after he pretended to be a tenant and said he was going to get me fired and said some very means things about me and my marriage.

    I had no idea that he and my MIL were reading my new page. It all blew up. Big time. Even though I have moved again, I just keep my damn mouth shut. As much as I would love to vent, it is easier on my marriage if I don't...


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.