Thursday, December 17, 2009

Morning Face

Let's have truth in advertising here.
The other night when I took that glam shot of me with my hair down, I was in a good mood. I'd just gotten home from the Opera House, and I sat down and took that picture. I wasn't wearing make-up so it wasn't entirely fake. I mean, it IS a picture of me and how I looked for one happy millisecond of one night of my life.

Well, today's another day. This is how I look this morning:

I overslept. Why? I do not know. Because I am lazy. And then when I did get my lazy ass out out to the chicken coop, we know what had happened. Miss Betty's head had been pecked again and I'm not even posting a picture of that because it's just so sad. She is, as we speak though, on the nest and laying me an egg. My heart breaks for Miss Betty because she is a darling chicken and I, the very bad chicken mother, keep letting her get hurt.

Frankly, I want to get rid of Sam, as I have said. He's wearing those hens OUT. Betty is the only one he pecks, but he's got all the hens' tail feathers messed up from grabbing on during the act of love.


Anyway, while I was letting Miss Betty out the other chickens were rushing me as if they hadn't eaten in a decade and they always have food but they want me to, I don't know, rearrange it, I guess. So I did that and gave them fresh water and the whole time they were trying to get out of the coop and acting insane and then I noticed that two more of my neighbor's chickens had escaped their fence and are now pecking around my yard, meaning my garden is going to be gone soon. My neighbor has dozens of chickens as well as goats and donkeys and a turkey and I don't know what all. And her yard, where the animals live, is completely and utterly devoid of any sort of growing thing and god knows a bug doesn't have a chance in hell over there so those chickens look at my yard and say, "Hmmmmm."

And there you go and before you know it, this whole two acres is going to be a fucking chicken ranch and look like her yard, which is sort of like the Sahara desert. I can't catch her damn chickens. They're feral and scrawny and run like the wind. I need to call her up and say, "Caroline, come get your damn chickens," and she will. She'll probably rope them with a lariat or throw a net over them because she's tough and she knows how to deal with animals. It all just seems overwhelming though, the thought of Caroline tromping through my yard, yelling at her chickens. And then they'll just jump back over the fence.

So that's the chicken story for the morning and I have to get out there today and clean out the coop and the hen house because it's nasty.
You can write your name on any piece of furniture in this house, too, and that's another thing I haven't attended to.
Hell, Jessie and I went to town yesterday and we bought a few presents. A few. That was actually fun, rummaging through the antiques/old stuff store and she sat and played a cello while I picked up and considered many items.
So at least I've begun.

And yesterday, in yoga, an entire novel appeared to me and I was so excited I came home and wrote for about an hour and it was flowing, going, towing my fingers along with it and then I had to put it away, save it to the desktop so I could go Christmas shopping and today- well- I have so much to do. And Owen is coming this afternoon and as we all know, times stops when he's here and I am nothing but arms for him and kisses for him and you can forget getting anything at all done, up to and especially a novel that starts out, "He didn't mean to rape her."

Happy jolly holidays to YOU too.

But, as Jessie said this morning when I started listing all my faults and defects and all the things that needed doing and how lazy I am, "Why list all the negatives?"

So here's a postive:

That's my soap, all cut up and aging nicely. I think I went a little crazy with the amount of rosemary and also oatmeal and rose buds I put into the various mixes. Well, live and learn. It's SOAP not SOUP and some of us need to learn the difference. There is some of Kathleen's soup in there too and it is perfect. I washed with my rose and oatmeal soap last night and when I went to bed, Mr. Moon couldn't stop telling me how good I smelled, so perhaps all is not lost. It certainly feels good.

So that's a postive and so is this:

Two hens scratching under the loquat tree and for some reason, that just makes me happy. Those are my fine, fat hens and they wanted (demanded) to be let outside this morning and so I let them out and now they're busily scratching around the yard. It's so funny how the cats just look at them with what could be terror in their eyes. I had worried about that because my cats do hunt and bring me squirrels and moles but they sure don't seem to have the balls to attack a chicken which shows that they are at least mildly intelligent.

So here I go, off to attend to laundry and chicken coops and furniture and family matters and that's what it's like in Lloyd today. Jessie's here and has been hanging out for a few days and that surely makes me happy too. "I can't even remember sleeping when I'm here," she says and that's another positive thing. I love it that she can lay her head down and rest so deeply that she doesn't even remember it.

And oh yes! Hank is coming out today with a friend from out of town and I'd forgotten that and that will be lovely, too. I'll have my son AND my grandson here and maybe a daughter because I don't know when Jessie is going back to her exciting life in town where she lives. She complains because when she comes to Lloyd she just forgets to leave. Mean Aunt Jessie. She makes me so happy.

As do many things and I am trying to remember that and trying to remember not to beat myself up all the damn time and trying to figure out why I do it and hell, I need to just quit all the worrying and the wondering and go out there and start pitchforking the fucking chicken shit and get on with it.

I'll take a shower with lovely soap before I go pick up Owen and there you go- another day of chores and joys and getting dirty and getting clean and if that's not life, I don't know what is.


  1. Oh Darlin,

    I'm sending a hug from across the fence. Will call you in a little while.
    Much love,
    xo m

  2. I still think you're lovely in the photo, even without being all duded up.

    I'd give Sam's mean ass the boot. Fucker. (Literally.)

    Hug and kiss Hank for me for the card, would you? I'd do it if I were there.

    Love you my dear Ms. Moon.


  3. I think this is going to be my mantra, I may need to have grasshopper Kathy photoshop it into some sort of pretty thing I can hang by my desk: "go out there and start pitchforking the chicken shit and get on with it."
    Loved all these details. And your first line is wonderful. Well, you know what I mean. Grabs you, makes you want to keep reading.
    I love what Jessie said about why list the negatives too.
    Oh and that soup/soap, it makes me SO happy just to look at all those delicious chunks. Lovely, perfect, holy. Yum. If I had a tub of that I would just wrap them all in pretty paper, tie with twine, print out some lables and voila, Christmas done.
    Thanks for making me happy every single day.

  4. oh yeah, me too, I think you look fantastic every which way.

  5. Another day of chores and joys and getting dirty and getting clean...


  6. mmmmmm-I can just smell that soup, I mean soap, that you made. It inspired me to try making some!

    Thanks for a wonderful blog post, chickens and all.

  7. You are lovely, as are the rest of your photos, and that soap looks gorgeous.

  8. Oh my god, the soap!! It's so cool! Like Lush, one of my favourite shops.

  9. Everyone else has alread ysaid the things that come to mind for me, except CHICKEN.SOUP. Sending you hugs.

  10. Ms. Moon, I am so excited about the novel that hit you in yoga. Is it in your head enough that you spin it around when feeding chickens, reprimanding Sam (tough chicken dumplings?) and doing all the other chores except of course loving on Owen? Write! Let the hour go by and be in that other world. I always blink when I come out of that world. Suddenly it is so bright and real.

  11. I also think you look lovely no matter what. Enjoy your Owen and your hank and mean Aunt Jessie too. Have a great day, Ms. Moon!

  12. @ ms moon

    you should see me when i crawl out of my cave after a night out and too many martinis..compared to that you look as fresh as the morning dew on your rose buds..:-)

    oh the first glanze i thought it were some delecious edable floridian candy...:-)

    or maybe goat cheese from greece..:-)

    @ jo

    f***, mini loves lush much...:-)

  13. You're beautiful, still, even without the smile.

    I saw this and thought you might get a chuckle out of it...

  14. Ms. Fleur- I am good. Busy and good.

    Ms. Bastard- I will pass on the hugs and kisses. I will DO IT!

    Bethany- Damn, girl. You are SO sweet. Thanks. Always.

    Stephanie- And that is enough some days, isn't it?

    Elizabeth- You should make it. It's not hard and it's fun. But messy sometimes. Soap messy? It can be.

    Deb- You're silly. Thank-you for saying such sweetness.

    Jo- It's pretty amazing.

    Kori- I'm thinking. If I could just talk Mr. Moon into killing and cleaning the damn bird it would happen.

    Cinda- I am very good at beginnings. Middles, not to bad- endings (finishing?) not as good. I will try.

    Ms. Dish- I am so far!

    Danielle- Oh stop it. And yes, sometimes I want to eat my soap.

    Ginger- Ha! Good one!

  15. All of the above, Darling! And that darn Sam needs to be adopted out. Post him on craigslist. Surely someone wants a bad rooster. And when you figure out how to keep your neighbor's chickens out, give me a hint on how to keep my neighbor's cat off my screened porch. He wanted in so badly that he jumped right through the screen and tore it off the other day. Seems to think my chair is his throne. I think we have a cat leash law, but get real. I know! We can have a Christmas feast of roasted Sam and the cat. ;)

  16. Hmmm, edible soap. I see a whole new colon cleansing marketing opportunity being born.

    D, we all love Lush. But still. Mini must be one sweet smelling little gay child :)

  17. Oo, meant to say, I like the idea of a truth in blogging morning face meme going around. I will if you all will...

  18. Oh Lady! I do love your writing. Inspires me no end. And I just have to comment... You are beautiful in the morning, too. Your sexy photo (with your hair down) stopped me in my tracks: Sexy Sixty. Well, yes. YES! This does not go away just because we think it does! Tuesday I turned 61, kind of a shock, but hay! And this morning I awoke to a whole ramble of negativity, which I took to the Morning Pages and let'er role, get it out of here, go sit in the corner or under the stove, just away for now. Then, my husband sat down with me, we talked for a few moments, and then... ta taaa!

    Looks to me like being our REAL selves is the key to sexy beauty. You are awesome at this, and inspiring all of us who drop in. Thank you.

    PS: IF Sam does not lay off a bit, isolate him for awhile. This would give Betty a rest. You can also isolate her, but if the other hens are not pecking her she is ok. I also read that pecking is the result of too much "energy" in their food, so make sure to not give them hardly any 'scratch' which is full of corn(too much energy).

    Write on!!! xoxoLC

  19. To me you still look good in that picture Mrs Moon. Wonder why he pecks poor Betty? I don't know a thing about chickens so if I lived next door, mine would probably be migrating over to your side of the fence as well.... hope you enjoy your day oh, and I've got furniture like that in this flat...

  20. You make some pretty soaps. I love the way you like having your children around. I wish I felt that welcome anywhere outside my own house. Anywhere. And I wonder why some people have that welcoming gene and some were born without it. I can't imagine not having it with my kids forever.

  21. Oh, and I have TERRIBLE morning face. It's as if my features rearrange themselves overnight.

  22. That's a hell of an opening line. I'm intrigued.

  23. The new novel is so exciting. The rough chicken sex, not so much. I'd get rid of any man that can't treat his hens right.

    Your soap has me drooling. I love the idea of rose petals preserved in the soap. We have shrub roses that I save petals from every year, just to let the fragrance linger, but it always fades. Once I tried to distill some of the essence, and make rose water, but it was a failure. I'm going to be thinking about soap for my next grand project, thanks.

    So glad things are looking up. And you look just fine in both pictures. It's all about perspective. From where we sit, you are lovely. You just don't know it yet!

  24. I would have sworn that was cheese.

  25. Lopo- I have missed you! Where are you? Sorry about that damn cat. You need a dog! Good suggestion about Craig's List.

    Jo- Colon cleansing is not a concept I am down with. Sorry. But yes- I think EVERYONE should post a morning picture. I would love it!

    Swallowtail- I think it's probably just about as easy for us to think of ourselves as beautiful now as it was when we were twenty something. Maybe more so because we know what beauty is.
    As to Sam and Betty- I do isolate Betty every day. I take her out to let her roam the yard and sometimes other hens come out to roam with her so she is not alone.
    And no more scratch? They love their scratch. But I could try that.

    Technogram- I think he pecks her because she's the tiniest chicken of all. I'm sure it has something to do with genes. He wants his genes to be carried on by the biggest and strongest hens. Or something like that. Really, I'm clueless. That was just a theory.

    Mwa- I LOVE having my children around. They make me laugh.
    And yes- our features do rearrange themselves as we sleep. What's up with that?

    Nancy Campbell- I"m sort of intrigued as well.

    Mel- Oh. Thank-you so much.

    Daddy X- And you know what? I would LOVE to learn to make cheese. I suppose I need some milk-producing animals though. Chickens are notorious for not giving milk. Man. If you could create an animal that gave milk AND eggs- well, the mind boggles.

  26. Great idea, morning photo and then another one after we've had our coffee and are all bright-eyed and caffeined up!

    Warning -- I am MEAN pre cup of coffee.

  27. Magnificent earthy piece, chicken shit,pecking order of chores, and all.How can you possibly judge yourself lazy? I need a nap after reading your post alone.
    I used to help an old lady who ran an animal shelter, under much duress always raising money to meet regulations, had a house full of animal shit, cages, and rumpled blankets- she slept wherever she crashed at the end of a day. Well into her 80s we gathered enough to build her a real shelter but she had such a variety of beasts that she still kept a menagerie in the house. She had a visiting vet, but did most of the healing herself with home remedies- there was no other choice. She was known for turning rowboats into ice breakers to singlehandedly rescue dogs fallen through the ice. big ass this woman had...huge, and she could stand in the bow and rock that boat through 4inches of ice. She must be gone now but I still see the giant sign I made her out in front of the old place when I drive by every 5 years or so.
    Bless you for your love of all living creatures, big and small.

    xoxo Charlie

  28. Glimmer- I am mean even after a cup. It takes me a while.

    Charlie- I have always had a strange perception of myself. A quite negative one, of course. I don't know why but I do.
    That was a beautiful story and I am so glad you told it. I love the idea of the big-assed old lady, inching her way through the ice in her boat to rescue dogs. What a woman!


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.