I am unsettled and disquieted this morning. I am just back from my walk and my joints are screaming, every inch of all the miles I walked this week telling its own bitchy little story in my body.
I actually got on the scale this morning. First time in weeks. I have a HUGE scale phobia. I can go years without getting on a scale. I'm exactly where I was three weeks ago which, sigh, I guess is better than being up a few pounds. It's so discouraging.
You know what I hate?
I hate those "how to lose weight without really trying" tips.
Like- eliminate soft drinks and fried food from your diet.
Soft drinks? Seriously? Who drinks soda? I don't even drink diet soda any more so forget that one too. I might have four diet Cokes a year. Maybe.
Fried food the same. Almost never. I'm not eating desserts except for the occasional Weight Watchers ice cream bar and not even one of the high points ones. I'm drinking a lot less beer. A LOT less. Red meat hardly once a week. I don't snack on chips and I'm avoiding processed everything.
But. I'm not fooling myself. I've gotten sloppy. I've been eating some mixed nuts. Not a lot, but obviously, too many. I've gone out and had a piece of pizza when Jessie and Vergil were here. The place we went advertises their slices as being "as big as your head." Bigger than my head, in fact. Still, I took off a great deal of the cheese and didn't eat the whole thing. But again- it's the little things you add up over a day, a week, a month. People don't realize this when they want to lose weight. They want to think that their sins are tiny and won't matter. But they do. And I'll tell you something- at my age, it's harder than it ever was. I should probably just go completely vegan or something. Become entirely plant-based.
No. I'm not giving up yogurt. I can give up cheese but dammit, I am not giving up yogurt. Or my monthly pork chop.
I don't know. I am unsettled. I am disquieted.
The boys are coming around two this afternoon. And when their mama comes to pick them up this evening, I'll give her supper. Mr. Moon is going to the hunting camp in Georgia for the weekend. I might go see a movie tomorrow. I am going to try and get the garden ready to till in preparation for the fall garden. I am looking forward to my winter lettuces. Every fucking bag or plastic container I buy of salad greens is already half nasty by the time I get it open. It's probably stupid to try and eat fresh lettuces in summer here. Definitely not seasonal. At one point in his life, Billy Bob Thornton lived for months on one can of tuna and a package of Twizzlers a day. He ended up in the hospital. He has issues. Don't we all? The human body wants to continue to live and will take whatever you give it and try to make it work for as long as it can.
It's amazing that way.
I am constantly amused by the new rules we make up to attempt to believe we can live forever. Go gluten-free or fat-free or meat-free or sugar-free. Whatever. Whatever you want to do, okay, there's someone out there who will tell you it's the right thing to do.
Or the wrong thing. Either one.
I know a woman who did that cave man diet. She got colon cancer and still thought it was a great idea. She probably would have gotten colon cancer anyway.
I was behind a woman at Publix in the check-out yesterday. She was buying a whole lot of Activia yogurt and not much else. She was thin and looked healthy. Maybe Jamie Lee Curtis is right. The E2 diet is new. It's all about how cheese is addictive and how we need to be vegans in order to prevent not only heart disease but also cancer and Alzheimers. You have to give up fats, too, including olive oil. Really?
They're probably right.
I wish I had a bacon and tomato sandwich with mayonnaise right now.
Maybe it would resettle and undisquiet me.
I doubt it.
Happy Friday, y'all.