Friday, September 14, 2012

Sort Of About Food

I am unsettled and disquieted this morning. I am just back from my walk and my joints are screaming, every inch of all the miles I walked this week telling its own bitchy little story in my body.

I actually got on the scale this morning. First time in weeks. I have a HUGE scale phobia. I can go years without getting on a scale. I'm exactly where I was three weeks ago which, sigh, I guess is better than being up a few pounds. It's so discouraging.
You know what I hate?
I hate those "how to lose weight without really trying" tips.
Like- eliminate soft drinks and fried food from your diet.
Soft drinks? Seriously? Who drinks soda? I don't even drink diet soda any more so forget that one too. I might have four diet Cokes a year. Maybe.
Fried food the same. Almost never. I'm not eating desserts except for the occasional Weight Watchers ice cream bar and not even one of the high points ones. I'm drinking a lot less beer. A LOT less. Red meat hardly once a week. I don't snack on chips and I'm avoiding processed everything.
But. I'm not fooling myself. I've gotten sloppy. I've been eating some mixed nuts. Not a lot, but obviously, too many. I've gone out and had a piece of pizza when Jessie and Vergil were here. The place we went advertises their slices as being "as big as your head." Bigger than my head, in fact. Still, I took off a great deal of the cheese and didn't eat the whole thing. But again- it's the little things you add up over a day, a week, a month. People don't realize this when they want to lose weight.  They want to think that their sins are tiny and won't matter. But they do. And I'll tell you something- at my age, it's harder than it ever was. I should probably just go completely vegan or something. Become entirely plant-based.
No. I'm not giving up yogurt. I can give up cheese but dammit, I am not giving up yogurt. Or my monthly pork chop.

I don't know. I am unsettled. I am disquieted.

The boys are coming around two this afternoon. And when their mama comes to pick them up this evening, I'll give her supper. Mr. Moon is going to the hunting camp in Georgia for the weekend. I might go see a movie tomorrow. I am going to try and get the garden ready to till in preparation for the fall garden. I am looking forward to my winter lettuces. Every fucking bag or plastic container I buy of salad greens is already half nasty by the time I get it open. It's probably stupid to try and eat fresh lettuces in summer here. Definitely not seasonal. At one point in his life, Billy Bob Thornton lived for months on one can of tuna and a package of Twizzlers a day. He ended up in the hospital. He has issues. Don't we all? The human body wants to continue to live and will take whatever you give it and try to make it work for as long as it can.
It's amazing that way.
I am constantly amused by the new rules we make up to attempt to believe we can live forever. Go gluten-free or fat-free or meat-free or sugar-free. Whatever. Whatever you want to do, okay, there's someone out there who will tell you it's the right thing to do.
Or the wrong thing. Either one.
I know a woman who did that cave man diet. She got colon cancer and still thought it was a great idea. She probably would have gotten colon cancer anyway.

I was behind a woman at Publix in the check-out yesterday. She was buying a whole lot of Activia yogurt and not much else. She was thin and looked healthy. Maybe Jamie Lee Curtis is right. The E2 diet is new. It's all about how cheese is addictive and how we need to be vegans in order to prevent not only heart disease but also cancer and Alzheimers. You have to give up fats, too, including olive oil. Really?

They're probably right.

I wish I had a bacon and tomato sandwich with mayonnaise right now.

Maybe it would resettle and undisquiet me.

I doubt it.

Happy Friday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Instead of going gluten-free, or dairy-free, I suggest you go karaoke with Hank.

  2. Fuck it all.

    But I hope you have a really nice day.

  3. I just ate a bacon and tomato sandwich with mayonnaise. And it was delicious. Forget all the crazy diets...everything in moderation and some exercise will cure most of what ails you, as my grandmother said. Not much of a red meat eater myself either, but the vegans will have to pry my dairy out of my cold dead hands!!

  4. I, too, am in the fuck it all category. Keep doing what you're doing; I honestly can't think of a damn thing else to change about your diet. I know you eat well and i really do NOT suggest cutting out your yogurt or dairy because of your bone health. It's more important than the dam scale. You know? Pork chops really aren't that bad....are they? I mean I just buy small ones, and oven bake them.

  5. Juancho- Thank-you. You gave me my first real smile of the day.

    Elizabeth- Yep. Fuck it all. Pass the rum.

    Mama D- Well, it's not working for me- the moderation thing or the exercise thing. Never has. But I do agree with you in theory.

  6. ok here is my top tip....anything in moderation to start lose weight fast for 2 days a week, they don't have to be consecutive, just don't eat much, thin soup, piece of toast, sort of thing you might have if you don't feel too well, and eat normally the other days..... maintain weight loss with one day off eating and enjoy a slice of pizza at will!!

  7. The trick is to not use the number on the scale as a measure of health or success.

    Your blood pressure, your blood glucose, your cholesterol. Look to those numbers.

    The number on the scale is not a good barometer.

  8. I saw a story of a 100 year old man who ate red meat his entire life and drank.
    We live as long as we live - I try to enjoy everything in moderation - otherwise I feel like I'm starving and then I'll fall off the wagon and eat an entire carton of Ben & Jerry's half-baked.
    Food is just too damn good.

  9. it's all a crapshoot, isn't it?

    pet peeve? folks who've never had a weight issue in their life telling me that all i need to do is eat less and have some willpower.

    that's when i know for sure i have good impulse control.

    pass the cheese, please.

  10. One consolation. Those thin OLDER ladies look, well, they look like shit. No butts, skinny arms and wrinkly faces. I'm not in that category, that's for sure!

    XXXXXXX Beth

  11. I'll give up my nightly beer before I give up yogurt.

  12. I KNOW!!!!!

    Argh! People who don't get it need to be quiet. If I do not want to be obese, I have to watch every single little thing and exercise like a madwoman. I haven't had fried food in forever and I don't eat cheese except Babybel lights occasionally. (These things I don't eat because they make me sick, but still.) Soda? Ha! Alcohol? Right.

    If I ate every time I was hungry, I would weigh 700 pounds. If I ate everything I wanted to, I would weigh 1,700 pounds.

    I have to be regimented, oh so regimented, and I'm not right now.

    Please keep blogging this because I need your solidarity to get back on track.

  13. I hope you went to Karaoke with Hank!

    You are so healthy. You are doing it right. Nothing wrong with a monthly pork chop either.


  14. I was just about to have a fresh peach with ice cream. I might feel a little guilty about it, but I"m still going there.

    you beautiful thing.

  15. SJ- Shit, girl. According to the E2 diet people, dairy just leaches the calcium out of your bones. Who the fuck knows?

    Young At Heart- It that works for you- excellent! It does not work for me. I swear.

    Jennalyn- I know. The scale is not the only way to measure success. But it is part of the equation.

    Rachel- We all have our vices, don't we? Well, speaking for myself...
    And yes, if we deny ourselves, we end up binging. Well, some of us.

    Angella- Amen! Sister! You sing soprano, I'll sing alto. Because we're both singing the same song here.

    Beth- I know. I know. But I've never had a butt ever in my life so that part doesn't concern me. I really and honestly would just like to have a little less weight on my knees and I sure would like to be able to wear some of my favorite clothes.

    Rubye Jack- I'm about 50-50 on that one.

    Nola- I'm with you on the personal statistics. Shit, yes!

    Nicole- Nah. Hank's karaoke is his big weekend night-out. I ain't horning in on that. I'm his MOTHER!
    God. I wish I had a pork chop right now.

    Deirdre- That is health food, baby. I swear. And no- YOU beautiful thing. Dang.

  16. I like the "moderation in all things" suggestion.

  17. I hate to say it, Mary, and I know this will piss you off, but the answer might be wheat, sadly.

  18. Steve- Me too.

    Jo- I read that article. And it ends up saying that a diet high in sugar and refined grains and low in fat is causing all the obesity. So it's not JUST the grains, okay? And anyone who believes that if they're eating a diet which yes, is low-fat but high in refined carbs is a good thing is fooling themselves.
    Let's have a little sense here.
    My smallish consumption of whole grains is not what's making it hard for me to lose weight. Believe me. I honestly don't think there is any magic bullet which is causing obesity. It's a huge range of processed foods and lack of exercise in the general public (we don't till the soil or hunt the woods for our food anymore- we drive to the grocery store or though the fast-food line) and we're eating crap that is not really food at all.
    I still love what Michael Pollan said which was, "Eat food, mostly plants, not too much." If we really stuck to THAT, defining food as something our grandparents would have recognized as such (eliminating vast amounts of processed shit), we'd all be better off.

  19. My mother ate bacon and sausage and eggs for most of her life. She loved fried shrimp and ate steak too. She didn't drink milk but loved ice cream. She did not smoke or drink and she lived to be 95. It's in the genes, I believe.

  20. I second Elizabeth. With all the walking you do you have probably added muscle mass which makes the scales lie too. And if I can't have a blt with a ton of mayo once a year especially with a bright red garden tomato even minus the bacon then I'd rather die at 88 then at 89.

    love you mary.

  21. Syd- I think so too. Genes. All of it. Or at least most.

    Rebecca- Oh god. I've missed you. Love you too.

  22. Mary, I've had bronchitis that knocked me on my (flat) ass. Feeling a little better today missed you too!


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