Sunday, September 9, 2012

A Good Day Of Work

Well we're having a cold snap here in Lloyd today as it's only 79 degrees in the hallway and if you think I'm joking, you are WRONG! It feels heavenly and I have the front door wide open and the back door too.
The scent of Fabuloso and bleach fill the air and the sound of the washer and dryer fill my happy ears.
Haha. Not really but yeah, really. I'm so grateful for a washer and a dryer. I've been running rugs and towels all day long.
I'm so exhausted you would have thought I'd cleaned the whole damn house and the garage too instead of what I have cleaned, which in the scheme of things isn't that much but fuck it- I got done what I set forth to do and that's enough for me.

Do you have the strange desire on a day in which you have toiled endlessly (sort of) to list each and every accomplishment? I do. It makes me feel like maybe I'll go to heaven or something if there's a list of my deeds somewhere which is ridiculous in that I don't believe in heaven unless we're talking about clean bathrooms and open hallways with the cooler air coming through. I especially remember listing the things I'd crossed off my list when my kids were young and the list was constantly endless and no one gave a shit but me whether or not the dishcloths and diapers were bleached and the toys picked up and grocery shopping done and put away and the baby nursed fifty-two times and dinner set on the table at a reasonable hour and Professor Wormbog In Search For the Zipperump-A-Zoo read a few dozen times to a toddler and maybe a preteen taken to ballet or karate and the cats fed and the dishes washed and homework maybe helped with and if there was sex involved at the end of the day I pretty much figured I deserved a crown of gold and rubies and come to think of it, I did.

All the while I was believing that I wasn't worth my salt because I wasn't a "working" mother although for part of that time, I surely was, maybe at the Birth Center as a birth assistant or at Weight Watchers as a leader but hey- that's another story.
I remember at one point when Jessie was an infant and Lily was the most strong-minded three-year old in the history of the universe and I had two preteens and my husband was working 12 hour days I thought I had some horrible disease because I was so damn exhausted all the time. Of course I was nursing Jessie, too. I mean, I went to the doctor and got all sorts of blood tests and he kept telling me I was fine but I could NOT figure out why I wanted to sleep all the time and I look back on those days and I wonder how in hell I made it through.

So now a good long day of getting stuff done seems, once again, like I haven't really accomplished much but I think that probably in fact,  I did a full day's work and I'm just grateful as hell that I have the strength I do to take care of the house I am privileged to live in and the yard which gives me so much pleasure and there's plenty of leftovers and the power is on and my husband wants to play some cards after his full day of work and the chickens have clean nests to lay their beautiful eggs in and it's just been a real good day.

I plan on sleeping well tonight.

Appreciate yourself, y'all. I think we all do our best and if we don't get crowns of gold and rubies that's okay. That would be a lot to hold up and take more neck muscles than I have myself personally although a ring or necklace would be tolerable.

Just saying.

All mothers are working mothers as cliched as that is and don't you forget it.

Yours truly...Ms. Moon

13 comments:

  1. Ah I love this - 79 degrees F is around 26 degrees C yes? It was slightly less than that today and you'd have thought there was a friggin' heatwave with the amount of bikinis and hotpants that were on show.

    Thank you for sharing your day though - it really has motivated me in some ways and I've needed that lately.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's 72 here, and it feels like heaven.

    Well -as close to heaven as it gets on a Sunday. You know what I mean.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, I so love my lists! It really makes me feel like I've accomplished something when many things are crossed off. Seeing the day's achievements all together in black and white reminds me that I really am getting things done despite the constant and ever-loving distractions. And I think that stay-at-home mamas deserve a crown of gold and jewels whether sex is involved at the end of the day or not.

    ReplyDelete
  4. yeah. I've been 'working' since Jonah was born and I just have two jobs, neither of which get done enough, and both of which i fuck up spectacularly and how the hell do any of us stay awake for the majority of our lives, not spin apart into a billion pieces? And I was really proud of myself today that I managed to grocery shop without having an acute anxiety attack and sweep the floors and vaccuum up what appears to be a wooly mammoth of dog and cat fur and boil some noodles and transfer laundry from the washer to the dryer and wash the handle of my refrigerator. Oh, and not lose my kid in Target or get run over by a car in the parking lot and read a book before he went to bed. And at some point I'll write lesson plans for tomorrow and I'll ignore the cobwebs and the faint smell of pee.

    I was mostly proud of that refrigerator handle. It's been super gross for a long time.

    I love lists. I love you, and coming here.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Liv- You are welcome!

    Wayne- It's all relative, isn't it?

    SJ- You KNOW I do, girl. You know it.

    Mama D- I'm with you, baby. I am.

    Sara- Let me be a witness- you totally deserve jewelry, a vacation and a place at the bar in heaven. Uh-huh, amen. I love that you love coming here.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I thought of you even when I pulled a dresser in the living room away from the wall to see what was back there and then noticed that no one had pulled that out from the wall in what could be months, if not years. I wished for you and your bottle of Fabuloso.

    Just sayin' Hospitality Princess.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes! Lists rock! Writing down all your daily achievements definitely makes them more concrete. Maybe that's why we're blogging? LOL

    I don't want a crown. I'd have to clean it and polish it and insure it. I don't know how moms do it -- I feel like I work my ass off just keeping up a household of two people plus my two little part-time jobs. Throw kids into the mix and I'd be crazy.

    Wayne's right -- people here have been basking in the sunshine the last few days.

    ReplyDelete
  8. We had the same glorious weather and it was fine.

    I was beating myself up tonight for only completing 1/2 my "to-do" list. Then I finally reached the point of realizing how fucked up that is. Am I seriously upset with myself for going outside to sit on the patio in the sun, read and listen to the wind chimes? Fucked up indeed!

    I'm going to have to check out Billy Bob...I do enjoy him.

    ReplyDelete
  9. O I love lists. And if I find I've done something that wasn't on the list, I then put it on the list just so I can tick it off!
    Off to iron School uniforms now . . . I would like to list the individual items, but I haven't got time . . .
    I do enjoy your writing, thanks x

    ReplyDelete
  10. I have spent the last 2 years sleeping and napping as much as possible. My friends and family give me grief about it sometimes but I spent the last 20+ years running, running, running taking care of everyone and everything. My youngest is finally a teenager and so I finally don't have to be on-call every minute of the day.... So I sleep. And those naps are heaven!
    Love you.
    Michelle

    ReplyDelete
  11. Elizabeth- You're supposed to pull dressers away from the wall?! Stop that!

    Steve- Honey, I bitch about doing housework as much now as I did back when I really did some. Just as with the weather- it's all relative.

    Mel's Way- I think you might like the book. I don't know. Maybe you're crazy enough. Ha! Glad you sat and had some relaxation time. Listening to the windchimes sounds important to me. Otherwise- why hang them?

    bugerlugs- Ironing? I vaguely remember when I used to do some of that. Bless your heart.

    Michelle- Hell yes, baby! You can be in the cat-phase of your life. Nap and rest and look beautiful. I love that idea.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I don't make lists. Cannot stand to have a to do list. I actually went to a workshop on making lists and being productive with them when I was working. It completely turned me off. I actually tried making those stupid lists for a few months. Hated it. Now I just freelance with my day.

    ReplyDelete

Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.