Saturday, September 15, 2012

I'm Gone (Why Am I Still Here?)

I can't sleep for twelve hours if you hold a gun to my head. I just can't do it.
But I sure can sleep for eight, which I did, and it was delightful and it's a gorgeous Saturday morning here in Lloyd, Florida, and the rain we got yesterday is making everything sparkle in the sunlight as if tiny, busy fairies had hung crystal prisms from every branch and leaf and blade of grass.

Peaceful. So very, very peaceful.

And here I am with absolutely no obligations before me and I can do ANYTHING with this fine day. Anything I want.
And what is it that I want to do?
I have no idea.

Things to consider doing today:
Being overall dirt lady and working in the garden.
Being overall dirt lady and working in the house.
Being dress-lady and going shopping for more dresses. Isn't it time for the 75% Off racks to be appearing at Dilliards? 75% is my magic number.
Being lady-like lady and getting a mani/pedi.
Being crazy, wild lady and going to a movie.
Being slothful lady and lying on the couch and watching Bravo TV all day.

Those are a few ideas. Here's another- I somehow figure out how to fly to Cozumel. Now wouldn't that just shake up the world? Haha! I'm sure that if I wanted to whip out the credit card (which we never use but there it is, right there, in my wallet!) I could do it. I could get on a plane to somewhere that would take me to somewhere that would take me to Cozumel. I could get off the plane and the soft, warm air would bathe me and I could heft my carry-on because that's all I'd bother to take, and get a taxi to town and find a room overlooking the water and the sidewalks and the smell of it would hit me like a motherly bosom and I could saunter, walk, hip-roll down that freakingly beautiful waterfront sidewalk with the seawall

 and find a table, "Hola, hola, si, maragarita, por favor, pequeno," and there would be chips, warm from the fryer and pico de gallo, the beak of the rooster, yes, yes! Bring it all on and I could watch the people walking by and there would be that water which just looking upon aligns my neurons into their proper order

and there would be bougainvillea

and everywhere I looked, Senor y Senora Iguana

and I could offer myself up to that Hot Mama Virgin of Guadalupe

who is everywhere, EVERYWHERE

and I could say, "Look, Mama, I've done my job and take me in your arms and let's boogie dance stroll joywalk together for awhile, you just watch out for me," and she would and I would do like that and I would offer myself up to Ixchel, too, because she's the Mama of the Mama, there before the Catholics got there, powerful and cruel and beautiful and bountiful all in one, just like a real woman, only a goddess.

If anyone missed me, they'd have to find me. 

Shit. I've got myself in tears now. 
I have a very strong feeling that no matter what it is that I do with this day that there is going to be part of me which is not here at all, not in Lloyd or Tallahassee or Florida or the United States of America but on a very small island off the Yucatan peninsula and my feet know the sidewalks and my heart knows the swallows as they dip and fly and soar and dip again and the jungle is on one side of me, the blue/green/purple/indigo/violet water on the other.

I better eat a peach. They're going to go bad. I better start some laundry. This day is getting away from me. I better come back to earth, slam, back into my body right here, damn, but I could, I could, I could fly away. I won't. Not today. But dammit, some day. Maybe. I may be old but there is a place which calls me like a lover and a mother and you can get there from here and it's always inside me anyway. 

Happy Saturday, y'all.

Love...Senora Luna


  1. iloveyou

    do you have any idea how much i love you? and i love this post. let's fly there together. heck, i'll drink a margarita with you in that heavenly place.

  2. damn that water is magical. it's been too many years since I was there.

  3. Angella- We both long for the water of many colors, the heat, the bougainvillea, the slow sweetness. I love you too, good woman. I love you too, sweet somehow-sister.

    Ellen Abbott- It is. Quite simply. Magic.

  4. Take me with you and Angella! Take me with you!

  5. May I join you and Angella and Elizabeth?

    Actually, I think you should be naughty Mary and use that credit card. Book a trip for you and Mr. Moon and surprise him when he gets home! Yes???

  6. Does this mean it's time to go, hmm? Lulumarie might just be right :)

  7. I am with you on this one. When you need that perfect ocean and tht soft sweet air you just do. my dear. That's where I go at times like these. Sometimes I think just to show myself that I can and to know just what it would take. Knowledge is power.


  8. You forgot computer lady. Is she slothful or creative or productive? The lady who keeps this most beautiful life as it is blog.

    I think I'm slothful computer lady most of today. Nothin' creative comin' out of this mind.

  9. Go, go by yourself, you deserve it. Send pix. s Jo

  10. I want to go to Cozumel now because you talk about it all the time and it sounds so perfect.

  11. Elizabeth- Of course. The Maya would love you.

    lulumarie- It's a thought. And of course you can come.

    Jo- It's always time. Always.

    Invisigal- I just discovered hipmonk. com.
    Another resource.

    Rubye Jack- Ah. Both. Slothful and productive. Always.

    S. Jo- I just might. One of these days.

    Nicol- You would not regret it.

    Wayne- It's a big old world, isn't it?

  12. You are a busy woman. We feel slack compared to you and what you do.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.