Sunday, October 2, 2011

None Of These Things Is Just Like The Other

My God, it's been a beautiful day.
I trimmed the hell out of that jasmine. I uprooted plenty of rooster-tail lilies. I picked up downed branches. I watered.
Check, check, and check.

Mr. Moon beat my ass at gin. For about the ten millionth time in a row. Here's what I want to know- if you are unlucky at cards but lucky in love, why does Mr. Moon win every time? Is he not as lucky in love as I am?
Don't answer that.

Here's another question:
Have you ever tried these?


Oh my god. They are good. Pickled cherry tomatoes. Uh-huh. They would perk a salad right up. Theoretically, of course. They'd be good in a Bloody Mary, too. Real good.
I could eat a jar of them all by themselves. I am not sharing them with Owen because he loves pickled things and would probably want them all. I am a selfish grandma. I am not sharing my Tomolives.

The other day Owen got a sip of my cold coffee with no sugar or milk in it. Yes, I drink cold coffee with no sugar or milk in it. Sometimes. Anyway, he thought it was his cossee, which is what we call his warm water in a cup. He literally tried to wipe his tongue off with his fingers and made sounds of distress. The poor child will probably never drink real coffee in his life.

I wish I was one of those women who can talk about her vagina on her blog but I am not. I'm not sure why I would wish to discuss my vagina on my blog, but it always cracks me up when other women do. I guess I really don't want to do it that much or I would. Maybe.

I have the cutest husband in the world. Okay, I can't really state that with authority, but I'm pretty sure that I do have one of the cutest husbands in the world. Wouldn't it be funny and great if we could all talk about the silly and funny things our husbands do without pissing them off? Because you know they'd be pissed off if we talked about all that stuff.
Just like they might be pissed off if we discussed our vaginas.

Does your husband/and/or/partner like to pretend-attack you in the kitchen?

Just wondering.

Here's another question. Do little boys ever really grow up?

Do women?

Yeah. But not all the way. That's my answer.

I just talked on the phone to Billy's grandmother. In the past year she and her husband to whom she has been married to for about sixty years have had to leave their little piece of paradise down in Tate's Hell (it's not all hell) and move to Tallahassee to be closer to help and family and doctors. "It's always been me and Billy G," she told me. And although she has health problems out the wazoo, she is determined to take care of that man whom she has loved for so long. They have their own house, they have someone who comes over every day to help them and they have family. But mostly, they have each other.

I don't even want to think about how this may be a part of my future- having to deal with the ravages of age for me and my beloved. But you know what? That's life and by god, I want to be as determined as Maw-Maw.

All right. I'm going to go heat up last night's soup.

For me and my beloved.

Sunday night. Be well, y'all.


  1. An amusing post, Ms Moon, moving from Tomolives to vaginas, which we don't tend to write about on our blogs, and the idiosyncrasies of husbands. And all this in your usual wonderful vernacular. Great stuff.

  2. Don't worry, you're not the only one who sometimes drinks cold black coffee. Colin has the same reaction to mine, but seemed to like Steph's (she uses milk and sugar).

  3. Elisabeth- I'm just throwing it all out there. Hoping some of it makes sense.

    Jon- Are we raising a generation of people who will grow up to eschew coffee?

  4. Olives and vaginas and bitter coffee, oh my.
    Yes u do have the cutest husband in the world.
    When I let myself imagine such a thing for myself, a man like yours comes to mind, in looks and personality/sensability. He is mighty fine.
    But then I'd have to be good at making soup and bread and all the other wonderful beautiful things that make you such a catch.
    I love the image of Owen wiping his tongue, poor babe.
    night night mama Moon.
    Good job with yr chores today. I mowed some of the lawn. I bought stuff to make beef stew.

  5. Hahahaha. You do have a way of weaving things together. If someone googles "vagina" and "tongue" this post could be on the list. They may be quite delighted.

  6. I'm still laughing about Owen wiping his tongue off with his fingers and making sounds of distress. Perhaps he inherited a sense of drama from his Mer-Mer?

  7. I love Tomolives. My little sister and I used to eat those white onions in a jar, too, when we were little. I can't remember what they're called, but my father put them in his drinks.

    Sadly, I'm a Virgo and hesitant to write about my vagina. My friend Laura writes a lot about her vagina, though, if you're looking.

  8. I eat pickled green tomatoes almost every day. My husband pickles about 150 jars every summer and stores them in neat rows in the basement. They are delicious. Never had Tomolives though, so I can't compare.
    And as long as my vagina works, I see no reason to write about it.

  9. Some of us are blessed with a good man. Since I was kissed by a lot of frogs before my knight found me I know the difference. It's heaven on earth having a good one! It's probably better not to look too far in the future and try to projecting being old, too scary to my liking. But my mind wanders too at times... Nice post!
    Yeah for all the good men on earth and in our arms.

  10. "...but I am not." came just it time for me to continue reading. Whew.

    BabyGirl scares mama in the kitchen so I figure I don't have to. Saw May May at the restaurant the other night; we were having a birthday dinner for mama. That food there is amazing and the place runs like a top; I'm sure we can credit May for most of that.

  11. Oh Ms. Moon I love you and your blog. And I would even put up with vagina talk. But, I must say I prefer things they way they are around here. And poor Owen and the coffee/cossee. Sweet child.

  12. Bethany- Oh, there are other sorts of fellas (and ladies) who don't require a home-ec major to fall in love with. I guarantee you.
    You are worth loving just as you are! And I love you from afar.

    Denise- Or really pissed off.

    Lulumarie- Well. Maybe?

    Elizabeth- Cocktail onions? Yes, I read Laura and she does discuss her vagina with great humor. I admire her for it, too.

    Angie- Well, sometimes it might be nice for us to give credit to that which has served us so well? BTW- your husband makes pickled tomatoes? Score!

    Photocat- Amen!

    Mungam- Glad I didn't scar you forever, dear man. Yep. That restaurant would probably fall apart without May. She's something.

    Jill- He is a sweet child. When he isnt being a terror.

  13. Morning, mm. Two things:
    1) I'm billy lee, he's billy g.
    B) thanks for not talking about your bergina.


  14. Daddy B- 1) Okay. Correction made. I'm sorry!
    B) And I won't talk about my bergina around you. I promise. I love you.

  15. yep, dyin' is part of livin', the end game. and it increasingly ain't pretty. modern medicine allows us to live past our usefulness. it keeps our bodies going when our minds have gone. it props up one failure to allow several more.

    so. my husband likes to poke me in the side when I am doing the dishes. I hate that. so, no, boys never grow up.

  16. I've never heard of tomolives. If I can find them, I'll pick some up. I LOVE pickled okra though.

  17. Ellen Abbott- Pokes you in the SIDE? This is not quite what I mean.
    Perhaps he needs some instruction. (Not really, I bet.)

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- Pickled okra is Owen's favorite. We all love it around here.

  18. It is so good to see the word "vagina." What is it that Oprah calls it? I hate that. It is a vagina. That is why I laugh when I see Maude Lebowski discuss her art work as "vaginal." Is that what this blog is? LOL.

    You are funny, wise, and whip smart. And real. And comfort and challenge--you make me want to know things about myself and other women.

    Aren't we lucky to read you?

  19. I like reading about vaginas. So you can write whatever you like. "play attack"? No--most of the attacks are for real. I once or twice did stick a large Italian eggplant in my pants and walked into the kitchen. I'm not sure whether the screams were of horror or delight!

  20. Jaye- I don't know but I know for sure that I am lucky to have you.

    Syd- Yes. You are a boy. It is now completely confirmed. Thank you.


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