Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Self-Talk

Cherokee Rose

Walk around Lloyd and give salute waves to neighbors passing in cars, greet those in person with good morning. Some times the best walks come from days of high anxiety, the brain floating somewhere else, disassociated from the body which doesn't need much help in its sweaty effort anyway, one foot in front of another, look, the bushy green dog fennel is coming on, last year's sticks neatly lying where they dropped, a small fortress of brittle stems, dewberry blooming low to the ground on its vines, blackberries already blooming on scratchy bushes. Stop to pee and look down, see a brown spider moving across the pine needles and be glad I am not arachnophobic, its pattern pretty and clever, I do not in the least wish it harm as it scuttles away. I am in its world, after all.

Remember when I get home to break down all the things I believe I "need" to do into one-step-at-a-time. This is not rocket science nor is it of any real importance and know that in trying to control my environment I am trying to control my mind and there is only so much I can do in either case. Put on overalls to go kneel in the dirt, pray to the sun, to the recent rains, to the rising plants, to those now ready to pull which have spent their brief life sustaining mine.

Eat. Pray. Love.

Sure. You do it your way. I'll do it mine.

Also breathe. Just keep going and be glad of that.

Move/stay-still/float/drift/squat/stand/bend/reach/look up/notice and remember that we all have our places, spider and human, chicken and bluebird, flower and oak tree. Forgive yourself for perceived sins and shortcomings.

Well. Try. And keep on.

Trying.








2 comments:

  1. I peed in the woods in Germany in Autumn and I loved it. On a patch of moss.

    ReplyDelete
  2. We only have the one bathroom, so if it's occupied I go out in the chicken yard to pee, kinda behind stuff so passersby don't see my nekked butt.

    ReplyDelete

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