Tuesday, March 15, 2016

I went to church today because that's where we vote in Lloyd. Big new brick Baptist church. The white people church. I walked there, it's only a few blocks from my house. Or what would be blocks if we had blocks. Up until the last moment I wasn't sure who I was going to vote for but when it came time to fill in the oval, my hand moved unerringly to one and not the others as if it had been controlled in a game with a Ouija board.
Whichever candidate gets the Democratic nod, I will be fine with but truthfully, I just wish that President Obama could continue on for another eight years. Or so.

I left the church and continued my walk. I am really struggling today and had a little breakdown last night wherein I finally had to let down my wall and tell my husband what was going on. Anyway, I knew that today the best thing I could do was to walk the miles and so I did, my mind somewhere far away but my body, at least, emptying itself of some of the adrenalin.

I texted Mr. Moon this morning that I couldn't even bear the thought of going to the store to get what we need to take to the island, much less go there tomorrow. But I am going to try. This is probably a fool's errand but I'm a mess as it is so why not go be a mess there?
I guess. He really wants to go. He's offered to do all of the shopping and carry me there himself if that's what I need.
I don't know what I need. I don't know what I want.

I can't even think.

I know this will pass. At least I do know that.

Meanwhile, this is how the oldest living cat in the world has been spending her day.
I want to tell her to move over and make room for me.


  1. You know I love you as well, don't you? xo

  2. Oh, Mary, I do hope you feel better soon. The mind is a squirrelly thing. Up, down, all around, repeat. Look up, look to the sky, look into space. That is what helps me. But I do not have the all-consuming anxiety, just the garden variety at times. Hugs.

  3. I had to walk for similar reasons. Also he who does not cook does not know how to shop. I have had much personal experience with this both husbands and son are dismal shoppers. (Once I asked my ex to go to the store and buy some flour tortillas and he came back with a bag of flour and a box of disgusting yellow pre-shaped corn tortillas.)(Once I asked my ex to to to the store and buy me a clove of garlic and he came back with a spice jar of cloves and a jar of disgusting pre-chopped garlic.) Ask me why I got divorced. Tip. Of. Iceberg.

    I digress.


  4. That cat... If you ask me (which you did not), you need one big rest. You enumerated in one of your recent posts all you've been through lately and it's a lot. Even though good, it takes a lot out of you. Let Mr Moon carry you. I wish there were places to call in food where you are going so you didn't have to cook. Just rest. Love you.

  5. I am here, holding out my hand, loving you.

  6. That flowerpot looks pretty good to me too. I'm just grateful to you for laying it all out on the line. Makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one who feels this way sometimes.

  7. Honey, I'm in the flower pot with the kittie. Curled up. Waiting for it all to blow over.

    I love you so much.


  8. That cat!

    As a commenter mentioned above, I'm sure fatigue is a big part of this. You've been doing a lot lately! Perhaps trying to look at Dog Island as an opportunity for rest, rather than a task requiring work, would help. I don't know.

  9. I feel our two states are engaged in a game of volleying the WTF'ery ball back and forth across the country. By my calculations, we're down 2 points for the pro-gun mom who was shot by her 4-year-old and Trump (by some miracle) did not win Idaho's republican nomination! Phew.

  10. The election down there is enough to give a person the heebie jeebies. I swear.
    Ride it out Mary. Like a surfer. Or a bull rider.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.