Monday, February 22, 2016

I Just Don't Even Know

About two days ago I finally sent an e-mail to the AOL support team about my inability to open pictures on my desktop AOL account. Today I got an email in return which said this:

Thank you for contacting the AOL Email Support Team.

We apologize for the inconvenience, however, there was an issue with our email service that may have caused the issues you are describing. At this time that problem has been identified and is being addressed. The matter is happening with the emails that contain attachments that are sent from iPhone mobile devices.

While we cannot provide a specific time when the issue will be resolved, please be assured that our team is working to correct it as soon as possible.

Again our apologies and thank you for your patience.

Best regards,

AOL Email Support Specialist

Really? Oh well. Thanks, AOL! And please, bite my ass. My patience is coming to an end. Your best regards aren't quite enough. Could you not have sent out an email telling us about the problem before we went insane and downloaded new operating systems and went into hysterics and bothered our techie brothers and felt like complete and utter incompetent assholes?

Okay. Thanks. 

Anyway, la-di-dah, first world problem if there ever was one. 

I've been in a mood today which I can't describe because it's like a complex braiding of all the moods and all of the feelings and thank god I could get out and do something with Jessie and Lily and Gibson and August and Magnolia because it kept me from curling up into a ball and crying my eyes out or...
Well. Something not conducive to life. 

Here's a picture I just stole off Facebook. Jessie took it from the back seat of Lily's van where she was sitting between the babies. 

Gibson was in the way back. He and I learned today that if we put the sides of our heads together while we are eating croutons, we can hear the sound of our mutual crunching remarkably well. This may have just been a ruse for him to get all of my croutons, but it was worth it. On the way home he asked his mother if he could jump on the trampoline. 
"No," she said. "You cannot."
"But I no broke my arm!" he protested. 
Still, she would not let him. 

We were running late, as usual due to babies needing nursing and changing and so forth and I volunteered to go pick up Owen from school while Lily and Jessie unloaded the van and...nursed and changed their babies. When I picked up my boy, he said, "So Mer. Maybe we should go to that place where they sell toys."
He meant the Lighthouse Children's Home thrift store and so after a call to his mama, we went. He bought a Buzz Lightyear toy, still in the unopened package and we got Gibson a truck thing which Owen said he would like. 
He did. 

I was so loathe to leave Lily's today. I just wanted to hold on to all of them. Sometimes there is nothing as soothing and comforting to me as the simple holding of a child's hand, the snuggling of a baby to my body, the touch of a daughter or a son on my back or arm. So I stuck around as long as reasonably reasonable and then came on home to make Mr. Moon's snack bag, to get him on the road, to do a few chores around here. 

And here I am. My husband is gone to Orlando and I am still feeling all of the feelings. Jack is sitting behind me on my chair. I am going to heat up stuffed peppers for my supper. I actually charged the batteries for the "real" camera to take some pictures of the rising full moon through the naked pecan branches but it appears to be too overcast to catch even a glimpse of the full-bellied glory. 

It's like that for me now. I know the moon and the stars are out there but I cannot see them. Both realities- their presence and their absence- are true as true. 

I reach back and stroke the green-eyed cat. 

I am overcome with it all. 


  1. Heartinhand (and foot in mouth)February 22, 2016 at 8:31 PM

    Oh Mary, I hear you loud and clear! I finally retrieved my password to my hotmail and discovered that several months ago, I sent my husband a link to my blog. Was I drunk? Did I paste when I should have cut? Not that I have anything to hide, but that was kind of my sanctuary to barf out the worst parts of me. I feel too dumb to Internet.
    Hug those babies, chomp those croutons, feed those chickens.
    Do what you can do and don't do what you can't do.
    Love you.

  2. Dear Mary, I understand this. I imagine watching your girls mothering their babies might make you a touch nostalgic for the days of being a new mother yourself. At least, I think I might feel that way, with my great joy mixed with an odd kind of yearning. All the shades of being a mother. I love you.

  3. And that photo of the babies in the backseat, a family classic.

  4. Heartinhand- Twice today I have sent text messages to the wrong person. Ay-yi-yi! I am trying to do my best, as we all are. Love you, woman.

    Angella- I just sent you an email. Thank you. I love you.

  5. Well, AOL doesn't want to acknowledge a problem until they have to.

    In a like manner, I had a connectivity issue with my internet provider. When I called to report it, I asked if it was just me, or was it a widespread outage. They said I was the only one. But the repair man, when he finally got there, said a construction crew had cut a line and the outage was over several blocks. He said that the company never admitted to a wide spread problem until the repair crew was actually on the way. That way they could claim it was fixed faster than it really was.

    Same with AOL. If they provide customer service (send everyone a proactive letter warning of the issue) then they are on record that the issue exists. Instead they wait until each person complains and then respond on a case by case basis, every one who doesn't complain thinks it their problem, not AOL's

  6. I remember when our oldest grandbaby (now almost 19) was about two. I had had a particularly bad day at work, and after her mama dropped her off for the night and I made dinner and gave her her bath (have I mentioned that Baby Magic turns me into a sniveling fool?) she sat on my lap as I read 'Goodnight Elmo' to her. I felt the urge to just hug her (and maybe smell some Baby Magic), so I did. Maybe it was a little much because I can still hear that tiny voice say, 'Maw Maw, you love me too long!' Well, hell! Now I've got tears forming!

  7. I hate tech problems with a passion. I'm sorry you're having to go thru this. I'm glad you're still writing though. I'm sending you the biggest hug ever. I love you.

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  9. That picture of the two babies is fantastic.

    I hear you about the tech problems. Sometimes it feels like our generation is just screwed -- we've missed the boat, I think.

  10. The only thing worse than tech problems is getting the runaround from the people who could be helping with the tech problems. I feel so very lucky to have a buffer between me and the problems, two buffers really, my husband and my son. If it was just me and the computer, there would be a very large hammer through the screen by now. I hope AOL gets your issues fixed SOON. In the meantime, soak up all that family love while you can. Those babies are growing fast! Before you know it they'll be out of the baby stage. And then into the teen stage. Yikes.

  11. The thing to remember about AOL is that only about 12 people work there these days, so...poor Mary. She probably IS trying.

    I love the baby photo and the croutons story. I am imagining that some collector gave that Buzz Lightyear toy, pristine in its packaging, to charity -- and I think it's wonderful that a kid is going to play with it! :)

  12. Portia- And in the end, it would all be so much easier if they just admitted it up front.

    Catrina- We have a similar story in our family. Once when Jessie was a baby, May was hugging her so hard and Jessie said, "May, you are smooshing me with your love."
    We still say that to each other sometimes.

    Joanne- Thank you. I need a hug.

    Elizabeth- It's quite possible.

    jenny_o- Owen already reminds me of a teenager sometimes. It's all going so fast.

    Steve Reed- The package looked pretty old as if it had been stuck on a shelf in a dusty closet for a long, long time. Owen had no problem in ripping that sucker open, though.
    I wish AOL would hire some help for this problem. I'm tired of it.

  13. my grandson left last night around 7:30 and finally I was alone. am alone. with the dog in my lap and the cat laying on the table next to me. I was going to go to the junkyard with my friend Kathleen today but it is raining so I guess we won't go. no matter. I may not do a single thing today except sit and read. and fix stuffed peppers for dinner. (thanks for that).

  14. I get this message on my computer every day."This device cannot connect to the cloud because of a problem with your Earthlink account".

    I'm sure it's important to someone but I delete it and go about my day.

    I did call once and got a nice woman who spent some time 'fixing' the issue.


    XXXXXXX Beth the barely literate computer-using person

  15. Ellen Abbott- Sweet peace. I hope your peppers are delicious. I finished mine up last night.

    Beth- Jesus. No one understands this shit. Not even the people who are being paid to pretend they do. I swear.


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