Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Aging Sucks

I am getting old. How do I know this? Just let me tell you.

First off, after a walk and doing a little light yard work today, my hips feel like they're made of hot iron. My shoulders ache too. This is a new thing. Aching shoulders. What's up with that?
Age. Muthafuckin' age. That's what.
My knees don't feel that good either.

My mind is going. Yesterday I went to the library to return an audio book that I just couldn't listen to. A new Anne Rice about the Vampire Lestat. Now I liked old Lestat when Anne first started writing about him but as the books progressed, the bloodlines (haha!) got so complex that I doubt even she could follow them. And this book started out with all of that and I couldn't follow it. And I didn't care. And she used the word "preternatural" three times in about the first three pages. That was always one of her favorite words and I see that it still is. Anyway, whatever, blah, blah, blah, I decided to take it back. Fine. I go into the library, put an audio book into the media return, find a few different ones to check out, have a conversation with the librarian about Anne Rice books, go back to my car, run into an old friend, chat for about twenty minutes, get in my car and drive to Publix. I check my email on my phone because I am obsessive about that shit. I find an e-mail from the librarian telling me that I have returned NOT the Anne Rice book but the book I am currently listening to in the car and therefore, disc 3 was missing. This is Amy Pohler's book, "Yes Please" and I am enjoying that just fine so after Publix, I drove back to the library and checked that one back out and returned the Anne Rice book.
I think. I think I returned that one.

This is typical behavior for me these days.

However, this is the most telling thing of all: today I not only ironed pillowcases, I ironed THE FITTED BOTTOM SHEET AND THE TOP SHEET AS WELL! Stop it, Mary. Just stop it.
Even worse (can it get any worse?), I used light spray starch!
I spent an hour and a half of my life ironing sheets. It takes a long time to iron a king-sized sheet, let me just tell you.
Those sheets better feel better than anything I've ever felt in my life and that includes, you know, sex.
Which I can't have on those sheets because I spent an hour and a half ironing them and I am not about to mess them up.

Old. I am old.

Well, I better get in there and make supper. I'm going to cook pork chops while I still have the teeth to eat them with.
I wish this was a joke.

It is not.

I hear that Owen got his cast off today. Hurray! Hurray! Magnolia June will be five weeks old tomorrow.

At least you sometimes get grandchildren when you age.
There is that. And that makes it all worthwhile.

That, too, is not a joke.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I'd say hilarious, but instead I'll sigh. The sheet ironing is worrisome, for sure.

  2. She's a puddin. A total puddin.

    Can you get Turneric 185 there? It's by Solgar. It's meant to be better than pain killers, generally and is really effective against inflammation. The other day someone said it was the only thing that helped their arthritis and had made a big difference. That and glucosamine, apparently, are great for joints. This one is supposed to be super bio-available, which the curcumin in turmeric sadly isn't. Yes, they're horribly expensive, it's true. I got some on sale, and I think they're the thing that fixed my awful two week long headache. Also have huge amounts of other benefits as well.

  3. five MONTHS? I woulda thought five weeks. so this is what aging is all about. sheeeyit.

  4. Sometimes I just take the sheets out of the dryer and stuff them into one of its pillowcases then put them away.

  5. Elizabeth- I'll let you know if was worth it or not in about an hour.

    Jo- I tried tumeric. It did nothing. I'm allergic to Glucosamaine. So. There you go.

    Sarah- That's how old I am. I blundered and said five MONTHS when I should have said five weeks. I have corrected that.

    Birdie- I only have one decent set of sheets so it's out of the dryer and on the bed for me.

  6. Yes, I've been known to have an obsession with ironing, but I can honestly say I e never ironed a flat or fitted sheet. As for aching joints, I'm facing 60 in the next few months, and my knees have a head start, I fear. We're wintering on the Gulf Coast of your great state, and this last few days of cold weather have my knees screaming. Tonight I'm sleeping with my trusty sock of rice, warmed in the microwave for 2.5 minutes. May those precious grand babies make you feel young again!

  7. Ironing can be meditative when no one requires it of you. So iron away. And lord that Magnolia June is a darling. And yes aging sucks. I'm looking forward to grandkids.

  8. What a wonderful expression on
    Magnolia's face: bemused contentedness, or is she young for bemusement...

    You have influenced me to change our bedding far more often, almost always cycling through the same set, so I won't have to fold them. One of the households that hosted me when I was a student in France basically never washed the heavy old linen sheets. Just turned them over. You get used to it.

  9. Magnolia June. She is like a tiny perfect goddess.

    My shoulders ache too I found standing waist deep in sea water in Hawaii to be the perfect cure. I am not even kidding. Within half an hour the sore spots started kind of itching on the inside if you can imagine that. Kind of pulling or drawing. By the third day or so the pain was gone without a trace. It's all back now though. I'll be 52 next week sometime. It took my husband to remind me of that today. I guess I am a little distracted.


  10. Woman, I feel ya! The crazy shit I've been doing lately is blowin' my mind! Not once but TWICE in the past 2 weeks I have deleted my bookmarks/favorites of the blogs I like to read. WTF?!? Not even real sure how I did it but it was a pain in the ass to figure out how to get them all back. Then today I deleted an important email from my attorney intending to hit reply but deleted instead. It was easy to retrieve but still WTF?!?
    Am I the only one who thinks Magnolia looks sooo much like Hank? I would love to see a baby picture comparison but maybe that's just me.
    My hip and knee have been complaining loudly for about a week also. I think something/somewhere tropical is called for although vacation is not until May....hmmm guess I can crank up the heat and put on some Marley or Buffett and dream baby dream!

  11. Maybe subconsciously you really DIDN'T want to return old Lestat so you returned something else instead. Hmmmm...

    As for ironing sheets, I just can't justify it. (In fact I've started taking our big sheets to the laundry to have them washed and dried FOR me, because they're too big for our dryer.) But hey, if ironing makes you happy, why not?!

  12. Ironing is meditation, sometimes.


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