Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Washing My Heart With Tears

Willy seems better and so does my jaw but I'm still going into the dentist. Let's just get this over with. I hope when I walk out of there he's shaking his head and thinking I'm a nutsoid hypochondriac.
The anxiety is still knotting up my guts and bosom and I hate that.
You know how whenever you get anxious or whatever and someone tells you to go to your happy place?

How's that? 
It's a photo that a guest at the Blue Angel resort took from her balcony recently. 
You can borrow that image as your happy place if you want. I promise you that if you were there, you would be happy. 

Here's another photo from a Facebook page for Blue Angel.

For some reason this picture just makes me cry. The man on the left is Jorge who works at Blue Angel and the sight of his hand on that man's back just brings out the homesickness for Cozumel in me the way nothing else could. As I have always said- yes, Cozumel is an incredibly beautiful island. The water, the sky...not to be believed. 
But it is the Mayan people who make it what it is. They are not taught that it's bad to touch but they touch in the good way. A kind and reaching-out way. An I'm-a-human-and-so-are-you way.
And see the little doggie? That is LaLo, the dog of the owner of the Blue Angel and he is ever-present whether at the hotel or on the boat. He will love you if you're sitting by the water, he may even come into your room if the door is open, his tail wagging, his bright eyes shining, as if to say, "Hello, hello! Anyone need a little love here?"

I think he may be the happiest and luckiest dog on this planet. 

So, okay, this is where I have cast my mind today and now I'm wiping my eyes and snorting up tears and snot. 

Which is better than curling up in a fetal position. 

Oh golly. I better get ready to go to town.

One more picture.

Love...Ms. Moon, The Anxious and Homesick


  1. Thinking of you! Take care and go easy, always.

  2. Whenever you are having a bad day I try so hard to think of something to say that will make your day lighter but I always come up empty. You do know that I am sending you love and creating space in my own heart to carry you through just as you do for me.

  3. Oh honey. It sounds like you need a happy place recharge, alright.

  4. I wish there was a cure for all this. A simple one. I don't know, but if you can, I hope you take the Blue Angel cure as soon as possible.

  5. I'm always want you to be happy. I know that can't happen all the time, for any of us.

    But when you are sad or anxious and you share that, you help people like me. There are a lot of us. Your sharing somehow always makes me feel heard. And your honesty is such a naked honesty that it makes my nakedness not seem so weird.

    The last picture was the best for me. Sitting under that little shelter, protected and watching all that beauty is where I want to be. It's were I'm gonna' be in my head today.

    Thanks for sharing and I hope it turns out to be a good day for you after all.

  6. Oh Ms. Moon. I'm sorry. Breathe.



    I don't know if this is good, but might be interesting... god knows it's what we want to do.

    I have to say I find the guided meditations Youtube has to offer good. If nothing else than to take ten miunutes to breathe properly and relax.

  8. Oh, what a place. I hope you can go back there again soon-ish.

  9. Sabine- You too, my love. Go easy.

    Sarah- Aw. That just brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.

    Birdie- Yep. I know. And I feel the same way, reading your blog. Loving you.

    Jo- Sometimes just the pictures are almost good enough. Almost.

    Ms. Vesuvius- I am thinking I need to be PROACTIVE about this. I hate that word but sometimes it fits.

    Liv- It turned out all right. But I tell you- those pictures helped me tremendously. I would love for them to be able to help you as well. There really are such places on earth. I swear.

    Betsy- I have been. Consciously as well as un- .

    Jo- Sometimes, as I am falling asleep, I try to direct my thoughts and breath to a better place. Thank you.

    Denise- I know you would love it. I know that. With all of my heart.

  10. What a very beautiful place. Is the water really that colour? Lovely.

  11. I agree. Better than curling up in the fetal position. But I can do that, and however much I want the tears and the snot to come and deliver me from whatever pain, they never seem to come. Until I'm happy, and then they do, when I put the radio on or something.

  12. Jenny_o- Yes. That color and those colors and more colors. I could sit and stare at it all day long.

    Mwa- Yep. I think when we're in the bad places, we put up all the walls to keep out the pain which doesn't really work anyway. But then when the walls come down a out!

  13. been way too long since I went there.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.