Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Trying To Find My Lotus Flower, As Lis Would Say

I can't get moving today.
I blame it on the dreams.
So I was in New York City celebrating the fact that I had graduated from high school again because, who knows?
And it was a dream about New York City which was about as absurd as someone FROM New York City dreaming they were in Lloyd being stalked by pythons and bears because people were stealing my stuff and I was trying to wrap a present and my phone wouldn't work and a guy drew a knife on me and it was ridiculous and when I woke up I was totally THANK GOD IT WAS A DREAM!
But I'm still rattled and am not taking a walk and every single thing around here is driving me crazy. The warped doors and dirty floors and mold and mess and clutter everywhere and dammit, I sort of just want to get fifty giant boxes and throw everything in the house in them and have them magically disappear. Poof! Gone! Sixty years of memories and crap.
I mean it.
I don't even give a shit anymore.
I want four rooms with bamboo mats on the floors and one table with a orchid in a clear vase on it.
Okay. Some toilet paper might come in handy.
Why is life so fucking messy?

Took the trash and stopped in at the post office where I saw a woman I know. She was limping badly and had a walking stick the size of whale dick.

"What happened?" I asked.

"My horse fell on me. My pig scared her and she fell right on me."

I had to ask, right?

"Goodness," I said. "Did you break anything?" And as soon as I said that I thought, no, no, no. 

"Nope!" she said, "And do you know why?"

Here it comes, I thought.

"Because I've never drunk cokes. If you drink cokes, your bones get brittle."

Yep. There you go. Everyone in the world who has brittle bones got them from drinking Coca Colas.

Well, those are the highlights from Lloyd today.

I've got laundry going and am going into town to go to lunch with Hank and run by the library and perhaps go to the dreaded Bed Bath and Beyond or maybe Target to see if I can get some sort of organizational shelves to help with this kitchen project and of course the grocery store where I need to pick up a carton of Coca Colas.
Not really. I don't drink the stuff although occasionally I do crave one. As an old lady once said to a friend of May's after the woman's mother had died, "Honey, let's have a Coca Cola. Sometimes there is nothing so soothing as cold Coca Cola."

Cha-Cha just laid an egg and Mick "The Rooster" Jagger is running his fat rump over there to take her back to the flock. He truly is growing into a very fine rooster. He'll probably start fucking Lisa Marie and Elvira here before I know it. I hope that convinces them to be part of the flock. Last night they roosted on top of the hen house and sure as shit, an owl or a hawk is going to get them if they keep doing that.

Even chicken life is messy.

Carry on.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Even chicken life is messy ;)

    I'm low as it goes today. Low and in mourning for things lost and never gotten. Tuesdays can be that way. Maybe I just need a coke!

    My niece has named her cat Coca Cola Princess, for reasons that surpass all understanding.

  2. Whenever I have dreams like that (where I'm stressed, anxious, running behind, unprepared, can't find something, etc., in the dream), it's usually because I have to pee, I'm getting a migraine, or there is some other reason I really ought to wake up.

    Coke lady ... yeah, just like "Prayer works" and "the Lord saved his life" ... except when it doesn't and didn't.


  3. I would love to get rid of so much of my shit. Fashion is of little interest to me and I would be quite happy to own a few pairs of pants and 7 or 8 shirts. Just enough to get me through to laundry day. Don't think I would want to have just a mat to sleep on though. Oh, how I love my bed!

  4. I thought Cokes was southern for all types of soda pop?

  5. She could be right, I think Coke leaches all the vitamins out of you. Presumably your bones and all.

    A walking stick the size of a whale dick is a new one on me :) When I was a pre teen (well, and a teen, too, full disclosure) I used to watch a rural Australian soap called Home and Away, and everyone called each other dorks all the time. I was finally surprised to discover elsewhere that 'dork' means whale penis!

  6. still stuck on whale dick. now there's an image.

    isn't it interesting how some days our homes just feel warm and cozy and lovely and some days we want to throw everything away? since it's not happening to me at this moment i can see very clearly that it is our heads that change and not our external circumstances. You have a beautiful warm home filled with love. You'd miss your things if you threw them out. I hope tomorrow will be better.

    and the 97 year old whose book I'm writing lived and worked in nyc for one year and decided very surely that it was not for her. but if you came to nyc i would definitely make sure no one stalked you or drew a knife on you. just as i know you'd keep me safe from pythons and bears in lloyd.

    Tomorrow is another day, my love.

  7. SJ- I am SO sorry! Yes, maybe a coca-cola would help. That IS an interesting cat name.

    Kate- I just have these dreams all the time.
    And I'm sure that Coke isn't good for us but Jesus. It's not the root of all osteoporosis.

    Birdie- I love my bed too! I couldn't give that up.

    Not Blank- I've heard that too but have never actually heard it used that way. The south is a big place and there is room for many different ways to do and speak of things.

    Jo- I'm not defending Coke. I'm just saying that there are many, many factors which affect bone density. This woman always has THE answer for everything. She has never had an uncertain moment in her life.

    Angella- I thought of you when I woke up from that dream. Yes! We would protect each other from perceived and false dangers.
    You're right about my kitchen but honest to god. I have stuff I haven't used in decades. I need to let it go!

  8. Hahahaha. This made me laugh hysterically. I may be losing it.

  9. Denise- Thank GOD someone found this funny. I thought it was hysterical. I mean- the pig scared the horse which fell on her? Maybe I'm losing it too.

  10. Well, this should go down in the annals.

    I'm sitting here in my cottage in the Pacific Northwest laughing. I love you.

  11. I too thought that this was hysterical . It's like the crazier you feel sometimes the more you let your writing go and what comes out is sheer brilliance. I don't think you said you felt crazy though. I think you know what I mean. I loved this post.

  12. A walking stick the size of a whale dick! A vivid image if ever there was one.

  13. Life IS messy, for chickens and people! I love the "walking stick the size of a whale dick." Now THAT is a fabulous image, even though I don't really know how big a whale dick is or what it looks like. I can imagine.

    You're making me want to go clean out our stuff, too. Problem is, Dave won't let me get rid of anything of his!


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