Friday, July 31, 2015

Anxiety Brain

We leave tomorrow therefore I am insane today.
Sometimes I just really get tired of being crazy. I think that I do this to myself. Well, obviously it is my brain attacking my brain so yes, I do.
I have already asked Mr. Moon about three times if he doesn't think we should just "stay home."

A few moments ago I watched Mick displaying his fancy dance stuff to Lisa Marie. He hasn't tried to jump on her but it's as if suddenly she's come onto his radar. He did a little two-step around her and he's watching her carefully. While this was going on, Elvira was up on a chair back, observing. When she flew down, Lisa Marie hurried over to her and they did a little tiny bow-up. No real pecking or anything, but almost a mime of that challenging behavior.
I wonder if Elvira's mostly-white coloring will ensure that Mick doesn't try to mate her.
We shall see.

I just saw a meme on Facebook that said, "A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there."
Oh, how I beg to disagree. My comfort zone is green and growing and healthy and busy and a happy, happy place.
Oh wait- does that mean that I won't grow here?
Well, that's a possibility.

How much more growing do I need to do at this age?
Why won't the world just give up on me? Can't I just perfect the crazy and halfway functional state I'm in?

And you know that in two days I'll never want to leave Roseland. It will have become my comfort zone.

And so it goes. I step carefully from one comfortable place to another, one known and loved place to another, as if I were stepping on flat rocks to cross a river.

Y'all go ahead and jump in rafts and go the white-water route and I'll go my way and I'll probably have the coffee on and the grits cooking when you get there.
It takes all kinds.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. You can grow perfectly well in your comfort zone. People like to say stuff that sounds profound, and they always have me going as well, believing them for a bit (like the anti-compliments woman). Here's a bit that I try to live by just now: 'If it hurts, it may not be good for me.' I hope your trip is all kinds of comfort!

  2. Sometimes I can talk myself out of going to the movie theater with a friend or hubby. It's always the anticipation of crowds, or even worrying that we'll get there late. Same with barbecues, birthday parties, and the like. And being with family doesn't make things easier. For instance, our son, who lives out in the country, is having a hog roast tomorrow. First, I worried about the ungodly heat and humidity, and how I'd be sweating my ass off. Then I found out there would be about 50 people there, and I flat out decided I'm not going. My comfort zone is Palmetto, Florida, which is where I'll be three months from today. I hope your trip is full of magic and peace!

  3. Why won't the world just give up on me? Can't I just perfect the crazy and halfway functional state I'm in?

    That made me LOL. :) And yes, you're right, in two days it'll have been a heavenly trip and you'll be walking on air. I've got your number, lady :)

    Love you.

  4. Sometimes I think discomfort and effort are the things I fear most.

    I'm just reading this -

    It has things to teach us.

  5. traveling makes me anxious. well, not the actual traveling, the days leading up to it.

  6. I don't like travel but I've noticed I'm usually glad I went. But, but, but ... I don't like going! But ...

    I hear you.

  7. I think there are many more of us who are like you than you ever imagined! I think it's completely normal to feel anxious when going away from home. I don't consider myself at all crazy! I know you will have a truly wonderful holiday and will return, bubbling over with the excitement of it all!!

  8. Oh love I hope the anxiety disappears as soon as you hit the road.

  9. It is always thus, anxiety before travel. We share this. The moment you are packed and dressed and sitting in the car, all will be well. I promise.

  10. Mwa- That should be embroidered on a pillow! Whoever came up with that "no pain, no gain" bullshit is not my friend. No pain...NO PAIN!
    Thank you.

    Catrina- I hear you, friend. Yes ma'am, I do.

    SJ- I know you do. There is no doubt about that!

    Jo- Good luck with that one!

    Ellen Abbott- I can't even put my finger on what it is that makes me so anxious. But whatever it is, it's for real. This too shall pass.

    jenny_o- Exactly.

    Desiree- You are right. I hear you. Thank you.

    Radish King- I am taking the Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings Reader to read out loud to my husband as we travel. That is one of my favorite things about our trips. It will be fine. I know it. Thank you, love.

    Angella- Yes. And I always think of you when I start to panic and how you do this too. And it helps so much.

  11. You will have a lovely time, I know. I am a lot like you just wanting things to be the same same and being happy with that. Anxiety sets in with change until it gets going and then it's fine. Much like what Angella said. I wish you a release of the anxiety anyway.

  12. I love my comfort zone. It is the place where I can relax and just breathe. A lot grows there.

  13. I don't think I'm going to make it into the open water, much as part of me would love to, but given that I feel the same way about all the other things I have to do every day, I think it's really good brain psychology to know!

  14. Roseland IS your comfort zone. I think it's just the getting there that's difficult -- the surrender of control to the uncertain circumstances of traveling. You think?

  15. As Steve said, the going is the hard part for me. Once I am somewhere, I am okay at least for a few days. But I don't want to go on another trip without my darling C. It is lonely by far without her.


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