Friday, July 10, 2015

Lagniappe: Trash Adventures In Lloyd

Okay. So I went down to the trash and recycle depot today and I noticed about a dozen big net bags of Vidalia onions sitting on the side of the trash container where, as I have mentioned, we set things we don't want but that someone may be able to use. I have seen books there and baby seats and clothes and all sorts of things but I'd never seen Vidalia onions.
Y'all know what they are, right?
Big, sweet onions grown in Vidalia, Georgia and they go for a pretty penny in the store and these bags were the size you'd get at Costco.
The man who works at the trash depot was sitting in his little shed where he watches TV and has an AC and he yelled out to me, "Hey young lady! Take some Vidalia onions!"
"What's the deal with those?" I asked him.
"Get one free, get another free! I just ate one. They're great."
"Who brought 'em?" I asked.
"A lady I know. Some tomatoes were stored on top of them and some of them rotted and the juice dripped on them but they're fine. Seriously. I just ate one."
And somehow, I just couldn't bring myself to take a bag. And I sort of felt like a snob about it or something but thinking about it later I thought, "Okay, a man who works at the trash depot which stinks to high goddam heaven all the time ate an onion and thought it was great. Is that really a valid recommendation?"

And they probably were fine and the guy who works there is fine and I'm not a snob but seriously...


Thanks, though, for the offer!

And just an FYI: If you see a metal trash can at the trash depot and it looks almost brand new and you think to yourself, "Jeez, I could use one of those," you might not want to get out of your car and open the lid.

Christ. I have no idea what that was in the bottom of that can but I wish I'd never opened that lid.


  1. Sounds like the onions would have been the better choice. Sorry about the bad luck with the metal trash can. Too funny. Take care Ms. Moon.

  2. Hee hee...reminds me of an old commercial where two college aged guys in a car pick up a chair that looks great sitting on the curb....then you see them sniffing the air..and they look at each other with dawning horror....and in the last scene you see them driving away quickly after dumping the chair back where they found it!

  3. Who just eats an onion?!

  4. Heartinhand, apparently my father in law did. Like an apple. AND he had no teeth - !!

    Mary, I think I'll learn from this, and not open trash cans sitting around at the recycling centre :)

  5. OMG.
    That was an adventure.
    Maybe it was the thing from Elizabeth's conch shell.

  6. Mr. Shife- Thank you, sir!

    Jennifer- I remember that commercial too. I think it was for some sort of VW. Yep. Been there. Done that.
    People throw shit away for a good reason sometimes.

    Elizabeth- GOOD!

    Heartinhand- That, too, must be taken into consideration.

    Jo- And these onions are very sweet. So yes, some people do. Not me.

    Denise- If so, it had putrified.

    jenny_o- I do love to make people laugh.

  7. Ha! I thought sure you were going to say you took them. I think I'd have taken them, but then, I appall Dave sometimes with the things I salvage.

  8. We have had maggots in the bottom of our green bin (used for kitchen waste). It makes me almost pass out.

    I would have passed on the onions.

  9. I am not much for smelly nasty things. But I have cleaned my share of dirty trash cans and such. I think that the onions would have been okay though.


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