Saturday, July 11, 2015

Beat Your Stud On The Ground

Okay. So I HATE it when bloggers say something so fucking cryptic that you're like, "Hey! Either tell us what's going on or just don't mention it."
Well, yeah. But sometimes I just get a little hazy on what I should write about and what I shouldn't and yet, y'all know if I leave out huge blocks of time or something. After all these years, we just absolutely KNOW each other.

So, before I jump into everything let me just ask WHEN DID MR. MOON AND I BECOME THE CUTE COUPLE?
Holy fuck. I remember (and I am not making this up) when we walked into a casino in the Bahamas together once and action in the place completely halted. There was silence as everyone watched us. Yeah, yeah, he was seventeen feet tall but I was blonde and gorgeous and together we were pretty darn good-looking.
So twice in the last two days, complete strangers have asked us how long we've been together (and there was the other incident the a few weeks ago) and then proceeded to tell us how cute we are.
Ugh. I have a visceral reaction to that because my grandfather, when he felt that my grandmother had said something idiotic would say to her, "Oh, Mother. You're so cute."
Even as a child who did not know the word condescending, I know that was wrong.
So, yeah. Now we're cute. You know why? Because we kiss. And hold hands. And shit like that.
And cute to me implies old and well, old. Maybe a little silly.
The two people who asked us this in the last twenty-four hours were both in an MRI place. One, a tech, the other a woman in the waiting room.
Because yes, we have been to an MRI place twice in the last day and that's sort of what's going on. Part of it.
Mr. Moon has something going on with his lower legs as to muscle and nerves and we need to find out what's going on in order to get 'er all fixed up. And no, I don't think it's a disease process (and the neurologist agreed) but more of a situation where there is nerve entrapment or something like that.
Thus, the MRI's.
Neither of us, of course, has ever had an MRI. And Mr. Moon's one true Achilles heel is being in small and enclosed spaces. Which of course is what an MRI is all about. That and the incredibly loud noises and don't go in there if you have a pacemaker because YOU WILL DIE!
So this was all new to us and it took quite a bit of calming medication but he got through it and so that is done.
This is a process and together we shall get through it and I know it.
My husband is the absolute strongest and bravest man I know. Despite his proclivity to pass out at the sight of blood, I have seen him run to be the first at the scene of an accident more than once. He has opened businesses, run them, faced the deaths of his parents and his sister, been there for me far more than any spouse should have to be, and been the very source of strength and love for this family.
Plus, he can carry his jon boat in his own two arms and do CPR on a baby chicken. Not at the same time.

Look- no man is perfect but he's as perfect as I've ever met and we're going to do this thing by god and we may look cute but we are a fucking strong team and we love each other and we kiss in public and I am going to die before he does and when I do, he's going to have an entire notebook full of suitable women to marry because I have a sign-up sheet on a clipboard with a pen tied to it with a string and there are plenty of names of women just waiting for me to kick the bucket.

Unless, of course, we both turn out to be the first two people in the history of the world to be immortal.
Not really counting on that one.
But as far as I'm concerned, he is, and let us carry on and do what must be done.
He's promised me a trip to Cozumel next year and by god, he's going to take me and that's all there is to it.

Oh- and the title to this post? Well, we were on our way home this afternoon and Jason called with questions about something he's trying to fix on his mom's car and Mr. Moon looked up a Youtube about the situation and I started to say something and he went, "Sssh!" which pissed me off and then the guy on the Youtube video said, "Then you beat your stud on the ground," and I thought, "Uh-huh. Gonna beat MY stud on the ground," and then I started laughing and then he apologized and I said, "Guess I won't have to beat my stud on the ground," and he started laughing and thank god we still make each other laugh.
Yeah. We are silly. So what?
And THEN when he was talking to Jason again he said something about "loosening the nuts" and I started giggling again. In developmental stages, I think I can safely say that I am at least one step above the poop level.
And now I have a new favorite thing to say which is, "I'm going to beat my stud on the ground," and let's hope it never comes to that.

Happy Saturday night.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Well, all the bet for the lower legs there stud! It's so cool that people get to see what true affection in a long term relationship looks like, in my humble opinion, so keep on shmoozing cuties!

  2. Hi. I'm back, sort of.

    BUT there are several condescending words associated with us older types, Cute is one.

    But how about spry? Frisky?

    I think you and Mr Moon are gorgeous, btw. And if I were straight, you'd have to put me on the clipboard. At the top.

    XXXXXXX Beth

  3. Big Mamabird- We will. I promise.

    Beth Coyote- Honey, you would not be the first woman on the clipboard list who is not straight. Trust me.

  4. You're making me smile again :)

    Except for the part about Mr Moon's legs. That's making me frown. Sending good wishes your way for that.

  5. I know the MRI FEAR ugh. All will be well. It's good to know you two are out there being spectacular. And I agree with The Coyote. Cute spry etc. Gag. I'd say what you two are is goddamned lucky.

  6. I am not liking "you look good for your age", or "you ride well for your age", or things like that. How about we all just drop the "for your age." You and Mr. Moon make a handsome couple.

  7. Jenny_o- Thanks, sugar. We'll be fine. I know it.

    Rebecca- We are. Also...still in love.
    Which makes us, yes, lucky.

    Allison- Seriously. "For your age." Fuck that.

  8. You guys are way too gorgeous to be cute.

  9. To Cozumel. May all be well.

  10. The two of you are not cute. Not at all. Mr. Moon reminds me of my own dad. Strong and handsome and looks more handsome with each passing year. And you! You are a smokin' hot woman who looks nothing like any grandma I ever knew. You are a hot looking couple.

    Keep us posted about Mr. Moon.

  11. I am sorry to hear about Mr Moon's legs and hope all will be well and soon. I agree with the one who says you make a gorgeous couple. 😻

  12. I'm not in the medical field, but Mr. Moon could have deep vein thrombosis (aka DVT), and it can be treated with meds. I hope you get a diagnosis and treatment plan soon. As for YouTube, my son and hubby call themselves YouTube experts, because you can learn to do anything from YouTube. Have a good Sunday...temps here today are to be around 94-96, with the same in humidity. And that good old heat index should be around 104. Welcome to the Midwest!

  13. Speedy recovery to your stud and may you remain beautiful and handsome and in love forever.

  14. my sister is claustrophobic too and she also had to have one of the MRIs. Not pretty. anyway, I hope it is something that is easily taken care of.

  15. Super picture of you both! I hope you soon get answers to what is causing your husband's discomfort. It's always the waiting and not knowing part that is the hardest. Big hug.

  16. I hope all turns out well with Mr. Moon's legs. We shush each other around here all the time, maybe I will work on that. Gail

  17. Mmm, beating your stud on the ground. Uh huh.

    You two are far from cute. Inspirational and aspirational and beautiful, maybe, but I wouldn't ever have said cute. Feh. People.

    I truly sympathise with Mr M's claustrophobia. I once saw a programme about phobias that made people get into an MRI machine and look at pictures of their phobic thing up close so the scientists could tell what areas of their brains reacted (turns out, imagination centre, not fear centre, figures). But some brave person looked at spiders while in there. Arachnobobia and Claustrophobia would be my two biggest issues - no way in HELL could I do that.

  18. Well, first you'd have to pick that stud up, all seventeen feet of him, so I don't think he's too worried. You two are scorching hot, is what. Handsome and beautiful, but it's the love that people can't look away from. Their vocabulary might be limited, but it's the love they want to bask in. I'm sure of it.

    Sending healing thoughts for your man's long well loved legs.

  19. Well, there are worse things than cute. I'd take it as a compliment, even a slightly condescending one. :)

    I'm glad this doesn't look like a disease process. It sounds like something that can be sorted out, or will sort itself out. I know it must be a little scary, though.

  20. I hope that Mr. Moon will be okay. I wonder if he has ever had sciatica--that is really more of a pain in the leg, like deep bone pain. I had it about a year ago and it was miserable. Anyway, I think that both of you are magnificent. Sorry to not have been around much. So many things happening.

  21. sending you and your beloved healing thoughts.
    And much love.

  22. Denise- We are in Mexico. Or at least I feel that way when I'm there.

    A- Yes!

    Birdie- I will indeed keep you posted. And thank you for those sweet words.

    Joanne- We're going to get this figured out. I swear.

    Catrina- No. Pretty sure it's not DVT as he'd probably be dead by now if it were. This has been going on for some time.
    I had to look up a youtube to see how to operate an animal trap. By god, I found one!
    And yes, we are having similar weather. I feel sorry for both of us!

    Sabine- Your lips to god's ear. Thank you.

    Ellen Abbott- Me too!
    And frankly, I don't think I'd like to get an MRI either. Nope.

    Desiree- That is the truth!

    Gail- It's RUDE! We shouldn't do it. Except in an emergency.

    Jo- Oh my god! That's insane!

    Angella- Aw. You're right. I just would not be able to beat my stud on the ground. Nor would you be able to beat yours on the ground! Good thing for them, right?
    I love you. You know that.

    Steve Reed- Yep. A little scary.
    I guess it's just from me hearing my grandfather say that to my granny that gives me such a negative feeling about it. Children and puppies are cute. Adults really should not be labeled as such.

    Syd- He did have sciatica years ago but this isn't like that. He is having no pain at all. Don't apologize for living your full life! Ever!
    You will always be a brother of mine in some way.

    Liv- Thanks, sugar.

    Yobobe- You are precious. Thank you.

  23. But he talks non stop sometimes, I know still not ok. Gail

  24. Gail- Okay. Sometimes it's okay. Can you just like reach out and touch his arm and say, "Baby?" If that doesn't work, just sssh him.

  25. I do the touch arm thing when we are with people. At home he will ask me to watch something on TV then talk through the whole thing. I guess if that our biggest problem we are lucky, we have been married 31 years. Gail

  26. Gail- We learn to just deal with it. Right? And it's usually not that hard.

  27. Fun loving and devoted is what I would say, and I hope you both enjoy Cozumel and that Mr. Moon's problem is quickly sorted. Best to you both.

  28. Thanks for sharing about Mr. Moon. We'll all travel along with you as usual.

    "In developmental stages, I think I can safely say that I am at least one step above the poop level." I straddle the line between poop/farts and puke/boogers.

  29. Well first of all best wishes to you and your stud on the ground.

    We had a drippy sausage here, which is now the phrase of choice around here. X

  30. Oh and I have been stressing for years about potentially ever being stuck in one of those tubes. Totally get that.


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