Sunday, April 27, 2014

Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch

Porch plants watered, garden sprinkler going, baby chickens fed grapes, laundry going and going, bamboo kicked. I cannot keep up with this bamboo. Two days away and some of it is as tall as I am.

In chicken news, Drogo is now growing his wattle and when I fed them their grapes, he tid-bitted. Yep. He's a boy.
I can't wait to hear his first attempts at adolescent, voice-cracking crowing. When Lis and I were at River Lily, one of the ladies working there and I got into a discussion about our chickens. She has babies about the same age as mine and as Lis said, we got into a chicken mind-meld. We were ALL about it. I resisted temptation fiercely and did not show her pictures of my birds. It's funny. I can totally get the fact that strangers really don't need to see pictures of my grand children but for some reason, it seems more acceptable to show them pictures of my chickens.

I picked some kale and some baby collards that have not yet bolted. And get this- I am going to motherfucking massage that shit for a salad. I can't believe this. And yet, well, get out the olive oil and salt. Stand back. Greens massaging will now begin.

Lord. What have I become? Next thing you know, I'll be making raw nut butters and making my own tempah from organic non-GMO soybeans I grow myself.

Don't hold your breath though. Seriously. I'll let you know how much the collards and kale enjoy the massage.

Yours truly...Ms. Moon


  1. Elizabeth- I'm not sure but I think I'm supposed to be playing Enya as I do it.

  2. I always massage my greens. I hope that sounds kind of dirty.

  3. Fuck. I wrote Enya and got auto corrected.

  4. Rebecca- Haha! I was like, Kenya? Autocorrect is the best of times and the worst of times. I wonder what Dickens would have done with it. And I did feel a little, uh, shady? as I massaged my kale and collards. Uh, yeah, honey. How does that salt feel? That olive oil? Is that good for you? I can't wait to eat you....

  5. I wish someone --anyone-- paid half as much attention to me as people seem to do to their kale. I swear.

    I bought spinach at the farmers market today and that made me feel virtuous. Next step? Actually EATING it.

    There will be no massages involved.

  6. I don't know how to massage greens. I do have some baby kale though.

  7. Syd a wee bit of salt and olive oil and just rub into kale. I don't think spinach needs it. But I think we at least here in Seattle are required to eat at least 45 pounds of kale a week. Just rub the kale leaves between your fingers. The olive oil and salt (kosher) make it almost edible!

  8. I massaged my collards salad with my homemade tahini dressing. It thanked me by being delicious.

  9. Oh no!!! Radish King tell me it isn't so. We'll be in Seattle for two months this summer - that is a lot of kale I will have to consume.
    Ms. Moon, are the two roosters going to have to fight for mating rights?

  10. Is Drogo a Baggins or are my brain synapses misfiring?

  11. I have never in my life heard of massaging greens. That's a new one on me.

  12. SJ- Sometimes just buying certain foods make me feel virtuous.

    Syd- Well, google that shit. Or just see what Rebecca said in the next comment.

    Rebecca- What is the fucking deal with kale? What about the collards, mustards, turnips, beets, spinach greens? Are we to ignore their beauty and flavors and nutrients now? I'm a southern girl. I need my collards and mustards.
    What you said about the oil and salt making kale almost edible cracked me up.

    Denise- Very nice!

    Allison- Not sure how this rooster thing is going to work out but I'm pretty sure that if Drogo goes after any of Elvis's hens, there's going to be feathers flying.

    Asheville Cabbie- Drogo is a character in Game of Thrones.

    Steve Reed- It's a thing. Honest to god.

  13. I would love to grow some bamboo. I wonder if I could?!
    Kale is only good in a smoothie where you can't taste it, or chopped up so fine and slathered with raspberry vinegrette. Health food: why ya gotta be so gross?!

  14. heartinhand- I have no idea. Google? Yeah. Health Food- what's up with you?


    ps. On the other hand you can smoke all the pot you want so maybe if you get hungry enough...

    psps. I have smoked a large amount of pot in my time though not for many years. Still I don't think there is enough pot in the world to make me like Kale though I eat it because I live in Seattle and there actual KALE POLICE who come to your house and test your kale levels to make sure you are complying. Seriously.

  16. Rebecca- Can you dry kale and roll it in a paper and smoke it?


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.