Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Hanging in and hanging on and it's all back, full-force and I don't want to talk about it but I have increased the dosage of my antidepressant and I've taken a walk and cleaned out the hens' nests and taken trash and the boys will be here this afternoon which is good.

At least I know I can survive it. At least I know it can go away as surely as it comes. At least I know that I am here somewhere and I guess this knowledge helps.


  1. Oh, Mary. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

    Don't give up. It will get better. It will.

    I am sending you strength and love.

  2. I am sorry you are going through this. I cannot tolerate the antidepressants, they make me feel like "I am in the agitate portion of the wash cycle". I take xanax and it is not working nearly as well as it should. I wish there was an answer to all this anxiety and panic. Gail

  3. Just to let you know darling Mary you are not alone and that's all I can tell you.

  4. Dammit. So sorry to hear that it's back. I hope it is short lived, cyclical or hormonal at the worst, and just a blip on the amazing ride that is your life. I wish you peace and happiness and maybe some charlotte's web. I've been wondering a lot lately what else CBD might be useful in treating. I'm really tired of wine and xanax to help me over the worst of the humps.

    Let this too change. xo

  5. Thinking of you, one day sometime soon, looking back and saying, hah!

    Be gentle with yourself.

  6. Me too. Perhaps you're sharing my PMS this week. I'm having sort of emotional panic attacks, perhaps they are. I wish I could just sleep through the next week. Just ... keep going. Out the other side.

  7. Just stopping by again to let you know that I was thinking about you. No words. Just love. I hope that helps the teensiest bit. xo

  8. Hang in there. Sending you good vibes from my part of the world.

  9. Stay the course. Keep writing. Breathe. Know that you are loved, and that love is there to hold you.

    Even though I'm not, at the moment standing on the bridge and staring into the water, I listened to this last night and found some good stuff in it! I hope you do too.

  10. We are here. Let's hold hands. Love.

  11. Birdie- I think of you so often. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    Gail- There has to be a better answer. There just has to be.

    Rebecca- When you tell me things like that, I cry but I need to cry so thank you.

    Mel- You saved my life again today. I can't tell you how grateful I am for you. I would definitely try CBD. How could it hurt?

    Jill- I know. It's okay. I'll live.

    Sabine- I am. Being as gentle with myself as I can be. I want to look back and say, "HaH!" so much.

    Jo- I, too, thought of how wonderful it would be to just sleep for a week. I thought of it today. I understand.

    jo(e)- I appreciate that. A lot.

    Denise- I haven't watched it yet. I wil. Thank you.

    Angella- Yes. Please. Love.


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