Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Another Sort Of Just Being

That should have been a picture of Owen and Gibson sitting on the Easter Bunny's lap but no, that picture didn't happen. And so I'm giving you one of me in the restroom of the mall, talking to Owen whom you cannot see.
Yeah, just about the time I was all set to cozy in and have a lazy day the opportunity arose to go to the mall with my grandkids to see the Easter Bunny. So I got dressed and drove to town which was fraught with danger in that I practically forded two rivers to get there, both times thinking, "What? Am I nuts? I'm going to short this car out."
The road I live on which is part of the back way to town is famous for flooding and why I hadn't remembered that is beyond me. But the good news is that on Lily's road, a turtle was making his way across the street and I stopped the car and got out and moved him to the side where he was headed. He did not say thank-you.

So we went to the mall and the Easter Bunny was there along with a most disgruntled-looking assistant who, in a matter of a moment or so, went from disgruntled to downright surly. The Easter Bunny waved at the kids and Gibson was enchanted but Owen was NOT.
"I don't want to talk to him. He's the old bunny. I want to see the new bunny."
The bunny was wearing wire-frame glasses which did sort of age him.
Gibson, being two and open to such nonsense, climbed up on the bunny's lap. Owen hung back.
"I think he's probably fake," he told me.
"Mmmm," I said, trying not to take any real side on the matter.
I stepped forward to snap a shot of Gibson on the bunny's lap.
"NO PRIVATE PHOTOGRAPHY!" the assistant yelled at me. I put my phone away.
She was not suited to this position. At all.
We left the Bunny Bin or whatever the fuck they call it and walked across the mall to the playground. I stopped at the Starbucks to get Lily and me a coffee. They were wearing shiny pink ties at the Starbucks. The employees, at least.
"Are those for Easter?" I asked the barista.
"No! These are for our new delicious bakery line!"
"Huh," I said.
"Yes! The CEO of the company went to a bakery in San Francisco and he loved their food so much he bought the place!"
"Yeah, that's what happens when you have all the money in the world," I said.
I was not impressed nor did I order any of their delicious croissants.

Lily came strolling back with the boys. "The playground's closed."
"For cleaning."
To help the children with their despair over not being able to play at the rather hideous play place, Lily bought them chocolate milk. We strolled about for a little while and then decided to leave which was not part of Owen's plan. He cried and cried.
In the car he finally settled down a bit and in the smallest voice I've ever heard come out of him he said, "We could go to the mastodon museum."
Lily and I looked at each other like, "Who said that?"
We discussed the museum idea but it was way past lunch time and Lily still had to pay a bill and they had to be home to get ready for Tae Kwon Do before too long. So, no mastodon museum.
As would be expected, another fit occurred.


We finally ended up at a Mexican restaurant where I ate a luncheon special #24, having no idea what I was getting and not really caring by that time either. It was not something I would normally eat but of course it was tasty and I ate it. The boys by this time were being good and actually, Gibson had been fine all day. Good-kid/bad-kid is a strategy these children employee regularly. I think they draw straws to get to see who gets to be bad-kid.
We finished lunch and went back to Lily's and I came on home and made extremely healthy soup for our supper tonight to off-balance the whatever-it-was I ate at the restaurant. It is simmering in preparation for Mr. Moon's return.

The rain has cleared and now it is getting cold. It's supposed to get in the thirties tonight.
This is a crazy spring and today turned out to be a crazy day but it was pretty much fun and I felt very trippy in the mall where I hadn't been in so long I'd forgotten what it was like.
I'll tell you what it's like: Trippy.
With lots and lots of stuff to buy.

Well, that pretty much sums it up. Didn't drown, didn't get any Easter Bunny pictures, didn't get to play, didn't die.

Not too bad.


  1. I kind of hate the Easter bunny

  2. Are you sure the surly Easter Bunny assistant wasn't David Sedaris?

    You NEED to ride down Miccosukee Road - there's a church on the left hand side of the road (if you're headed to town before you get to Capital Circle) that has a very clever Easter saying on their changeable sign: For all you do, his blood's for you.

    I almost wrecked laughing at that one.

  3. I'm tellin' you Owen comes up with the wisest things. Deciding the Easter Bunny was old is a very "Owen" statement. Love it.

    I imagine you'll sleep well tonight!

  4. I decided that the easter bunny was one fantasy character too many so while they were growing up my kids didn't even know he existed and kept asking what the heck their friends were talking about come easter. i continued to feign ignorance.

  5. Giant Easter bunnies are so very creepy. You know what? That photo of you in the bathroom is good! At risk of being superficial, I think you've lost weight. You've written that others might not notice, but I certainly do. AND, you've got to be the youngest looking grandmother in town. So there.

  6. I tried to take a photo of a real live bunny with purple flowers behind it--perfect!!!--then the bunny ran right before I clicked.

  7. We do not do Easter Bunny visits here. I've seen enough freaky ass pictures of traumatised crying children on Donny Darko scary bunny laps to be glad of that fact!

    Poor Owen. I hope he gets to go see mastadons soon!

  8. saying thanks on behalf of the turtle.


  9. I'm grouchy for the second day in a row so it shouldn't surprise you to hear me say I hate everything about Easter except for the chocolate.

    You got rain, we got snow. FML doesn't even cover how I feel.

  10. Birdie- The Easter Bunny makes no sense except as a fertility symbol and thus, should be a female anyway.

    Jucie- Haha! That's hysterical! And worth a trip to take a picture. Thanks for the heads-up. And yeah, I'm pretty sure that assistant wasn't Dave Sedaris unless he's recently become a 19-year old chick with a bad weave.

    Jill- His mind goes places I can't even imagine.

    Angella- I love you even more for that! "One fantasy character too many." Amen.

    Elizabeth- Thank you. At the risk of ME being superficial, I really appreciate that.

    Denise- It was still a great shot though.
    Sort of perfect if you consider that fact that we're not really supposed to see the Easter Bunny.

    Jo- Oh, he'll get to see the mastodons soon. It's weird how much I hate Easter (the Christian version, at least) but don't mind the whole egg and bunny thing at all. Also, sometimes there is ham.

    Mrs. A- You are welcome! One should save every turtle one is allowed to save.

    heartinhand- I like the chocolate okay but it is the ham that makes me happiest.
    Y'all need to stop getting snow. It's starting to really bother ME. I hope you get spring for sure soon and that you can start to feel better.

  11. I don't know what to ask first - you have a mastadon museum (did I miss that post?) or you have a chicken shirt?!?!? And yes, mall Easter Bunnies and Santas always freaked me and my kids out.

    Thank goodness the kids take turns being out of sorts. And every kid has a few bad days, mine were worst just before colds or in growth spurts. I never could deal with them crying, still can't!

    Travelling back to the homeland tomorrow, wondering how to celebrate Easter without feeling like a hypocrite.

    I love your last sentences, and lately with my travels and my inevitable freak outs and screw ups I tell myself something similar too, that nobody died and it's only money.

  12. Well, I haven't eaten meat in a long, long time, but I still remember my mother's hams with marashino cherries, pineapple rings and cloves and honey, maybe... it was so good.

  13. From reading your post, I assume you went to Governors Square. I might suggest to my daughter-in-law to see if they have a friendlier bunny at Tallahasse Mall, although as empty as that mall is getting, they might not even have one!

  14. Mel- Not exactly a mastodon museum. It is a museum of Florida history but there is a beautiful skeleton of a mastodon that they found in Wakulla Springs.
    Celebrate Easter the way I do- with the joy of spring and the rebirth of every living plant and so forth and so on. Of course you do that already.
    And hell yes- even if nobody dies and it's only money it can still be stressful as hell.
    And it makes my stomach hurt when the boys cry. Literally.

    Jo- If only pork didn't come from a living animal. It is just the best thing.

    Lois- Yes. Governor's Square mall. And the bunny was fine. It was just the girl assistant who was terrifically unsuited for that job.

  15. Mr. Downtown and Mel- Dammit, that was the main thing I meant to reply to Mel! Yes! Hank made me two of those gorgeous chicken shirts and I love them. There is a rooster and a moon. Special orders?

  16. I suppose NO PRIVATE PHOTOGRAPHY is allowed because they want you to buy their own ridiculously overpriced photos. I don't get the point of sitting on the Easter Bunny's lap, anyway. I mean, with Santa, you're asking for stuff -- what are you supposed to be telling the Easter Bunny?

  17. I didn't do the Easter Bunny thing as a kid. We did like to have the egg hunts though. Sorry that Owen didn't have plans go as expected. The mastodon museum sounded good.


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