I did not take one dang picture today but there's a picture of my O-Boy that I stole from Lily's Facebook post with pictures of all the kids on their first day of school. He looks so much like his mama that it astounds me. Can you believe he's going to be eleven soon? Somehow, as impossible as that is, it's even more unbelievable to me that he was ever the darling little baby boy I took care of and loved and sang to and played with and told stories to and read books to. I remember feeling this way about my children as they grew. Like- Who came and stole my babies and replaced them with these kids?
I just went back to the year Owen was born and found this picture.
Owen looked amazed and bewildered and I looked cute. Lord, I had no idea how cute I was a mere eleven years ago. Owen was pretty cute too. He still is. He still very much is.
So. Another exhausting day. I walked another two miles and then I went to Costco and Publix again because we'd run out of things that I consider essential like milk and Honey Nut Cheerios. That's what Mr. Moon eats for breakfast most weekdays. Also, I had two prescriptions to pick up at Publix. When I got in my car and started it, it informed me that the battery on my key was low and that I needed to replace it.
This car is too smart for me. I just discovered about two weeks ago that the screen which has all the information tells me which direction I'm driving in, which road I'm driving on, and what the speed limit is there. Now that part is amazing to me. And I really paid attention to it today as I was driving home from town down a little backroad where the speed limit goes from 55 to 45 to 30 when you're going through one of the bend-in-the-road communities and by golly, IT KNEW AND CHANGED EVERY TIME! HOW DOES IT KNOW?
Should I find this creepy or magical? Or both?
I have to admit that I sort of like that feature. You know how you'll be driving somewhere and suddenly you see cops and you check your speed limit and then you ask yourself, "What IS the speed limit here?" Well, now I know.
The car also beeps in warning if I drive over either the left or right boundary. Boundary? What do you call that? Edge? Center line? Mr. Moon told me that I can turn that off but I sort of like it. It's a nice challenge to try to never to hear it beep. Another thing I like a lot is how it makes a fast beeping noise if I'm in reverse and there's anything moving behind me. So if I'm pulling out of a parking space and there are blind spots and a car is coming or a person is walking, it warns me which is great because now I'm an old person and I drive like one, especially when backing up when I drive about .05 mph so that if I do happen to hit something or someone, it won't damage or kill them.
When you see someone driving low and slow and laugh about how old people drive, just remember that one of these days, if you're lucky, you will be that old person and you too, will sit low and you will drive slow because, well... I'm not sure. Mostly because you don't want to hurt anyone and that makes you overly cautious, I guess. That and not trusting yourself.
I pulled up into a parking space today at Publix and a big old utility truck backed into a space nearby as quick and neat as can be imagined and I was more impressed than if the guy had flown in on a helicopter. Mr. Moon still backs into spaces and honestly, I've NEVER done that. Lily and I have a running joke about what bad parkers we are and it's true. We are.
Boy, am I rambling tonight.
At Costco I got to see my favorite employee whom I shall not name but she always wears beautiful mermaid eye make-up. We had a three minute conversation wherein we talked about how much we hate Trump and love Obama. I teared up but that's just me. I can't stand not being able to hug Brenda. We've had a hugging relationship for years and now we can't.
Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him. Every day my anger and hatred for him get bigger and every day I realize that holding all of this anger and hatred are doing neither me nor the world any good. But I have to tell you- I am not an enlightened being. I sorta, kinda, maybe, maybe not, believe that we shouldn't put that sort of energy into the world but I also think that that's really not how it works. Sure, if you're constantly angry at everyone and everything, you make the lives of anyone around you miserable. That's a fact. But me sitting here thinking how much I hate Trump? Well, it might not be doing me any good but I seriously doubt the universe is going to be any worse off. Even writing about it and sending that out into the world isn't going to change a thing. These are just my feelings.
As an extremely non-religious person, the idea of positive or negative energy just sounds way too much like the power of prayer to me and I'm not buying any of that. If you're a loving person, I can feel it no matter how much you can't stand the president. And if you're not a loving person, I don't care what you say, I'll be able to feel that too.
Okay. I'm a cranky old mess today. I'll admit it. And I'll also admit that I don't know shit. How many times have I said that?
About a billion.
Of course, I do think I know some things but I'm willing to acknowledge that I could be wrong.
I know how to cook shrimp. I'm fairly certain I'm not wrong about that. And now, I believe I shall go cook some.
I apologize for the mess this post is. I think this is just one of those days where everything is catching up with me from the pandemic and how our country is handling it to whatever Trump said last that made me want to punch a wall. Or curl into a ball.
I should probably learn to meditate which I do believe has positive value because it's been proven. By science.
Meanwhile, here I am. Being a royal, unenlightened bitch.