Tuesday, September 29, 2020

And Yet Another Birthday


Yes! Another birthday. This time it is August's. That's what he looked like when he was fresh-born, sleeping that exhausted newborn sleep after the incredibly hard work of being born and having to learn to nurse, all in one day. If you would like to read about the day his mama had him, you can go here. 

Here's what he looked like just seconds after he was born. 


That first wondering look is the most precious thing on this earth. That gaze between mother and baby as they take each other in. The wonder is infinitesimal. 

Sometimes I think about how an entire generation was born to mothers so sedated that they couldn't even hold their own heads up, much less hold their babies after they were born. I was one of those babies. Of course, we were sedated too by the drugs they gave our mothers, and that most magical of moments was stolen from us and from our mothers and I wonder if some subconscious memory of this is what fueled so many of us to want to give birth awake and aware- somehow we knew that what had happened to us and our mothers was profoundly wrong and had had a drastic impact on our relationships from then on out. Instead of a woman's most incredible effort being rewarded with the only thing worthy of that effort- her baby- she and the child were immediately separated, the newborn whisked off to the nursery, the mother to be stitched up from the ubiquitous episiotomy. 
Can you imagine giving birth gorked out of your mind, waking up hours later and having to ask someone if you'd had a boy or a girl or, hell- if you'd had a baby at all? 

Thank goodness I have no idea what that was like. 
And neither do my daughters. At least the drugs they give now in childbirth are usually epidurals and although the mother feels no pain, she is awake and aware of everything and is capable of holding her baby. 

I did not mean to go off on that tangent. I'm sorry. I am just so damn grateful to have had the birth experiences I had which were the hardest things I ever did and the most joyous too. And to be able to share the joy of my daughters' births with them and with all of our family was something I don't even have the words to describe. 

But five years ago today, August was born into his daddy's hands and to the utter delight and wonder and joy of his aunties, everyone fully awake and so very ready to meet him. 

And what a joy that boy has been. He, like all the rest of my grandchildren, is completely himself. And how we love him! 


He and Boppy have had such a sweet relationship since the beginning. 


Jessie sent this picture in a group text today and my husband told me that he cried when he saw it. 

And now the boy is five years old. He loves tools of all kinds and projects, just like his daddy and his granddaddy. He also loves pancakes and bacon and watching TV with his Boppy. He is smart as he can be and astounds us with his questions and sometimes with his answers. Today when I was at Costco I saw an employee who used to ask August how he was doing when he was just a little tiny boy and he'd always seriously reply, "Pretty good," and she would laugh and laugh. She asked me today how we all were and I told her it was August's fifth birthday and she remembered him and told me to tell him and his mama "happy birthday" from her. 

Here he was this morning wearing his first multi-tool that he got as a present. 


He's a big guy now for sure. Isn't he beautiful? 

All day my heart has been full, thinking about that precious boy and how much I love him. He's a crackie, y'all. My beloved little crackie.

It's been a good day overall. I got my shopping done, I'm boiling peanuts and guess what? 


Our little Tweety Bird laid her first egg yesterday. 
And she laid another one today. 


It's actually a bigger egg than I thought she'd lay. That bowl holds all the eggs we gathered today. Eleven of them. Each one of them as different and distinctive as my grandchildren are. 

Are you going to watch the debate tonight? I really don't want to but I'm going to try. I'd much rather just live in this sweet dream world where there are trees and chickens and little boys having birthdays but the reality is, there is so much more going on in the world and I have to pay attention to some of it. 
I guess. 

Love...Ms. Moon 



35 comments:

  1. loved your relaying of birthing experiences......*then* versus now. Yes, babes were whisked away, Dad's not even remotely involved or present back when I and my brother were born. so much better now....it's *real*..... as it should be, with fathers so fully involved. I ponder on this much as our goddaughter (who is 29) is just 8 days away from having her own first babe......I will be a *god grandmother*......we are all so excited. And sorry, I would love to watch debate if it were not for the fact that I have to listen to the yellow detestable person......I just CAN NOT do it. I will read about it tomorrow. Happy Birthday to August......I can't believe he is 5!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Susan M

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    1. I wish the very best for your goddaughter and your soon-to-be-here godgrandmother!
      Don't apologize for not watching the debate. As I am sure you know by now, it was not fit to watch.

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  2. and PS....your eggs are a beautiful thing to behold!
    Susan M

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  3. My Mama went to her doctor two days before her due date. Doc told her the baby had died (by listening to his stethoscope), and to check into the hospital the next day for a stillbirth. My parents tore down the crib and made funeral arrangements then showed up the next day. The nuns at the hospital were so sweet to them, and Mom was whisked off for a C-Section. It was 1960 so she was unconscious for it. A nun gave her a St. Christopher medal and she went into surgery with it in her hand. Her stillborn baby was just sworn in as a Federal Judge last week, and he’s been wearing that medal around his neck for 40 years. As for the debate, hubby and I are having a drinking game. Every time the Orange Asshole lies we take a drink. I’ll be snickered by 9:15. :-)

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    1. If you actually played that game, you would have been passed out by 9:05.
      That is the most beautiful story about your brother. I am sure that it was declared a miracle and in a way, it was. The miracle of life when it was least expected.

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  4. Happy birthday to the great young man.

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  5. no debate for me, Dennis is watching. Steeped in horse manure the whole thing. I would rather think about the miracle of birthin' a baby for godsake and how they grow to be wonderful humans, Good parenting is everything.

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    1. Well, good parenting has a lot to do with it. And that is for sure. Although how my kids grew up to be so good, I do not really know...
      There was no reason to watch that debate.

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  6. It makes my skin crawl just hearing that voice so no, I won’t be watching. I don’t think it’s going to change any minds at this point, no matter the lies and deflection.
    Happy birthday August!
    Xoxo
    Barbara

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  7. I'm not watching. Id rather read your words, about love abd birth. My son was born 53 years ago, and I had what was very common in the hospital then, a totally conscious labor and delivery. The joy of seeing my boy! I was so weak from labor i couldn't hold him, so the nurse held him on ky chest. My husband was with me right to the episiotomy then he went out of the room! But he was back in minutes.

    They did whisk the baby away after a visit, and I got him back once I was cleaned up, to start nursing.

    At that hospital, it had been many years since mothers were anesthetized. Maybe it was more progressive than I knew? At any rate, mothers got to direct their experience. And yes, that moment when you see your baby and fall in love!

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    1. Was your baby born in Europe? Because that was certainly not the norm in America fifty-three years ago! Good for you! And good for that hospital!
      When you hold that child for the first time, you really do understand what love is, don't you?

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  8. Happy Birthday August! What a boy!

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  9. He is indeed a beautiful little boy.
    I have only heard a couple of clips of the debate ( on the radio during the night) . What a shambles...not so much a debate as a mud slinging session!

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    1. Or shit-slinging on the part of You-Know-Who. Dear god.

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  10. Happy birthday to August! I can't believe that was five years ago. Lord!

    I love Tweety Bird's petite little egg.

    The only thing I know about my birth is that my mom said wind came through gaps between the windows and the walls in the old Tampa General hospital building, and it was COLD. I'm assuming that was in her hospital room, and not the delivery room!

    I'm sure by now you've seen the "shitshow." Unbelievable!

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    1. Isn't that a darling egg?
      And no, I can't believe August is five either!
      Cold in Tampa! Must have been winter. And I hope that was not the delivery room!

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  11. I am a day late but belated birthday greetings to five year old August. I wonder if he will be called Gus as he grows older. By the way, why wasn't he named September after his birth month?

    I love the first pictures of him as a baby. Very special.

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    1. We started out calling him Gus but we changed to August. Not sure why. His mountain family may still call him that. I'm not sure.
      As to why they named him August- they liked the name, I think. His middle name is Glinden, named after Mr. Moon.

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  12. Happy birthday August - and love that tool belt. He'll be able to help Boppy even more now!

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    1. He told me today he's ready to help Boppy fix the play set. He's a handy guy to have around.

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  13. Happy birthday to August and yes, he was and is a beautiful little boy. I love that photo of him with his dad, both of them wearing their multi tools, and the photo of him with his poppy.

    The debate was a shit show, a dumpster fire, whatever you want to call it, but what else can you exepct with tRump involved in it. He's turned the whole country into a dumpster fire.

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    1. You're right- what else would we expect? I just kept thinking about how truculent and ugly he was. Who in the world could look at him and think that he'd be a fine president? I would not elect him to be in charge of cleaning up a dog park.
      August is quite proud of his multi-tool. As well he should be.

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  14. Happy Birthday, August! You bring a great deal of joy to your grandparents--as does Levon and the rest of your cousins.

    I'm with you on the birth scene. Had four children using Lamaze breathing only. Turned out my first son's birth (1974) was the first time the doctor or the nurses had been present for a drug free birth. Before the birth, I had told the Dr I did not want medication (allergic to all local anesthesia) and he was a tad patronizing. Told him I had a high pain tolerance and had had a root canal without any medication. All he said was that birth is different. Afterwards, I told him was right--giving birth wasn't anywhere NEAR as hard as having a root canal sans meds. Arrogant twit. :)

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    1. 1974 WAS quite early for unmedicated birth! Kudos to you, Mary! I remember that a woman I knew here in Tallahassee had a baby using Lamaze and no drugs in '75, I think, and they did an article about her in the paper!
      Now- as to the root canal without medication- are you sure you're human? Good GOD, woman!
      But you're right. That dentist was an arrogant twit.

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  15. I'm pretty sure my mother's birth experience is a big part of why we were never close. There's a lot of reasons of course, like my mother was inherently selfish, didn't really like children, and probably wanted a boy since she already had a daughter. not only was she drugged and didn't see me, when the nurse brought her to me later in the room, my mother rejected me telling the nurse that that dark haired baby couldn't possibly be hers (she and my sister were/are blond) and the nurse was so distraught that she called my doctor father who worked at the hospital to come tell her I was indeed her baby. So yeah, I wanted a very different birth experience. no drugs, probably the first mother ever that my obgyn and the hospital had that was a natural birth.

    happy birthday to August. he is indeed unique.

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    1. did not watch the debate, maybe 5 minutes and yep it was exactly what I expected...Trump interrupting, lying, bullying, refusing to abide by the rules that were agreed to, and in general being the asshole that he is.

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    2. I think that probably a lot of women doubted that they were given the right baby but it sounds like your mother was far more insistent about the idea that most! She didn't like children? Not a good way to start a relationship with your baby at all. Bless you. I'm glad you were able to turn that around when you had your own children.
      There are no words for Trump.

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  16. Nope on the debate. Yep on giving birth as the biggest ost profound thing i've ever done.Yep on the miracle of babies and their amazing little personhoods being right there.

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    1. Their amazing little personhoods completely ARE right there from the very first. We can shape them but the clay is already set.

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    2. Did you ever get the welling feeling of their personhoods being so much bigger/more than their tiny baby bodies can even contain? That happened with my second son. It was almost frightening, and very holy.

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  17. Happy birthday August! He is an August, isn’t he, not a Gus. He’s an intellect, a curious mind, and August fits that nicely.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.