Monday, March 26, 2012

Unorganized And Okay With That

Well, another beautiful day here in Lloyd and it's cooled down some again which is mighty fine because I was already thinking about putting on the "air" as we say and dammit, it's just way too early.

Doesn't look like our eggs are going to hatch and that's disappointing. What the hell do we know about egg incubation? Obviously, not enough. We'll let them sit another day or two past their due date but I'm not holding out big hope.

My anger seems to have passed and has been replaced by a vague sense of anxiety. Again, I have no idea why. I think that Mr. Moon and I need to take a little trip somewhere. We haven't been away since we got back from Mexico in January, right after New Years.
Oh. Mexico.
Did we really do that? I think about it and still feel the calm I felt there.
I just went back and read a few posts from that trip. I am a little bit weepy right now.
Excuse me.

Okay. I'm back.

Anyway, Mr. Moon and I have been talking about taking a little trip while Lily is still home with her boys. Have I already discussed this here? Forgive me. I can't remember shit these days. Anyway, Mr. Moon has been working on his Cutlass. It looks like this, only blue and a convertible:

We keep talking about taking a road trip in it but I don't know if it's anywhere near ready. Wouldn't that be fun, though? It's a big old honker thing and it uses a lot of gas.
I wonder when all the dinosaur-based fuel is going to be used up. We're doing our part in making that happen.

I don't know. I just feel like I need a time away. I need a time with just him. I need to let go of all the things I clutch so tightly to me. Too tightly, probably.

Well, in the meantime, it is lovely here in Lloyd. It surely is.

Here's my ash magnolia blossom. It's a cup now but will unfold as the day goes by. Magnolia blossoms are short-lived. That only adds to their value in my mind. You gotta pay attention or you will miss them. A good lesson.

I swear to you, I did not plant that violet there. It just planted itself.
Another good lesson, I suppose.

I went out and kicked some bamboo and some of it was about three feet tall. We haven't been paying proper attention to it which is a reminder that some things you can not pay attention to and all you'll miss is a flower, while if you ignore other things they can get totally out of hand.

I'm going to go into town and pick up my Owen boy and bring him out here to play for awhile. He needs to be the only boy every now and then. He needs his Mer-Mer and she needs him too.

I think about that and about the bamboo which needs kicking regularly right now and about the garden and how if I don't stay on top of it, the weeds are going to take it over and engulf my baby peppers, my tomatoes, my beans. I think of Lily and how she might need me and I feel guilty for even thinking about taking a trip. Even a very short one.

Well. Mer-Mer has needs too and so does Bop and what I really need to remember is that our relationship is the ground from which all of this grows. We need to cultivate it just as surely as we need to cultivate the garden. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves the time and space to be kids again, to get out on the road, leave all our cares behind and to remember what a sense of adventure is. To stay sane and laugh, to depend on each other for our joy for a few days. We always do pretty well, he and I, when traveling.

Yeah. I sort of crave that.

Okay. I'm off. My boy is waiting for me and when I pick him up, I can see my other boy. I can kiss his pretty little lips. He still lets me, having no choice in the matter.

Happy Monday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Your photo of the magnolia blossom makes my heart ache for my own magnolia tree. They are so expensive but so worth it. I predict that this time next year I'll be buying one. I want to get one that's at least 5-6 foot tall from a good nursery. :)

    Also, if you take a road trip up to my neck of the woods, please let me know. I'd love to have you guys over for dinner or at least meet at the mall for lunch or something :)

  2. I like those geographic cures. They work for me.

  3. Have a lovely day with your boy. Plan your little getaway - Mer Mer and Bop do have needs of their own.

  4. "our relationship is the ground from which all this grows" Well said. We forget sometimes how much he holds up - that gorgeous man of yours.

    Yes, go away with him and don't feel guilty, you will have many, many days to help Lily.

  5. Maybe the reason for the anxiety is gearing up for the next change in Grandma land. You will have a very wee one to take care of again, and it's been a few years since Owen was that teeny, plus Owen. That can be a challenge! I always get really weird before a big life change...?

    Of course Owen is welcome to come play with G whenever he wants to.

  6. I would suggest that you go away with your sweetheart, Put the top down on the Cutlass, and let your hair stream in the breeze. Wear your beautiful silver earrings and Marilyn sunglasses. Play Chuck Berry's "No Particular Place to Go." Have a wonderful trip!

  7. Hi dear Girl,, I really think you are suffering from anti climax syndrome... all the excitement of the recent days up to and including Griffin's birth and your studying for the play have all been passed now and so you are feeling a bit flat... good idea to have a holiday whilst you are able to , and if Mr M says its a good time, get packed and wait on the porch for the car to come round and collect you!! Have a great time away, there'll be plenty for you to do when you get back your strength up now!!

  8. sorry that should have read Gibson's birth... its my grandson who is called Griffin ha ha

  9. Mama and daddy were husband and wife first, and that needs to take precedence.

    Make plans and then keep them!

  10. Yes. I am imagining you and Mr M in that blue Cutlass with the top down tooling along a back road in the sunshine while a soft Spring breeze blows the long chiffon scarf that is tied around your neck out behind. You are both laughing and singing along to the radio, on your way to a small hotel in a great little town.

    Go, Dear One, and while you are off on your own kiss that man in a more than wifely way. x0 N2

  11. I need to wash my clothes, so any time after this weekend is good for me.

  12. Rebecca- Don't you live somewhere up north? I doubt we'll make it that far any time soon. But thanks. Why not get a baby magnolia and by the time you could afford a big one, the baby will be big?

    Syd- They are awesome. They work.
    For me, at least.

    Jeannie- No kidding!

    liv- We'll plan it. We'll do it before Lily goes back to work.

    Ms. Fleur- Thanks, honey. G is usually at school when Owen is here. The anxiety was fleeting. Thank god.

    Pamela- Yep. That right there is just about my plan. Soon!

    Janzi- Don't worry. I've called Gibson Griffin too. Ha! Anyway, yep. We'll do it.
    Love the image. Can I have a martini in my hand?

    Elizabeth- You know me all too well.

    messymimi- We will!

    N2- I will do all of that! Especially the kissing.

    DTG- Thank you, sir! I love you.

  13. My Love and I don't get too many chances to take off but I would love to. It has been forever since we had time alone...oh that sounds sad.

    Just too much old folk stuff to deal with and no money to play with.

    I'm ready for a day trip somewhere and making that special! I want to go to the coast and see some of the lighthouses...have a picnic...get some fresh clam chowder...oysters for my Love.

    Hope you get that get a way Mary, you and Mr. Moon.


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