Monday, March 12, 2012

Further Proof Of Spring

I noticed that there was actually purple on the wisteria trellis this morning and so I went out and took a snap.

The sky, as you can see, is a bit bruised this morning. Like maybe Lily's tailbone but that's another story and it involves bamboo, as does this picture.

Wisteria in the bamboo, growing wild, untamed by trellis or snips. Just growing there like the wild thing it really is. Invasive as hell, gorgeous when it blooms. It can pull down a house if you let it.
Go ahead. Make a metaphor. I'll wait.

The dogwoods are coming out white finally but they sure are taking their time. In town I see them full like clouds but here in shaded Lloyd, they are slow to fill in the spaces against the sky.

But they are beautiful whether in massive clusters or tiny tree-tied bouquets.

So back to Lily's tailbone.
Yesterday Owen wanted to play in the bamboo and so Lily went over there with him and she tried to pull down a very, very large stalk and it popped and split and she sat hard on the ground and no, labor did not start but now her tailbone hurts like crazy and she's been consulting Dr. Google and has discovered that she may have actually broken it and since they can't do an X-ray and couldn't do anything about it if she HAS broken it, she's just going to have to suffer.

Now really. Life is NOT fair. She is forty weeks pregnant today- this is her due date, and now she has a very, very painful butt bone and that's really not going to help during labor. She's resting. She is icing it. She is not complaining. She is just facing this uncomfortable new reality and she did call in to work, thank GOD. I may go to town soon to go with her to a chiropractor, to go buy Arnica. You do what you can do within the limitations of pregnancy and I would do anything to help her. I am so grateful to be able to be this close to her, both geographically and emotionally, so that I can be the mother to her I want to be. Or to try, at least. And to be the grandmother to Owen and this coming baby that I would wish for all grandchildren.

Yesterday Owen was in a dreamy-dream land of goodness, being out here but with his mama and daddy too. If Lily went out to talk to the fellas in the garage and Owen decided he wanted her, he could say, "Mama! Where you? Need you!" and we could go and find her. If he needed help he had so many arms to choose from. When it was nap time he threw a little hissy. "Owen go home, sleep Owen's bed!" he told us but we settled him down between us and I told, not the Mr. Peep story, which he did not want to hear, but a story about going to the beach and his eyes got starey and then heavy and finally his lids dropped and I kissed his perfect little mouth and Lily opened her eyes and saw that he was asleep and then we too, slept. What is it that is so perfect about sharing sleep with babies and with those you love? To be huddled up together under the covers like puppies? I don't know but it is. I pity people who don't sleep with their babies. I don't understand how they can not do that.

It's just amazing to me that I am here at this point in my life. I think about my own mother and how it was just impossible for us to have had this sort of relationship. How I fled from her house when I was eighteen and never looked back. I think of how horribly unhappy she must have been and how that unhappiness affected her life so profoundly. It still does. I wonder, over and over again what it was about her childhood that made her so perfectly able to tolerate such unhappiness for so long. I heard a woman the other day talking about a 24-year marriage she had been in with an alcoholic. A marriage that even her priest told her to get out of.
A Catholic priest!
And yet, she stayed with the man for 24 years.
What is it inside of certain people that disallow them to walk out of a door into another life?
Oh it is so easy to stay stuck. I know. There are so many different things that bind us to unhappiness that are almost impossible to slip away from.

Well, anyway. Here I am and I'll be going to town in a while to go with Lily so that I can watch Owen when the chiropractor adjusts her and we'll go buy Arnica and these last days of her being pregnant are so special in a way. She is living in that portal-time, that time when the world holds its breath, waiting for a new life.
I get to share that with her.

Here- one more picture.


The peas Mr. Moon planted over a week ago are finally coming up. They have decided to stretch forth from the dirt and reach up for the light. Their little green powerhouses of energy are clicking and whirring, taking the light and the water and making energy which we humans will eat. Sweet pods of crunch and goodness and Owen will eat them right from the fence where they grow.

Life. It just keeps on popping up and popping out and some of it is green and some of it is purple and all of it is noted here and appreciated.
We wait.
We tend.
We attend life.

Good morning, y'all. Good morning.

24 comments:

  1. and good morning to you. foggy here. grandkids in residence during spring break.

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  2. My grandmother (how many of my comments here start with those words I wonder...) she broke her tailbone years ago when a dog knocked her down on her patio. All they did for her was give her pain meds (probably Tylenol, not antiinflamatories) had her sit on a foam donut. So I guess I would recommend the donut and tylenol for Lily, but labor is gonna suck hard. Poor mama.

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  3. Hope her bottom feels better soon. Same thing happened to me toward the end (well, without the bamboo shoot part, I was just big as a house and unwieldy), and it made for an interesting labor.

    This quote, this one: "What is it inside of certain people that disallow them to walk out of a door into another life?"

    This has been on my mind something fierce today. I have a friend who keeps herself stuck, and fortifies her cage with more iron and brass. It's sad to watch, and try to help. It's like when people keep pet birds, and even though their cage doors are kept open they don't fly out. My problem is I see cages everywhere, and try to tear them all down.

    Also, I love watching your things growing. In Tennessee we're about 2.5 weeks behind you growth wise, so I get to see what we have to look forward to.

    Your wisdom is wonderful. xoxo

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  4. OH NO!!!
    Sending my prayers and good wishes for Lily.

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  5. Some people are stuck with their feet in self poured cement I say. Yes, they have other options and can make other choices, but keep sitting in a rut because of what? Beats me... It takes courage of course to break a mold and take responsibility for your own life. You did it Ms Moon and look at you... Life is sprouting all around you. Hope the spring baby to come can give Lilly some respite! Might be a hard labor, but we don't have to tell her that!

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  6. What? No! That's two of your lovies falling on their bums. How is Mr. Moon's big ol' bruise doing?

    I'll be sending Lily thoughts of ease and speed and hoping that baby will slip right out without too much discomfort.

    What a lucky, lucky girl you are to be able to be there as the good mother and grandmother you are :)

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  7. I like Stephanie's idea with the donut to sit on...it will help for sitting. I sure hope it is just very sore from the fall and will be feeling better as the day goes on. So sorry Lily!

    Listen Mary, my Mother-by-marriage stayed in her marriage going on 62 years. She must of left him 2-4 times and always came back. He laid a real number on her that she would have nowhere to go, no money and no one would want a woman who had 3 kids. He is a real jerk. Demanding man...and more but I'm just not going to put into writing the words that pop in my head like popcorn.

    I would rather know that when one comes from a less than loving mother or father (God forbid both!) that it instills in your heart that there is better and you will bring it on. And that is why you and I love our children to bits. And we keep on spreading it out to them...

    The birth in your garden has begun Mary...thank you for the photos too.

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  8. Oh poor Lily. Someday in the future the tailbone thing will make for an interesting story. But right now it just sucks. I hope she finds relief.

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  9. I am wondering who will win the war between wisteria and bamboo?

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  10. Yowch! So sorry that Lily has an "ow bum" as the Corn Tiger would say. Hope that tailbone feels better today and that she has an easy delivery.

    So glad to be keeping watch with you for the coming of this new member of the Moon clan. x0 N2

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  11. Arnica ASAP, it works better the sooner you take it, I find. If you can find a place that sells 200 instead of 30, so much the better.

    Hopefully the chiropracter is someone who works with pregnant people a lot - and should be able to tell if it's broken or not. Poor Lily! Such a scare, and so sore.

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  12. Oh I hate to hear that about Lily's tailbone! What terrible timing. Maybe this baby won't come for 2 weeks and she'll have time to heal. Ha, I'm not sure which is worse?!

    Otherwise, a beautiful snapshot of your beautiful life.

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  13. hope lilly heals fast and that new baby comes even faster.

    spring is sprung here too. we have tulips and other delights spurting forth from the dead leaves we did not imagine, it's like a welcome home gift from the previous owners (along with the stuff they left in the garage which we hope we can craigslist)

    be well and rest for a busy time is upon you all with all the birth happening in and around your home.

    xxalainaxx

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  14. Thank you for this post. I am still waiting for something, for anything. Despite the 100 daffodils in bloom today, despite the white and purple crocus, despite the buds on the hydrangea and the leaves on the water maples, I find nothing in Kentucky that calls my name.

    It is my fondest wish to be a grandmother someday.

    Please keep these beautiful photos and posts coming.

    Pamela the Stuck

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  15. It does indeed sound like a good morning, despite Lily's mishap. I hope the chiro and arnica do the trick. And the labor is easy and short.

    Love seeing your spring flowers. It's such a promise of a season.

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  16. Ellen Abbott- Oh. Have some fun!

    Stephanie- She's sort of using her old Boppie to sit on. That thing that helps with nursing position? Bless her heart. This is hard.

    Chrissy- I used to try and help friends in situations like that but all it did was frustrate both of us. I finally learned that this was not my job. I could offer whatever help the other person needed IF THEY WANTED IT and then excuse myself and go live my own life. I am afraid I have my own cages. I am not very bold. I wish I were bolder.
    This growing season of new spring is amazing. You will love it when it gets to you.

    Yo- Oh yes! It's so sad to watch her be in such pain.
    Thanks for good wishes.

    Photocat- I think Lily knows!
    She is not so happy about it, either.

    liv- Mr. Moon's bruise went downwards onto his leg! It was the weirdest thing! But it is almost gone now.

    Ellen- I am SO AWARE of how lucky I am in my mate and yes, perhaps because I saw how unlucky someone can be.

    Jill- Yes. I can hear her now, fifteen years from now: "I pushed you out over a broken tail bone and you will NOT talk to me that way!"

    Jeannie- That is a constant and bruising battle, that one!

    N2- Owen just says "hurt butt."

    Jo- Well, she got what arnica she could when she did and no, the chiropractor wasn't able to tell.

    Lora- Boy, that is a toss-up. She doesn't want to wait two weeks. I know that for sure!

    Mrs. A- Thank-you, honey! Enjoy your gifts of spring!

    Pamela- You have good reason to be stuck. And I doubt you are as stuck as you think. Sometimes growth is like the spring bulbs. You don't see any growth at all until suddenly...
    Always, thank-you for commenting.

    Kathleen Scott- Ah, I too hope that for Lily! Thank-you.

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  17. That is too bad about Lily... terrible timing.
    I get a sense she is strong and will be okay. Like her mother:)

    The garden photos and words are very appreciated. We are just just beginning to see signs of spring. Earlier than normal , but still.

    I am heading to Amherst , Mass tomorrow to visit my daughter there, and know that the season is ahead of us here in Burlington , so I'm looking forward to that. And everything else about seeing my baby .

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  18. Oh dear. When we built the new deck, we removed the wisteria (sob) which I love when it blooms and scents the air. And then it tries to grow into the house to STRANGLE us.

    But.

    I love it when it blooms. Enjoy it for me. And your new grandbaby, how delicious.

    XXX Beth

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  19. Where to start? Hope Lily feels better, and yes, i don't understand how people can stand not to sleep with their babies, either.

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  20. Oh Geez. Poor Lily. Speedy healing!
    I broke my tailbone in a tobogganing accident when I was in college. Getting around in the day to day was not so bad after the initial bruise healed.Though I think it was a year before I could sit through a double feature. And when will a working momma of two ever have time to sit through two movies?! I hope this bodes well.
    What a sweet image...the three of you napping together.

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  21. Ugh for Lily. That must hurt. But I can imagine that all of this is going to hurt. Birth is a miracle to me.

    As far as staying in situations--I think that many people simply don't feel that there is anything else for them to do. Better the devil that you know than the one that you don't. I do think that people can change, but there has to be a mighty effort to do so.

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  22. I cannot imagine how that must hurt, but she is lucky to have you and your wisdom about Arnica. The whole post is just so full of love. New life. Sleeping together like puppies. All of it. Thanks.

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  23. I am so sorry to hear of Lily's injury to her tailbone -- that's just awful. It's funny, but on MY due date with Henry, my second child, I twisted my ankle and fell off a ledge while carrying a hamper of laundry to the machine (it was outside in my rental in LA!). I had to go to the ER because I couldn't walk on it, and of course when I walked in they thought I was in labor. I walked out with crutches and had to lug my enormous body around for nearly two weeks afterward. There you go.

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