Monday, March 19, 2012

Every Day Soon Means Sooner

There you have the children. Or what I call the children and always will, even if I am in my eighties and they are in their sixties and fifties. Mr. Moon and I met up with everyone for lunch and we had spicy food and it was so sweet.
I sat there and began to cry a little bit.
"What's wrong, Mama?" they asked, but I told them that nothing was wrong. Nothing at all. I was happy. I was scootched up next to Owen who was eating pizza because he didn't want Mexican and he was rubbing his pizza all over me and I was just...happy.

Lily appears to be in what they call "prodromal" labor which is when the uterus is beginning its work and getting tuned up, as we might say, for the actual labor to begin. It can be painful and difficult because the contractions feel quite real but they are not regular and they are generally short. The biggest problem about this stage of labor (which some women never feel) is that it is so tempting to try and really get things "started" by walking and being very active when what the body really needs is the rest and nutrition it will truly need when labor begins in earnest.
And so Lily had her spicy food and then we walked around World Market and then she went home and napped for awhile. Her wise midwife advised her to take a Benedryl tonight, or have a glass of wine to try and get some rest.
I concur heartily. When true labor begins, she won't be able to sleep and she will wish that she had when she could have.

Oh, how I remember all of this. This is how I labored, too. Hours and hours and sometimes days of these tuning-up contractions. This is not false labor. It is just the beginnings of the process. And sometimes a lot of work gets done in this part of the process. The cervix thins and dilates and everything gets set in the proper position.
But it feels so unfair to the mama who is naturally thinking that this is it! the baby will get here soon! and yes, she is right, but once again- that relativity of the word soon comes into play. So hard to be patient and wise and restful when the heart and soul tell you to hurry! come on! let's do this thing!
Pregnancy and childbirth are actually the best beginning lessons of what parenthood will require. That's just the truth and they are not easily learned. There is nothing easy about them at all.

And so we all wait. We do not want to sit around and watch her like a pot set on the burner to boil. We all know about those watched pots. No. We need to let her be, just as she needs to let her body do what it must do, all in its own time. We do not need to be fussing over her. We shall fuss over her when it is time to fuss over her. Until then- we get our own rest, we let her do what she needs to do to go into her next stage of labor.

I keep thinking of the baby chickens who are incubating right now. How absurd it would be to try and hurry that process. Pointless, too.
Did you know that tiny chicks in the egg have beaks which are designed to peck their way out of the egg when it is time? They do. Isn't that clever? Isn't that amazing?

And so, we continue to wait. She will let us know when it is time, when she needs us with her. Jessie is with her now, just hanging out, helping with Owen.
This is a special time. An exciting time. And for all of us to get together today was a joy to me. Probably the last time we'll all get together for a lunch out before this baby comes. Probably. But who knows?

I can't wait. I can wait. I have no choice. Even as I write this, things are progressing. Just as with the eggs, we can't always see the progress, but we can be sure that progress is being made.

I'll let you know. I am grateful for all of you who are following this most basic and ubiquitous experience of them all. The most incredible and miraculous, too.

There is much to be pondered there.
I do.

Let us all get our rest tonight. A baby is coming soon.


  1. Look at those beautiful children!

    I love me some Benedryl :D

  2. So funny... I have never met Lily, nor you, yet I am following this story with a weird impatience too. You are right of course, we can't speed up nature, even if we wanted to. I am off to bed now, it is 12 midnight here in Europe. My first thing in the morning will be to check your blog to see how far the chick, euh, baby, has decided to pick its way out... Or whether it has decided to stay in for a couple of more days...

  3. Ah. I've been thinking of you and Lily and yours all day.

    Best wishes for a beautiful birth to all of you.

  4. Big, big sighs for Lily. I remember it oh so much.

  5. I don't post much, but I read your blog every day and I, too, find myself checking it several times a day to see if the baby is here! The child has a big fan club already!

  6. So excited for your new grand baby. Much love and prayers for a healthy labor and delivery and especially healthy baby.

  7. I. Cannot. Wait.

    Is this normal? For you blog-fam to be this excited? I feel my own uterus tightening up just thinking about it. Well, not really, but you know what I mean. I'm excited for y'all, Sister Moon!

  8. Beautiful family, soon to be bigger and more beautiful. A nice thought.

  9. A happy, loving family all together. A beautiful sight to behold. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for including us in this baby watch. Sigh, indeed.

  10. Ah, families. Sweet to see.

    I hope I can sleep tonight. Waiting for the baby to come is one of the most exciting stages of life. Wishing the best for all of you!

  11. I like how we are all touching someone else in that picture in some way. Not because we have to (to get close to take the picture) but because we all reach out for each other all the time and it is just natural.
    Lunch was so fun! Before we left, Matt asked who was going to be there and I said, "Oh, you know, the whole gang... Mama and Daddy and Lily and Jason and Owen and Hank and Jessie. That's a good enough reason to have lunch even if we weren't having a baby."
    We do have a beautiful family. I love you Mama, so much.

  12. That baby is lucky, that's all I can say. Pretty doggone lucky!

  13. Great photo and soon there will be an addition to the photo. Hoping all goes well. Thinking of you all.

  14. Lily is so lucky to have a birth with her whole sweet family nearby to support her. Isn't it amazing how many women call their docs when they have the pre-labor and then they get admitted and then drugged and then baby gets stressed and then they are all so relieved that the doc was there to save the day when baby wouldn't be born timely. Ooops didn't mean to have that rant. What I wanted to say is I have been swamped with life but always love reading your wonderful words. It is the first day of spring and what a wonderful time for new babies and chicks. In passing the other day I had a vision of Lily's family of 4 and the little one was a girl.

  15. What a wonderful family! I'll do a little baby birthin' dance here in my office to help ease the passage.

  16. That family of yours just GLOWS!

  17. Somehow I missed this post and now I know there is a baby in such loving arms as all your family are gathered.

    Such a day....such wise words Mary...


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