There you have the children. Or what I call the children and always will, even if I am in my eighties and they are in their sixties and fifties. Mr. Moon and I met up with everyone for lunch and we had spicy food and it was so sweet.
I sat there and began to cry a little bit.
"What's wrong, Mama?" they asked, but I told them that nothing was wrong. Nothing at all. I was happy. I was scootched up next to Owen who was eating pizza because he didn't want Mexican and he was rubbing his pizza all over me and I was just...happy.
Lily appears to be in what they call "prodromal" labor which is when the uterus is beginning its work and getting tuned up, as we might say, for the actual labor to begin. It can be painful and difficult because the contractions feel quite real but they are not regular and they are generally short. The biggest problem about this stage of labor (which some women never feel) is that it is so tempting to try and really get things "started" by walking and being very active when what the body really needs is the rest and nutrition it will truly need when labor begins in earnest.
And so Lily had her spicy food and then we walked around World Market and then she went home and napped for awhile. Her wise midwife advised her to take a Benedryl tonight, or have a glass of wine to try and get some rest.
I concur heartily. When true labor begins, she won't be able to sleep and she will wish that she had when she could have.
Oh, how I remember all of this. This is how I labored, too. Hours and hours and sometimes days of these tuning-up contractions. This is not false labor. It is just the beginnings of the process. And sometimes a lot of work gets done in this part of the process. The cervix thins and dilates and everything gets set in the proper position.
But it feels so unfair to the mama who is naturally thinking that this is it! the baby will get here soon! and yes, she is right, but once again- that relativity of the word soon comes into play. So hard to be patient and wise and restful when the heart and soul tell you to hurry! come on! let's do this thing!
Pregnancy and childbirth are actually the best beginning lessons of what parenthood will require. That's just the truth and they are not easily learned. There is nothing easy about them at all.
And so we all wait. We do not want to sit around and watch her like a pot set on the burner to boil. We all know about those watched pots. No. We need to let her be, just as she needs to let her body do what it must do, all in its own time. We do not need to be fussing over her. We shall fuss over her when it is time to fuss over her. Until then- we get our own rest, we let her do what she needs to do to go into her next stage of labor.
I keep thinking of the baby chickens who are incubating right now. How absurd it would be to try and hurry that process. Pointless, too.
Did you know that tiny chicks in the egg have beaks which are designed to peck their way out of the egg when it is time? They do. Isn't that clever? Isn't that amazing?
And so, we continue to wait. She will let us know when it is time, when she needs us with her. Jessie is with her now, just hanging out, helping with Owen.
This is a special time. An exciting time. And for all of us to get together today was a joy to me. Probably the last time we'll all get together for a lunch out before this baby comes. Probably. But who knows?
I can't wait. I can wait. I have no choice. Even as I write this, things are progressing. Just as with the eggs, we can't always see the progress, but we can be sure that progress is being made.
I'll let you know. I am grateful for all of you who are following this most basic and ubiquitous experience of them all. The most incredible and miraculous, too.
There is much to be pondered there.
Let us all get our rest tonight. A baby is coming soon.