Thursday, May 13, 2010

Free Will? I Don't THINK So

It's been a long, strange day. I have a bit of a cold, just enough to weigh me down and make me feel heavy and weird in the head. Just enough to let the anger in me out. Just enough to make me feel inadequate in every way.

And I know it's all hormones, all this cold virus, all whatever-the-fuck-it-is that makes us feel the way we feel. I heard a woman on NPR today who is a neurologist named Dr. Louann Brizendine who has written one book called The Female Brain and one called The Male Brain and if I had any doubt as to the fact that we are all driven by biology and DNA, it was cleared up in that one hour of listening to her talk. It sort of made me just want to throw my hands up in the air and say, "I surrender!" and go back to bed for the rest of my life.

We are here to reproduce and although there is a lot of magic in the process (did you know that men who sleep with their pregnant wives inhale the hormones their wives put out into the air which create actual brain changes preparing them to be fathers?) it sort of made me realize that there is no escaping destiny and that no matter what, I have done my job and that is that. I attracted mates, I reproduced, I raised my young.

There you go.

Don't even talk to me about manifest destiny, fate, predestination or free will. It's all just damn DNA. Get this- men who have one sort of one DNA strand are good partners who mate (mostly) for life while men who have another sort of that same DNA strand are not and can't be faithful and make lousy husbands and have miserable wives when they do marry. Think Tiger Woods. And of course, we can all choose not to act on our DNA. Maybe. I guess. Sort of. Whatever.
But bottom line- usually we do act on it.

And there you go.
And thank god that tomorrow Owen will be here because although I am quite certain that I have some strands of DNA somewhere that compel me to love and be obsessed by my grandson, I'm okay with that because while he's here, I have but one thought and that is to protect and love him. To play with him and make him happy. To honor my daughter, the offspring of my very own loins, by taking good care of her son.

And I won't be thinking about all of the other stuff that drives me crazy and makes me weird.
Unfortunately, we are not (by my own theory) all ape DNA. No, we have to have that crazy alien DNA in us too, which leads us to thoughts of inadequacy and artistic and personal and creative achievement.

And lets not even talk about the incredibly smart and wicked virus intelligence which allows things like colds and the flu to take over our bodies and use us for their own evil purpose.

No. Let's not.
Let's all get some good sleep and wake up feeling better in the morning, our DNA, biology, destiny and fate all in balance, all working for the good of the planet, all making us content with our choices and our decisions.


I'll try if you will.

Sweet dreams.


  1. I have that same bit of a cold, weird headed thing myself. Combine that with the heat, dizzy spells and auras and it makes for a surreal day.

  2. I don't know. All of this makes me feel like I'm NOT doing my "job," my "duty." Or as you put it on my blog today--you get the house and the children, and I get the job.

    I don't know. I just know I'm so tired of feeling inadequate.

  3. It's why I like the idea that I am powerless over people, places and things. I truly am--and the DNA analysis proves it. Men are from Mars and planets beyond and women are lucky to not be moons circling those planets.

  4. Just great! Guess I don't have a chance, do I?

  5. My, my, Ms Moon, you have given us a lot to think about today!

    I have NO time for people trying to control women's lives with legislation.

    Bad husbands explained by bad DNA - as good an explanation as any.

    Hope your cold thing is gone in the morning.

    Nighty night! x0 N2

  6. Existential stuff!!!!
    It would be so easy to just shuvv bad things on dna or predestination...
    I partially believe in serendipity... I believe that if you turn your lap in the right direction (own choice) you make the chance of luck falling into it bigger (fate?)
    Well written again.

    I am cooking with you for the women who are victims and those crazy pro lifers who want to rule their woombs... The more I read about it, the more I am convinced that pro life is walking around with horse glasses on, life at all cost, even when the cost is way too high...

  7. Wanted to comment on yesterday's post - If you're in Florida, please call Governor Crist at 850 488-4441 and ask him to Veto HB 1143. You do not have to give your name if you don't want to. They do ask you what city you're calling from and they have a record of your phone number. The Governor's office opened at 8am EDT. Please call - this is SO important.

  8. I am sorry, I call bullshit. I think our brains are different, of course, but I refuse to believe that men are lousy faithless bastards because it is in their fucking GENES, or women are sluts or shitty mothers for the same reasons. Please. Where is th personal responsibility in that?

  9. My cold is lingering too, what the heck? I want to taste food again. I'm agitated and inadequate and old lately. At least that's what my brain says to me.

    I loved your post and the article - lots of fascinating stuff - we barely know a thing about how people work, do we? I was thrilled to see science validate my theory that men want to fix and we just want to be heard, to share the trouble.

    I have crazy DNA too. Methinks we think too much, because we're paying too close attention to everything and there's too much to know.

    Have a ton of fun with that jouyous busy baby, wishing you just happy thoughts.

  10. Ms. Trouble- Auras? Oh my.

    SJ- You have it backwards- I feel like you're doing MY job! I should be DOING something. Plus, you have plenty of time to satisfy your DNA's needs.

    Syd- To put it crudely, as I have been known to do, I always say that women are from earth and men are from penis. But you know- it's only a joke. Sort of.

    Mel's Way- Hey! We all have different DNA! That's one thing you can count on.

    N2- Really. I'd rather blame a bad husband's behavior on DNA rather than something I'd done. Or not done.

    Photocat- I'm with you.

    Jucie- Will do!

    Kori- Well, we CAN overcome our DNA. I guess. I was sort of joking, you know. But I think there is truth in it. I do. And you know I believe in personal responsibility.

    Mel- It's been a beautiful morning with the boy.

  11. Oh, I don't know. I think I'm the backwards one, really, and that everyone knows it but me.

    Sometimes I really don't feel like i have enough time to have kids.

    Perhaps the joke's on me.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.