In approximately one hour and a little more I am going to drive (through the dark, through the night, through the town) to pick up Mr. Moon at the airport and such a simple thing- I mean holy moly, really? go pick up your man at the airport, the teeny tiny Tallahassee airport and I've been so anxious all day long. Just completely inappropriately so.
I even took one of my hoarded few remaining Ativan and it didn't do squat, well, I'm still alive so maybe it did. And it made me sleepy and Lily brought the boys out and we ate lunch and then I got to take a little napette with my Gibson and then he woke up and I gave him to his mama and I went back and slept some more, more, more.
I got up and it was so wonderful, having them still here, Gibson to smile at me, Owen to tell me to come and play with him, Lily to hug me.
Mr. Moon called earlier today when he was back in the states and he's worried about me and I hate that. I am hoping that when he bends down to kiss me it all comes out all right, like a happily-ever-after story and that he holds me tightly. I think he will.
I think maybe we'll stop in town for a bite to eat and maybe a drink and then come home to this house where we live and everything will quit being so weird and scary. I haven't been scared of being alone like someone is coming to get me or anything like that. Just scary like there's no one's head here but mine.
It'll be good to have another head here. I'm going to make him hold me tight, maybe all night. Who knows? Not me. I don't know shit anymore, despite what I said yesterday.
Don't know shit.
But I am going to wear a little make-up. Yes.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Love...Ms. Moon The Scaredy Cat