Thursday, November 8, 2012

I'm So Mean AND The Best Video You May Ever See

I did not have to get up at three to take Mr. Moon to the airport. He drove himself and Hank is coming over in awhile to get me and take me there to pick up Mr. Moon's car. I am so grateful.
I did get up to tell my husband good-bye. I even offered to cook him some breakfast but he thanked me and said that coffee and some muffins and a yogurt would do nicely.
Then he shaved his beard.
I'm not sure why, but that disturbed me.
It disturbed me at three a.m. and it disturbs me now.


Now I'm going to go wash everything in the house with scented detergent and rinse it all in Suavitel which is a cheap-ass fabric softener that reminds me of Mexico with its artificial lavender odor. Haha!
I'm not kidding.
I guess it's sort of like burning sage but not really. Do people still do that? Burn sage?

Okay. I just googled "Suavitel" and found this:

It's the website of a person who is so upset by his or her neighbor's use of a fabric softener that he or she is starting a class action suit against Colgate Palmolive. Good luck with that!

Oh my god. I now want to use TONS of Suavitel. I wish that was my neighbor.

Not really. I swear though, people get upset about the weirdest things. I know I do. I have spent approximately forty-eight hours writing a comment to a blog and then deleting it. I do this over and over. I SO want to comment on this particular blog but I just can't bring myself to do it. I know the woman who writes it would probably have to go to bed with nervous anxiety for a month if I did. If I told her what I really think about what she wrote yesterday she'd probably start internally hemorrhaging. Do you ever do this? Want SO badly to tell someone something but know that it's not the right thing to do? That in the end, it would accomplish absolutely nothing except increase the negative energy in the universe?
Also, I'm afraid she'd just shut down her blog entirely and I get a perverse delight in reading it. My pleasures are so few, I'd hate to lose one.

Do you see how mean I am? No wonder my husband shaved his beard and took off to hunt in Canada for eight days. He did leave me a love note on a paper plate. He's very romantic. And I will keep that paper plate forever. I am very romantic too. This, my friends, is what keeps love alive and marriage intact!

All right. I better get moving around here. Time's a wastin'! The boys are coming over again this afternoon! I have to wash stuff in heavily scented chemicals! I have to eat! Hank will be here soon!

It's a beautiful day in Lloyd, Florida. I hope it's a beautiful day where you are too. At the very least, we can all (most of us) be cheered that Obama will be president for another four years.

Love...Ms. Moon, The Hunting Widow

Billy just sent me the link to about the best video I've ever seen. Because I love you, I am sharing it with you. I just love Billy. You do too. You may not know it, but you do.

Bless our hearts. Amen.


  1. Oh yes, I do that. I write comments and then erase them cause like you say, the only probable result is to increase the negative emotions on the planet.

  2. I'm thinking about bagging it all, surrendering and buying some Fabuloso myself.

    That video is hilarious --

  3. I got that shit from my mama. It made me love southern ladies even more than I already did.

  4. I burn sage.

    I too, often want to make comments which would not be welcomed or agreeable (So yea, I'm mean too! I mean, I don't think of it as mean so much as sharing... hee hee!)

    And... I DO love Billy. I miss him and I miss New Leaf. The health store here sucks in comparison. I swear it does. Weird, aye?

  5. OMG!!! I just watched the video, it was all that and a bag a chips!

    My fave was the "He's a goober."

    Love it.
    xo Also, I am feeling less homesick, thanks.

  6. I know the feeling. We had a Republican Fundie in our house on election night. We made a point to maintain civility until they uttered, "Obama is the devil", and let me tell you it was very nearly on like Donkey Kong. My immediate reply was, "a lot of bigots and brainwashed Fox News consumers feel that way", which in my defense, wasn't exactly name-calling, but it definitely didn't serve to de-escalate the situation. Lot of scholarly folks here in Idaho.

  7. Yes. I frequently want to comment SO BADLY but know it's not the right thing to do.

  8. Now I am paranoid about what I wrote on my blog yesterday (I can't remember I just vomit it out as my writing practice you understand) and I think I should close my blog all down and I think perverse isn't so bad when it's part of practice.

  9. O yes, I often rehearse what I'll say to my Mother the next time she criticizes/compares or complains . . . And then I end up biting my tongue instead, like I have for the last 40 odd years . . . And the older she gets the less likely it is that I'll ever have my say. O well.
    I go overboard with Fabric softener (Lenor here in UK) . . . I love the stuff. I get approx 7 doses out of a 22 dose bottle! The whole house smells of Lenor and Patchouli, warmed in oil burners.
    Going back to try watch video again, it wouldn't let me earlier x

  10. There are people that I know who actually talk like that. Well--I've heard them say some of those things over the years that I have lived here.

    Mr. Moon will come back with more of a beard probably. Hunting and camping tends to do that.

  11. Hilarious. Okay, I'm fixin' to fry me some okra.

  12. Ellen Abbott- And then again, energy is neither created nor destroyed. Right? Isn't that science?

    Elizabeth- I doubt they even sell it in California. Want me to send you some?

    Billy- I did not think it was possible for you to love Southern Ladies more than you already did.
    Love you, sugar.

    Ms. Fleur- That IS weird!

    Ajax- Perfect response. I adore you!

    Jo- Hell. We should probably just all do it.

    Madame King- Oh honey. Never in a million years. Certainly not you.

    Bugerlugs- Well, I'm not that far into it but you made me laugh. I hope you got to see the video.

    Syd- I've either said all of those things or definitely heard someone else say them. ALL OF THEM.
    You're probably right about the beard. I hope so.

  13. Gradydoctor- I'm fixing to go to bed! Which is my favorite thing to do.

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  15. Angella- Let me assure you- I would never, ever have that sort of inner trauma about commenting on yours or Madame King's blogs. And I wouldn't talk about such a thing on my blog about someone I KNEW was reading. I love my community. For good reasons.

  16. Mary, I do know that! That's why I deleted my comment!

  17. 1. thank God, there IS another Billy. i thought i had a stroke and was going, "oh sh%t what have i done now!?!?"

    2. oh, i learned long ago to first write my comments on a notecard.....if'n it don't burst into flames, it might be ok to post it on some poor soul's blog.

    3. loved the youtube vid, and yes i've had a chandelier at my tailgate party.


  18. That video is the funniest thing I've seen in days. I posted it to Facebook.

    It's always jarring when a guy shaves his beard. My dad shaved his beard once when I was little and my sister cried!

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  20. Oh my gosh, I've heard YOU say a lot of those things! Liz says 'well, sheeiit' a lot. Haha. This video is gold.

  21. Until I learn how "to say what I mean and mean what I say, but don't say it mean", I'll keep my mouth shut. Maybe....... Loved the video

  22. Thought you might get a kick outta my HR manager always gets onto me for saying ma'am. I started calling her sugar.

  23. Dear Billy- You ARE a ma'amer. You most certainly are. But "Sugar" is good too.


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