Lately I have been flat here in the blog world and I know it and I'm sorry. What can I say? Fighting demons takes a lot of energy and there is little left over for the joy of life and that's just the way it is.
I always joke that I am the sort of woman who, if she gets dinner on the table and the laundry accomplished, considers her job done and these days that is far from being a joke and it's not in the least bit funny. It is the grim and honest truth and after I mopped the kitchen yesterday I felt as if I had scaled Mt. Everest.
One carries on. One persists.
I have had a walk this morning and made oatmeal and I think I'm going to town to have lunch with my children. This seems like an impossible prospect, involving as it will a shower and a bra and then refilling my tiny Prius gas tank but I'm sure I can do it. I can't hide away and deny myself the sweetness of such a small thing as lunch with my babies.
The other day when I kept the boys and Lily came to get them, she took Gibson from my arms and began to kiss him, as one must with that boy and then I leaned in for more kisses too, and he looked at first his mother and then at me and then back again to his mother and the look on his face was an exact returning of the love we were giving him at that moment.
That, that is what is pulling me onward, that strong silken string of love and all of the other ones too from, and to, each of us. It is something which cannot be measured nor defined but it is as sure and present as gravity, as pure as the sunlight streaming down through the magnolia leaves this very second.
Yes.
Happy Friday, y'all.
Love...Ms. Moon
Happy Friday to you too, Mrs Moon, hope that your lethergy wears off with walking out to see those gorgeous grandsons of your.. we are so lucky to see the next generation and be part of their loving network... You dont worry about those stupid chores, loving those boys is more important.. Hope the weekend is a good'un for you too!!
ReplyDeleteMary, dear....it is absolutely OK to not want to do anything. It is even more OK to not do anything. It might even be good for you.
ReplyDeleteHonest!
Love, Lo
I know, I know, I know. It was all I could do today to not poke fun at the notion of gratitude.
ReplyDeleteCarry on.
Onward.
and that love, it is everything.
ReplyDeleteand you are not flat, by the way. even when you think you are, you're not.
OK, I am in love with that second to the last paragraph. Wow. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteI never think your blog is boring and miss it when I can't read it. I even talk about you and your chickens at work. :-)
Hi, Yes battle weary here too from fighting the demons (and losing the fight) it is exhausting.
ReplyDeleteBut love keeps me going forward too . . . Thankyou for the words that you left on my recent post. They mean so much to me. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you x
I am in the same place, with the same knowing of love.
ReplyDeletexo
janzi- Thank you so much.
ReplyDeleteLo- I know. You are right. You have no idea how much I respect what you say.
Elizabeth- We can be grateful (and should be) for the good stuff but damn if I know why we should be grateful for the fucked-up stuff.
Angella- I sure do appreciate that. I sure do appreciate you.
Nicol- You are one of my oldest friends here. I am always so glad to see you.
bugerlugs- We are all, somehow, in this together.
Maggie May- At least we have that, right? The most important thing. We have that.