Friday, November 11, 2011

Sweetness And Agitation

Despite the fact that there is nothing I have to do and nowhere I need to go, I feel agitated. As if there SHOULD be. As if I don't even know what to do with time of my own any more. I felt this as a young mother all the time- if given a few hours to myself, what would I do? And what can one really do with a few hours anyway?
And here I am now, with at least most of a weekend of free time before me and I am wallowing in indecision, not doing anything.
I could go buy material and start making quilts for Owen and for his coming-up-sibling. I could clean the house. I could weed the garden. I could clean out the hen house. I could simply sit in the sun and read a book if I so desired.
The house definitely needs cleaning. The quilts need to be made. The garden needs weeding. The hen house is filled with poop.
Read a book in the sun? Are you kidding me?
I must take a walk.
I can walk and read at the same time, the reading, of course, done with my ears.
That I shall do. And the hen house. That I must do.
The rest?
I don't know. I sort of want to walk around with a giant garbage bag and just dump stuff in it. Bits and pieces of life that do nothing but clutter my house, my soul. That would be a start.

Where does this agitation come from? What propels it? Everything I think of to do just seems so overwhelming. Too big for me. I can't chop things up into small manageable pieces anymore. If I started cleaning one baseboard, I would be weeping and on my knees until midnight. If I sat down to write a few pages of a book, I would be despairing at the loss of a dream until I died.

Well. That's not what I wanted to write today.
No. And I promise I have not been being coy about this good news. It was just not really mine to broadcast until I asked permission and let me say that I am VERY good about asking permission to write about things in other people's lives because I do respect privacy very much and that's just the damn truth.

But here you go:

Last week, before she came to visit, Jessie called us to tell us something. It was a good thing. A very, very good thing.
She had asked Vergil to marry her.
He had said yes.
Now- this is what those two decided a long time ago- that they would BOTH propose. That it was silly and sexist to expect the man to ask the woman without the woman asking the man.
Jessie and Vergil have been talking about such subjects for quite some time now. Honestly, I think that the second they truly looked into each other's eyes for the first time, they saw the faces of the babies they would have together.
You know what I'm saying?
You do, most likely.

So. Jessie asked Vergil. Vergil said yes. Vergil will propose at a time and place of his choosing. Jessie told Vergil that he has to ask her daddy for permission before he proposes to her which of course, is sexist and silly but it's sort of a joke and sort of serious, too. But Vergil will do whatever he wants because he is that sort of man.
He is, in fact, the sort of man you would want your daughter to marry.
That good.
That fine.
That able to love and be loved.

I am so glad that he's engaged to my daughter. I can't wait for her to be engaged to him too.

So here's a story I didn't ask permission to tell but I'm going to tell it anyway:

When Jessie and I went to see my mother while she was here, Jessie told her granny about asking Vergil to marry her. Mother was happy about that. She likes Vergil a great deal. And she loves Jessie so much and wants her to be happy. She told Jessie that if Vergil doesn't ask her to marry him, she should deny him sex until she does.
My mother is eighty-four, y'all.
But Jessie just laughed and said, "That would be punishment for ME."

Heh-heh. Times have changed. Thankfully.

And that's my story. More will be revealed as time passes.

Mr. Moon called me last night. He made it to Tennessee safely. It didn't freeze last night. The chickens are running around in the yard, the day is passing. I have done nothing. Vergil is engaged to Jessie.

There. Life.



  1. You are a poet, MM. Not in that rhyme the line sense, but in the sense of "seeing". You see and feel deeply. You "know" way more than most people although you say you don't know shit...the true sign of a "knower". The price for that is anxiety...and so much more. But it's a price worth paying - because the end result is a woman of your caliber - exceptional.

    But then, what do I know, except that when I read you, no matter what you are saying, I feel Love, on so many levels. xo

  2. Love this: "Honestly, I think that the second they truly looked into each other's eyes for the first time, they saw the faces of the babies they would have together."

    What a great way to put it!

    When you told us that Jessie and Vergil were coming to Cozumel, I suspected that a proposal might be in the making. Wouldn't be surprised if he pops the question in that romantic setting after hanging out with such an inspiring couple as the Mr & Mrs Moon.

    Wishing you a rest full day. x0 N2

  3. Tu as les mots pour le dire et de quelle fa├žon. Ton poulailler n'est pas mal non plus en photo,


  4. So cool! You know what? When my husband asked me to marry him, I burst out crying because I didn't want to answer. I was a recent divorcee and just wasn't ready. His blessed response was that it was sort of unfair that the man had to ask and that perhaps it would be better if both asked. A few months later, I asked him and then we were properly engaged. The rest is history -- a rocky one to be sure, but here we are.

    Blessings to Vergil and Jesse. They are beautiful people.

  5. I had a feeling that wonderful news was coming. Such excitement in your family. I am so happy for them.
    That is hilarious and so cool that Jesse can be herself with her g'ma.
    I always hated that saying that the elders would say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." I say touche with, "Why buy the whole pig when all you want is a little sausage."
    These sayings have nothing to do with your family--just saying I have heard these things from my elders.
    Your future is gonna be busy with lots of quilts (and I did not know that you can quilt!).

  6. CONGRATULATIONS to the beautiful Jessie and Vergil and their families ~ love, love, love!

  7. ────(♥)(♥)(♥)────(♥)(♥)(♥)

    Hooray for Jessie and Vergil!

  8. Liv- Sometimes I wish I didn't feel so damn much. I thank you, though and love you for saying what you did. There is a lot of love in what I say. Always.

    N2- I wish they'd just get married in Cozumel. Do it! But they probably won't. They will want to share with everyone. They are so damn beautiful together, those two.

    Les Chemin- I use a translator application to read your comments and they are so sweet. Thank-you!

    Elizabeth- When Mr. Moon asked me, I wasn't ready either but I took a leap of faith. I knew it was right, even if I was fighting it. And I was. But I leapt because I was afraid that this so very obviously good man would not wait around forever and here WE are and yes, thank goodness. Oh, thank-goodness.

    Michele R- Why buy the whole pig when all you want is a little sausage? That's great! I don't think I ever heard that one. I love it! No, I don't really quilt. I fake-quilt.

    lulumarie- Such good news and we never suspected a thing, right?

    Birdie- Thank-you, sweet, sweet woman.

  9. Hehe. I just told Vergil about this post- he loves it too. Thank you for sharing our silly, joyful news with the blog family, and in such a beautiful way. I am grateful for your words and your loving thoughts, Mama. As well as the well wishes of the rest of the blog family.
    Thank you, thank you, thank you!
    <3 Jessie

  10. this is the lift i needed today.


  11. Well, I guess this is no real surprise, but it is lovely news all the same. Congratulations, Jessie and Vergil xx

  12. yay for love and lazy days and alone time when you don't do anything. that's all good.

  13. OMG...I read your blog in reader mostly so had missed the awesome new header til now. congrats to the sweet couple!
    to you I say...I get that! been feeling that all day! thinking about you rambling around in the homestead without Mr Moon. Don't do anything crazy like clean the house! I say walk outside barefoot, mindful of the fire ants! eat ice cream for supper, read a sentence or two, howl at the moon and dance naked in the yard.

  14. Congratulations and best wishes to Vergil and Jessie. Oh happy day!

    I've always had that agitation thing going on. It's hard to deal with and I hope it fades away soon for you.

  15. Great news. I like that they both propose and share the whole thing. Not male or female roles but human roles. That is really good.


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