Sunday, November 20, 2011

I Should Start Smoking Pot

Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh my fucking dear.
I broke my washing machine.
It's sort of a miracle the poor thing hung in this long. I think it's the same one that was in this house when we moved here, seven and a half years ago.
It was probably that last rug and dog bed that did it.


So it's four days before Thanksgiving, I have a bum knee, two clean rooms, a lot of pork in the refrigerator and a broken washing machine.

We ate pork last night. I made a...pig...of myself. I kept saying, Why does it have to taste so damn good? I "fried" up those green tomatoes which had been on the vines when it froze, meaning I pan cooked them in a tiny bit of oil after I'd dipped them in buttermilk and then flour and corn meal and they were delicious and I also cooked a sweet potato with a giant apple and then mashed them up together with some brown sugar and cinnamon and the juice of an orange.

It was sort of the perfect supper, taste-wise.

We are having oatmeal for breakfast. Possibly for lunch and dinner as well.

Back to the washing machine.

Oh hell.

Mr. Moon doesn't even want to mess with it. He wants to buy a new one. Fine with me. That one in my tiny closet of a laundry room has washed a million, billion garments and a whole lot of other stuff too.
RIP, dear old appliance.

I'm supposed to go to the Opera House this afternoon. There is a movement afoot to elect me to the board of the Stage Company. I keep saying, "But what will I have to DO?" Okay, I keep whining, "But what will I have to DO?"
"Oh, hardly anything," they tell me.
Somehow I do not really believe them. I am not like Kathleen who was raised to be a good servant of the community. Her mother and father were community LEADERS! They got out there and did things. In the community.
My mother was pretty busy weeping behind a closed door when she wasn't working or cooking or cleaning.
Hey! We all have our place and our function.

But I guess I'll go. I actually did almost get elected to the board once but another woman really, really wanted that job and so I ceded to her. "I'm going to CHANGE things," she whispered in my ear with great and enthusiastic conspiratory breathiness, which was alarming. Then she never came back.

Ooh boy.

All right. Mr. Moon is about to hand me some paper-work I need to fill out for the lawyer we're about to hire to take Mother's case to force the insurance company to pay the benefits she deserves. Then he's talking about going into town and shopping for a washing machine and stopping at Mother's on the way.

I need about forty-two Ativans.

Happy Sunday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon

P.S. That picture of Keith? Well, it's Sunday. There you go.


  1. I have an old house (1888), and a very small laundry space. My advice to you (which you probably know but I didn't) is to MEASURE, MEASURE and MEASURE before you fall in love with the space-age laundry robot in bright poppy red, and then realize to make it fit you have to give up not only your dryer, but also a window).

    Good luck. Tell Mr. Moon to go get 'em. I WON my insurance fight, but it took me a long time.

  2. I can't imagine you stoned. I really can't.

    I think new appliances are actually loads of fun. Have fun!

  3. agh! sounds so frustrating! I feel your pain.

  4. My washing machine broke in 1998 and I hired a guy to come fix it and it cost more than a new washing machine would cost but he fixed it anyway and it broke again in a year and I've never been able to afford a new one and also there is now a 57 Chevy parked in my garage the only place to put a washing machine. Hmmm. That Chevy sure does take up a lot of space. No drier either. And I gt very squicky at the laundromat and so my son does the laundry. Just thinking out loud here.

    ps. I can imagine you stoned. With me. And some pie. At the ocean.

  5. Ms. Moon-

    I'm back on the interwebs.

    you can find me here:

    it's a mess, but better than nothing.



  6. A new washing machine is awesome. You should see the new ones. They are shiny with many buttons and a COMPUTER in 'em. They 'sense' how much washing they have to do and they time it and everything. If I had a new one, not the antique I do have, I'd put it in the living room and ADMIRE IT.

    XXX Beth

  7. And now I want sweet potatoes with apples... and someone to finish the laundry.

  8. Pork is one of those things that I tend to eat too much of too. Did you ever read that book Fried Green Tomatoes? It was so long ago I remember nothing of it except I liked it and I think they made a movie out of it which probably sucked.
    Happy washing machine. And yeah, I hear ya on the servant of the community, not.
    Just babbling, good morning.
    love d

  9. Personally, those Ativans scare me--insidious little critters they are.

    It sounds like you've got a lot of stressful stuff going on all at once. That's rough, and I'm sorry it's happening. The pot sounds nice however.

  10. If I could find some pot I would most definitely start smoking it. I take ativan and keep wondering if some pot would be better.

  11. Pamela- We work on the insurance thing slowly. But fiercely. I did measure and then realized when I got to the store, I had no idea what BRAND my washing machine was. Much less what model. Dang.

    Ellen Abbott- I wouldn't have if I had continued to enjoy it. Believe me.

    Elizabeth- It's not a pretty sight. I am looking forward to a new appliance. I am.

    Darrah- It's all just small blah-blahs. I am so incredibly lucky in the whole scheme of things.

    Madame Radish King- Any way you can sell the Chevy and use the money to buy a washer and drier which would then have a place?
    Okay. With YOU I might get stoned. At the ocean. With pie. Yeah, I'd consider that.
    If we could listen to Beatles music.

    Beth- Some of the new features on washing machines ARE awesome and some of them are just ridiculous. I'll be happy, whatever I get, if it just washes my clothes.

    Lisa- Sweet potatoes and apples cannot be beat. Especially with cinnamon. And some brown sugar. Of course.

    21k- I loved the book and the movie. I think that movie stands up to time. It's just damn sweet. And sorrowful. You should maybe watch it.

    Rubye Jack- I didn't take a one.

    Birdie- I think more people should smoke pot. I think it would be a better world. I mean that, too.

  12. Sweet potatoes with apples are yummy, as are yams with apricots, which make them taste amazingly rich.

  13. Gosh--we have two washing machines. The old Maytag bit the big one a few years back. We have one for the doggy blankets and fishing clothes and one for the normal human clothing that doesn't get mungy. Hope that your day goes better. Appliance shopping sucks.

  14. You know, I looked at that photo of your washing line with all Mr Moon's camouflage and luminous orange hunting gear hanging up and thought to myself that you must have a huge and powerful hi-tech washing machine.

    Well, there we go.

    I can only put small items of clothing in my Defy washing machine circa 1997 and I wash blankets and doggy blankets and rugs and heavy towels in the bath by hand. Blood, sweat and tears.

  15. A- I've never been a big fan of apricots but I would try that.

    Syd- Sucks indeed!

    Mary LA- You blessed woman! Washing the heavy things in the bath tub! The washing machine I had was plenty high tech enough and yes, it was heavy duty. I loved it fine. I wish it had not died.


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