Thursday, November 3, 2011

News You Can't Use And Other Random Stuff

I just feel so boring here lately. So whiny. So over-and-over-again-you've heard-it-all.

I should talk about politics. Let's see...
Herman Cain.
Are you kidding me?
Every other Republican supposedly running for president.
Are you kidding me?

I could discuss popular culture.
But I am still unsure of who the Kardashians are although I am fairly sure that one of them just demonstrated quite vividly why marriage between a man and a woman is sacred.
For a few weeks.

I could discuss (going back to Herman Cain) how every freaking manager I ever had while working in restaurants sexually harassed me except for the gay guy who only harassed the guy servers.

I could discuss my agoraphobia but we've certainly all heard about that before.

I could discuss how completely unsexy/unpretty/unattractive I feel lately but we've heard that before too. Really though, I've reached a new low.

I could discuss the thing I was thinking about last night which is the family-famous story of how when I was a little girl I stole something from a grocery store (I was so young I don't even remember what OR the incident) and my mother made me take it back in, whatever it was, and apologize to the manager and I wonder now if if that has anything to do with my agoraphobia but it probably doesn't. It's probably just why I've never shoplifted anything in my life.

I could talk about how relieved/guilty I feel when I see Christmas commercials on the TV or see Christmas decorations in the stores because I am NOT DOING CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR. Okay. A little guilty, mostly relieved, and then I feel guilty because I don't feel guilty as much as I feel relieved.

I could point out that the furniture polish and a rag have been sitting on the piano for two days now. Gathering dust.

I would like to point out that two years ago today this boy was born:

Waylon Grady Lunsford. And that on that day he and Owen were this tiny:

And that now they are BIG boys and I am wishing the happiest of happy birthdays to Waylon and to his mama and daddy who are my beloved Shayla and Billy.
Two years, y'all.
Can you believe it? Can you especially believe, Shayla, that Waylon ever had trouble nursing? HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaHA!

I could tell you that the new library is opening today but NOT UNTIL FOUR O'CLOCK THIS AFTERNOON AND WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?

I could tell you that the train has gone by about fourteen times while I've been writing this.

I could tell you that Mr. Moon is going to be out of town for a few days to go pick up a car in South Florida and that I am going to be a wild, wild woman while he is gone. Wild as in Owen will be here most of today and tomorrow and so yes, I will be wildly trying to keep things out of his nose.

Oh, I could tell you all of these things and discuss every one of them but with the exception of it being Waylon's birthday, who would care?

Oh wait- here's some news: Ms. Mabel has feathers appearing again on her back. Moulting season is coming to an end and growing-in season is happening. Now if Elvis will just leave her alone she might look like a real chicken again.

And I do have other news but I am not at liberty to discuss it yet. Stayed tuned to his channel.
This news has nothing to do with Herman Cain OR sexual harassment. I promise you.

Okay. This wild woman needs to go get something done before she picks up Owen including going to the Costco where she hopes they are sampling salmon but probably will not be but will probably be sampling those nasty little frozen smoothie things instead. Or some sort of food-substitute nutritional bars. She needs to take a walk. She needs to wash her hair. She needs to shave her legs but she probably won't. Wild women don't need to shave their legs.
If their husbands are out of town.
Costco is like the Honey Badger. It don't give a shit. If you have a card.
Remember Honey Badger? Of course you do. He's nasty-ass. And if you haven't seen him, here he is. Yes, I've posted this before. So what? It's my blog?
I do not give a shit.

Better Honey Badger than Herman Cain.
In fact, that may be my new motto, my slogan.


Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Dude, a new library? I am dripping with green envy. You're right, 4:00 is too late in the day! People's stomachs are starting to growl for dinner and they're cranky as shit.

  2. Probably don't shave your legs. At least, not til your husband is on his way back. Probably hair washing will make you feel prettier. And maybe nice knickers.

    A friend of mine said homeopathy made her agorophbia way better, even though she doesn't believe in it. Could be placebo, but the effect has been lasting. Find some good placebo?
    Question though - do you WANT your agorophobia to be better?

    I once said to Martin that I probably wouldn't be bothered humiliating and traumatising my little ones if they shoplifted. He was aghast and said OF COURSE YOU WOULD but really, I don't care about it that much. I have loose morals.

  3. Being European I have no clue who Honeybadger is... And I am so glad that you don't write about politics. This girl needs her blogs with the real life stuff. The stuff happening in normal families on normal days in normal lives. And you are SOOO good in that!

  4. silverfinofhope- Well, it's just for the grand opening and then it'll be open regular hours. But who has a damn grand opening at four-o'clock?

    Jo- Very good question dear and the answer is- I do not know.

    Photocat- Well, occasionally I do write about politics. I have been uninspired in that area lately. It is all so absurd. And hell- I have no idea where honey badgers live. I just love the video.

  5. Happy birthday to gorgeous little Waylon. I thought I was the last person in the universe not to know who the Kardashians are.

    Wild women with furry legs rock.

  6. Politics- HA! keep it coming Herman Cain! and Bachman, and Perry; hilarious!
    Pop Culture- any man who could even be near the Kardashians that long deserves a fucking peace prize!
    Harassment- I'll tell you what HerAssMeant to me...

    But seriously, like the Honey Badger we must all eat cobra, get bit, pass out, wake up and yes! eat more cobra. So nasty, but that's life.

  7. Mary LA- All I know is that they have dark hair and big boobs.

    Magnum- YES! You get it. Now as to that HerAssMeant thing...
    You crack me up.

  8. Anyone that eats a snake is a motherfucking friend of mine.


    I only shave my legs once a damn week, and even that is a struggle.



  9. I don't care about the Karshadians or what they do. But I do care who could be mistakenly thought to be a leader of this country and elected by a bunch of idiots who listen to Rush Windbag and Fox. I am hoping that the Republicans just self destruct because that appears to be where this is all going. The amazing thing is that they did it to themselves.

  10. With my rant above, I forgot to wish Waylon a happy birthday. Many more to you, Waylon. You have good friends and buddies in the blogosphere as well as at home.

  11. I was just thinking that a 4:00 Grand Opening for the library would be ok if there were snacks involved, like a small snack to hold oyu over til dinner. WILL there be snacks involved?

  12. You may be finding yourself subjectively boring, but from where I sit, you're entertaining as hell. That's why I come to visit Every Single Day.

    I don't know what it is with the not feeling pretty. We don't really change that much from one day to the next, but my perception of myself sure swings around wildly. All I can think of that helps: mascara. And flirting.

  13. You can't say there is news and then say you can't say what it is!!! Do you know where my mind is taking that? :D

  14. I was really liking the whole post and all your observations about what you could talk about and then you got to the Honey Badger vid and I realized I lOVED this post! You're awesome. Thank you for making me smile today.

  15. Happy Birthday to Waylon and Good Job to Billy and Shayla!

  16. Your posts never bore me. I love minutia. Feel free to repeat yourself, I've surrendered to that on my blog.

  17. Oh no, my 4 year old grandaughter shoplifted something from Walmart recently and my daughter made her take it back and apologize to the manager. I really hope this doesn't inspire a life time of agoraphobia. (Although you've done OK for an agoraphobic. ;-} )

  18. thank you ms. moon for sharing the honey badger with us. i had this romantic idea that honey badgers ate honey and now i know they eat larvae - eewwwww. all i can think is, ummmm... it pays to be informed?
    happy birthday waylon!

  19. Happy birthday Waylon!

    Put Honey Badger on the ballot...he would have my vote. He never gets old.

  20. Word. Ms Moon, I have a bumper sticker on my little red car that says " OMG GOP WTF ? "

    NO shit about the restaurant managers. we all know that Herman Caine is really Clarence Thomas in a thinly veiled disguise. Fuckers.

    I love Honey Badger, a million times would be alright with me. And if they eat cobras, they must be from somewhere near India/Africa, right?

    We call our little rescued Mini Daschund Honey badger, because she don't give a shit either.

    (happy birthday, Waylon!!)

  21. I'm feeling so low about my physical appearance that I got stuck at that point in your post and started feeling sorry for myself -- ourselves.

  22. I once saw Waylon nurse while standing on his head.

  23. DTG- What? You think YOU never did that?


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.