Thursday, November 3, 2011

Dog Door Afternoon

Sorry about the side-ways photography. I am not a videographer. I do not even know how to spell that.

We visited goats and fed chickens and collected eggs and went on wheelbarrow rides and watered plants and dumped out all the toys and did puzzles and read books and made supper and pretended to be airplanes and monkeys and talked about the tiger in the woods.

We saw trains, we pretended to be scared, we hid from Mer-Mer, we hung out in the garden, we visited the goats again and saw the mule and the donkey too. We drummed. We built. We took a short nap and we were AWAKE and I don't know about Owen but I am going to sleep like the dead.

The child is filthy.
The house is a complete wreck.

He will be back in thirteen and a half hours. I may sleep for at least twelve of those.

Mr. Moon is out of town and I am thinking about leaving all of the dumped-out toys dumped-out. Why not?

Here are my words of wisdom for tonight:

1. Have your babies at as young an age as possible. Like, when you are twelve. Because twelve-year-olds have almost as much energy as two-year-olds and also, the grandmother will be like twenty-four. This will work out well for all concerned.

2. If you have never had or raised a child, do not ever, ever, ever open your mouth to offer parenting advice. EVER. I mean it. You can think whatever you want but keep your damn mouth shut because you do not know shit.

3. If there is anything sweeter than a spontaneous tackle and kiss from a grandchild, I can't even imagine what it is.

It's been a good day.

Now let's go to bed. As Owen would say, "Do it!" And he would mean it. And I do too.


  1. an aunt to ten, I've given advice to many friends who are new mothers. In my defense though, they ask. I know some shit, even if i didn't have them myself =) I may have mine when I'm 35. Or half past never.

  2. The way I see it, if you haven't been up with a kid all night long who is simultaneously having croupy cough and a nightmare, then you don't know shit. You can spend all day with kids, but unless you're responsible for them all tucked up in your wing, you just don't know. What's that saying? I was the perfect parent before I had kids? So friggin' true. I used to be the most kick ass mom, when I was 19 and working in a daycare. I knew everything then. I had my son young, and so do not regret it. I was 25. I am tired. Mainly because he was up late dancing naked to some MGMT songs, and I danced, too. I wasn't naked though. Good night!

  3. (and I hope my comment didn't seem snarky to the SJ above me! I was typing before she posted her comment. Geez...I sound like a bit of a bitch now!)

  4. Great words of wisdom from a smart lady. Love the video, and Owen's tie-dye shirt. Watching it reminded me a lot of my own little man because they are about the same age and say the same words. He is precious. Take care.

  5. Sliver - no worries. I really don't know anything about anything when it comes to child raising, and I really shouldn't pretend like I do.

  6. Yes ma'am--no comments from me or suggestions about child raising. I am just glad that I did not have any to raise.

  7. hahahahahahahahahahahaha.......that was SOOOOOOO funny!! I love the little drunken stumble before he goes out the door the second time! And comment #1...omg :))))) have your kids at 12 and can you imagine being a grandma at 24... now THAT would be a never ending party! Love you....thanks for the great laugh !

  8. One of my favorite students got pregnant at 14 and her mom was 29 then. Problem is it's rare to make a good mating choice at that age, but grandma was energetic!

  9. Sound advice Ms Moon, especially the point about not offering advice to your children about parenting.

  10. i love you owen... ok -- hysterical

  11. The Owen dog door thing is like my life, which is Groudhog Day, the movie. I do every goddamn thing OVER and OVER again.

  12. Oh my gosh, this video is great, love his sort of drunk stumbling, and the repetition and of course your darling voice.
    And yeah, what SB said, me too! Though wish I had you cheering me on and watching, like O does, would make it so much easier/nicer, esp the stumbling and the kissing of boo boos! ;-)

  13. Even as a parent, I have little advice to give to others beyond love them as much as you can. Every kid and parent are different.

    Plus, I'm not even able to control my dog. He's not all that interested in treats and is rather oblivious to pain - a lot like my oldest kid in fact and God knows I had no control over him either. He turned out ok though.

  14. Slippery slope leaving them dumped out toys dumped out; I'd put those away if I was you.
    I got me one of them youngin's of which you speak, so I must know shit. BUT, if that's your logic regarding who knows shit, well bless your heart.


  15. That video and Magnum's comment made my morning. And I know you were kidding about having kids at 12, but my brain said NNNOOOOOOO!!!...

    I was 19 and that was WAY TO MOTHERFUCKING YOUNG. PERIOD. For me, anyway.

    Getting over myself, now.

  16. SJ- Being aunt to ten qualifies you for quite a bit of advice-giving in my book. Love you, dear.

    silverfinofhope- Exactly. I will never forget a woman I knew coming up to me once when her child was two and saying, "I am a PhD in child psychology and I have spent my life giving parents advice about their children and I realize I don't know ANYTHING!"

    Mr. Shife- YOU are precious.

    Syd- Honestly, I think you would have made a good father.

    liv- Okay, obviously I did not really mean that. But still- it's a thought.

    NOLA- It's hard to make a good mating choice at ANY age!

    Elisabeth- Each child is different and requires different skills. That's what I think.

    Anonymous- I'll tell Owen you said so.

    Jo- Glad you approve.

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- We all do, darling. We all do.

    Bethany- That's my job!

    Jeannie- Amen!

    Magnum- I put the toys away. I will do so again tonight.
    I mean shit about kids. Of course.

    Stephanie- I know. I was kidding. Sort of.

  17. This vid made me laugh but your voice sounds so weary ahh what a little ball of energy Owen is!

  18. Madame Radish King- You are absolutely right.

  19. I think I just might print out those rules.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.