Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Well, That's Done

I'm in a fairly good mood, riding the waves of endorphins which were released when I left a doctor's office today. My doctor doesn't do the bio-identical hormones and doesn't feel comfortable prescribing them because he doesn't know enough about them so he sent me to another doc who does prescribe them and I had to go see him today.
I took my Ativan and made my way to the office and paid up front because that's what you do and looked at the pregnant ladies (this doctor is an Ob/Gyn) and read the book I'm reading right now (Connie May Fowler's, A Million Fragile Bones) until they called me and then I went through the little speech about having extreme doctor anxiety and white-coat hypertension and etc. and even with the Ativan my BP was pretty high but the doctor said, "Well, it could be worse," and then I felt a little better about it.
I had really thought I was just going to talk to him but he asked when my last Pap was and I said, "Oh, three years? I don't know," and he said, "Well, you want to do one today?" I figured Why not? because I was already disassociating so nicely that I might as well have been in a space capsule on my way to Mars or in a bistro in Paris waiting for my croissant and espresso or, in a coma for that matter.
That was all relatively painless and I have to say I liked the guy. He told me that he himself had just had his first physical in sixteen years and yeah, he knows that's not the way to be but...well.
He also told me that his wife goes to my primary physician and we agreed that he's great and I do feel lucky to have him as my own doctor.
So this guy is going to prescribe my hormones and that's good but when I went out to wait for my paperwork, I noticed a lot of Trump stuff. Yeah. In the area where they do blood pressures and weigh you and chart.
"So you're a Trump supporter?" I asked, and he went off on a mild rant about health care and how awful the ACA has been and how we're headed to one-payer and we can't let that happen because it's awful, just ask anyone in any country who has it. 
I tried real hard not to raise a ruckus. I mean- what good would it do? I'm not going to change his mind and he's not going to change mine and I need those hormones.
Does this make me an asshole? A cowardly asshole?
I did tell him that I have kids who have health care now for the first time because of Obama Care but he insisted that it probably wasn't very good health care and that anyone in this country can get health care by going to the ER. I said that that wasn't really the best way to get it and he agreed but we both sort of let it drop after that.
What do you do? It takes everything in my body and mind to get me to call and make an appointment and then an act of Congress and a dispensation from the Holy Father before I can actually walk into a doctor's office and I had done both of those things and the appointment was over and so fuck it.
I am not ignorant of the fact that it's a sad day when a doctor who has chosen to take care of women and deliver their babies voted for the pussy-grabber but for some reason I'm feeling rather sanguine about it. If there's one thing that Trump's election has shown me it's that even seemingly intelligent people can have completely different beliefs than mine and that's just the way it is. I can choose to spend my whole life making every choice I need to make based on those beliefs or I can speak my piece in a rational way and get on with my life.
I'm not hiring him to be my friend. I just don't want to have a life of one constant hot flash after another, and urinary continence is definitely something to cherish.

So that was my going-to-the-doctor story and I went to Publix and then I came home and had to take a nap due to not only the Ativan but also the adrenalin drain. I still feel a little hazy and weird.
I picked another ten thousand green beans and pulled up two more collards and now I'm going to make supper.

Jessie sent me a picture of August today.

Her text read, "August loves to take the little animals and dolls off of Dana's altar and kiss them over and over again."
She and Vergil are staying in Asheville with their friends, Matthew and Dana and Dana is pregnant too. Who knew August was so spiritual but I remember when Owen used to love to go out and see the Buddha which he called "Buddhy" every day when he was here and kiss its bald head. And remember when he used to put the turtle door stop on my own altar and cover it with my woods-found turtle shell?

My little babies. My precious little sweetlings. Who KNOWS what goes on their heads? I surely don't. All I know is that I love to observe what they do and get whatever kisses I can get from them.

Life goes on and I don't pretend to understand one bit of it.
Or, to be succinct, I don't know shit.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I'm on bioidentical hormones and they have stoped the hot flashes and the crazy mood swings. As for peeing myself, I have just accepted it and wear what I call a "pee pad". It is my firm belief that any woman over 45 that has had children has to wear one and if not she is lying. At least that is what I tell the woman I care for that have to wear adult diapers. It makes them feel better. And honestly, it is very rare a woman past 60 doesn't have to wear something. That's a fact.

    I will leave your doctor's comments alone. But good for you for getting a pap. It is so... invasive. It's a wonder women get them done at all without having to be dragged kicking and screaming. I thought after my hysterectomy I wouldn't have to get a pap anymore but I still have to get and internal. Ugh.

    I don't know shit either. There is something liberating in that. its so much easier than thinking I have it all figured out then being disappointed when I don't.

    1. The more I know, the more I know I don't know.
      Honestly, I think I would have felt as invaded getting my oil changed as that pap made me feel. I bet that guy's done ten billion of them. What's one more vagina to him?

  2. Hi there, Ms Moon.
    I've never looked at your blog before today, and I like what I see. :)

    As for your doctor story, my main comment is: how very fucking unprofessional of him to leave pro Trump stuff lying around for patients to see!! Surely politics and medicine don't mix! Although maybe they do over there. I am Australian, where we have universal "free" health cover. (There's a small percentage taken from our wages via our taxes.)
    And for those of us who choose to pay health insurance so we can select our own doctors, and go to a private hospital the concept of an insurance company refusing to pay for a procedure is unheard of here.
    End of rant. Sorry. I really do love most Americans such as your good self, I just do not understand some of them- such as THE ONES WHO VOTED FOR TRUMP!

    1. Hello, Rozzie! I'm glad you're here! And yeah, that doctor was obviously not quite right in the head. And I was quite sure that anything I said wasn't going to make him right in the head so...whatever.
      And hey! I don't understand the Americans who voted for Trump either, nor will I ever. We are not all insane in the US, but as we all now know, far too many of us are.

  3. PS: I'm over 60, so of course I wear a pee pad too.

    Signed, lady wot don't know shit.

  4. August kissing the Altar offerings is just precious! Dawn... The Bohemian

  5. As one who lives in a country with a single-payer system, let me assure that doctor that it is not awful. In fact, it's quite remarkable. It has its drawbacks -- the hospitals are more functional and less fancy, and some procedures can take a while. But he's wrong. And I agree with Rozzie -- why does he have Trump stuff like around his office? Is he TRYING to alienate his patients? He's basically a greedy doctor who's worried that a single-payer system will deprive him of income. I believe I would go elsewhere, but I admire your ability to be sanguine about the situation.

    1. He IS wrong and if we'd been in a social situation I would have gladly pointed out the error of this thinking but it was his office and I guess he can do whatever he wants to with his Trump shit. The problem is that it's not easy to find a doctor around here who prescribes this type of hormones.

    2. Can you vote in UK Steve? If Tories win we will lose our precious NHS. Sorry Mary for hi jackin here. Glad ya got your treatment despite the Trump stuff. Maggi xxx

  6. well ain't that just the shit. find a doctor that you like and he turns out to be a Trump supporter. you know, there's a difference between being educated and being intelligent. that doctor may be educated but he isn't intelligent. everyone I know who has universal health care likes it. emergencies get taken care of and stuff that's not life threatening, you may have to wait a bit but so what. like people don't wait here that have insurance. and his attitude of the uninsured going to the ER is irresponsible. well, take the meds and give him the finger. so here's a weird thing. if I am away from the house I can hold my pee forever. but at home? I'm like a three year old. can't get to the bathroom quick enough and god forbid I turn on the water or even think about it! my primary care doctor is a woman and she did my pelvic last year at my annual so no having to go to an OB-Gyn.

    1. I'll ONLY be going to him to get these hormones, Ellen. And well, maybe a pap every three years. Although I'll probably just get my primary to do it. And yes- I wanted to ask him if he thought it was okay for women just to show up at the ER when they are having a baby instead of going for prenatal check-ups, etc. Obviously, he's a bit of an idiot.
      Your need to pee at home is strange indeed!

  7. I've never seen a doctor who advertised his or her political affiliation like that. I agree that it's highly unprofessional, but I'd wager it's a rather effective way to ensure that he'll never have to treat patients of color. They'd know right away what that Trump paraphernalia was code for, or at least they'd have to weight the possibility that a doctor who would flaunt that stuff might be coming from a place that didn't particularly bode well for them. Now that precious little boy kissing the figures on the altar, he is the opposite of Trump energy. He is pure love.

    1. You know, I'd agree with you about the patients of color but the weird thing was that the exam room I was in had a very professional portrait of several generations of African American women in it, all dressed up. Very formal. I mean- it was strange in that it didn't really seem to go with the theme of pregnant ladies and babies. You know? Maybe that's the room they put women of color and old hippies in. Who knows? It's a strange world but yes, thank goodness for loving babies who don't know that the world can be a hateful place.

    2. I love you Mary Moon. You and yours make the world a more loving place.

  8. اهمية النظافة في حياتنا
    الانسان بفطرته التي خلقه الله عليه دائما ما يبحث عن النظافة في كل مكان اينما رحل واينما تواجد فهوا دائما يبحث عنها وحيث يترتب على النظافة بشكل عام الامور النفسية المستقرة
    كل تلك المشاكل حلها الوحيد عند شركة تنظيف بالاحساء البعد كل البعد عن الامراض التي تجلبها الحشرات التي تتواجد من الاهمال في النظافه
    والاوبئة والفيروسات والتي دائما نريد الابتعاد عنها ,كما ان الانسان كلما كان نظيفا فهذا يدل على وضعه ومكانته والبيئة المتواجد بها والنظافة في كل بلد وكل مدينة وكل دوله هي المنظر الحضاري الجميل الزي يأخز عنها .


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