The crazy has been strong within me today and I have various theories about why and of course, who really knows but I think I may have actually had a sort of panic attack after breakfast, feeling as if small currents of electricity were sparking off inside me and my stomach is definitely off and for a moment or two at El Jalisco I felt as if I might pass out or something but I didn't.
I took an Ativan and came back and laid down on the bed in our beach room and looked at the Oleander blowing outside the window and breathed as best I could and then I slept for a few moments.
We went into Apalachicola this afternoon and walked around a few shops and peeked into a house for sale and went down to our property where I saw a raccoon trundling back into the heavy growth by the water and I followed him up to a point and then squatted and peed. That had nothing to do with the raccoon. I just had to pee.
Now we're back at the Simmons again and I still feel far from peaceful although the ocean has calmed down from what it was this morning which was a raging churn of waves and froth. It's still not a body of water I want to get in right now. A few weeks ago a guy died right off this island, saving his nephew in a riptide. No one else is swimming either but maybe we'll take a walk in a few minutes. I just feel completely uneasy and yes, anxious, and unlike yesterday it does suck.
Well, that's enough of that. We all know I'll live.